


You promised me we´d always be fine

by Mimmi_ger



Series: Fools, Sinners, Liars [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bellatrix finds her end, F/M, Female Harry Potter, Friendship, M/M, Still AU, Teacher-Student Relationship, Therapy, Trials, everything seems fine, finally happy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-06-12 09:28:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 71,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15336906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimmi_ger/pseuds/Mimmi_ger
Summary: Sixth year is over. Rose and Severus weathered the storm and everything is shaded in soft pink. Love, peace and more love.But of course it doesn´t stay like this for long and the idyll is shaken by Bellatrix´ newest coup. Will she finally manage to reach her aim and kill Rose in the name of Voldemort?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh gosh! Part five! *squeel*  
> You´ve read aready almost 180.000 words of what falls out of my head! I´m sooooo...I can´t find the words to tell you how happy I am that you´re still with me on this journey and obviously willing to read more.  
> I love you all! :D
> 
> Like always the title is borrowed from a song from the wonderful Lauren Aquilina, this time it´s "Broke".
> 
> Here you go:

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose lazed in the sun, contemplating how to tell Sirius finally the truth about herself and Severus. She feared the encounter as much as she anticipated it, but she was tired of not seeing Severus only because Sirius had no idea. Severus had promised they´d made their relationship official for the family, he had also suggested to take her birthday as reason to do so. But her birthday was still two weeks away and she preferred to spend more than four weeks with Severus before school started again and she therefore had to hide her feelings.

Rose sighed and opened her eyes as someone stepped between her and the sun. She blinked against the sudden brightness.

“Remus?”

“Hello darling,” he said and crouched down next to her. Rose sat quickly up and wrapped her arms around Remus´ neck. She had not seen him in over a week because he´d been away on Order business.

“I´m so glad you´re back,” she said into the crook of his neck as he returned her embrace, holding her tight and kissing her hair.

“Me too, but I brought guests. Come down, will you?”

Rose leant back and frowned. She didn´t like the seriousness of his tone and even less the weary expression in his eyes.

“Is something wrong?”

Remus sighed in way of agreeing and pulled Rose to her feet. He slung one arm around her shoulder and guided her inside. Rose shivered. Grimmauld Place was always chill even with fires flickering merrily in every hearth, but Remus´ wordless confirmation of a problem only added to the cold feeling.

As they came into the kitchen, they were greeted by almost the complete Order, but the mood was heavy and quiet.

Rose scanned the room but couldn´t see Severus. Remus squeezed her shoulder.

“He´s late, but he will surely come.”

“He´s never late, except something happened,” Rose replied uneasy, swallowing around the lump in her throat.

Hermione waved through the room and Rose walked over, joining her friends. Draco leant closer and kissed her cheek with a smile. They hadn´t seen each other since holidays had started because he´d spent his time at the Burrow, much to Molly´s joy who wouldn't stop praising what a nice boy Draco was.

While the silence threatened to suffocate the whole room, Dumbledore gazed at his pocket watch and frowned. His gaze roamed once around before descending again to the watch. He shook his head and looked back up.

“I´m afraid we can´t wait for Severus,” he said with regret heavy in his voice. “I got word from Lucius this morning. Bellatrix seemingly found a way to finally manipulate the Dark Marks to locate each Death Eater. Lucius reported she plans an attack on Azkaban to free them.”

“Azkaban? How does she think she will succeed?” Sirius asked, laughing in disbelieve.

“We don´t know. She shares only the minimum information with the others. But Lucius is confident she has something up her sleeve, otherwise she´d not chance such a risk.”

“Holy hell. Attacking Azkaban,” Sirius muttered and a few others agreed.

“Kingsley and the Ministry are informed. They sent Aurors as additional guards to Azkaban and will evacuate some of the prisoners to unknown locations to make it more difficult to trace them.” Dumbledore looked indeed sour about the whole topic, pursing his lips.

“But if Bellatrix can locate the Marks, won´t she be able to trace everyone, no matter where we hide them?” Rose asked.

“If it works like Lucius suspects, yes, then she will be able to trace them all, but we borrow time with bringing them to different locations all over the country. At least we hope that,” Dumbledore said and nodded.

The sudden sound of apparition startled everyone.

Rose made a high-pitched sound and rushed forward the moment she recognised the newcomer as Severus. He was covered all over in blood. His white shirt was soaked and clung wet to him, dripping blood on the floor. Without thought Rose slid her hands over his chest, trying desperately to find the cause of that much blood. Severus took her frantic moving hands in his, holding her still.

“It´s not mine. I´m ok,” he whispered and then wrapped his arms around her. He pressed her tight against him and kissed her forehead, ignoring the confused looks from the others in the room and the impatient cough of Dumbledore.

“It was a trap!” Severus said finally, gazing over Rose´s head to Dumbledore. “Bellatrix never planned to attack Azkaban. She used our stalling tactics and freed those who got shipped away. She put two guards under the Imperius Curse and killed everyone else.”

Chaos broke loose as everyone raised his voice and talked at once. Rose took a step back from Severus and peered up. He shook his head, weary, and took her hand, but Rose leant into him again, bringing her arms back around his waist.

“Quiet!” Dumbledore demanded and silence fell over the room again. “Why were you there?”

“Lucius informed me because he couldn´t contact you. I informed Kingsley as the call for help came from the evacuation team.” Severus tightened his arms around Rose. Until now no one had said a word about them, but surely that would come after the first shock was over. Sirius shot them burning stares through slitted eyes.

“Who´s freed?” Dumbledore seemed barely able to contain his anger, his eyes blazed furiously behind his half-moon spectacles.

“The Lestrange brothers, Mulciber and Avery are free. They disappeared with Bellatrix.”

“Avery?” Rose whispered and her eyes widened fearful. Severus only nodded and kissed her forehead again.

“I have more bad news,” Severus added gravely. “Bellatrix knows that Rose is here and…”

“Grimmauld Place is under the Fidelius, she can´t find her here,” Sirius snapped. He eyed the ongoing embrace of Snape and his goddaughter already all the time and he´d have long said something if the other topic wouldn´t be more urgent.

“And Bellatrix found a way to specifically locate Rose´s Trace,” Severus finished his sentence much louder than he´d started. Immediate silence filled the room.

“Impossible,” Dumbledore said, shaking his head.

“No. Rose is not safe anymore. Bellatrix can locate her everywhere.”

Dumbledore went ashen and slumped back in his chair. Molly rushed to his side, aiding him with a glass of water.

Severus turned his attention to Rose, pushing her on arm´s length away. He regarded the blood on her clothes and face with disgust before scouring it with his wand. His own clothes, though, were too soiled to be cleaned this way.

“I need to change,” he said in a low voice and glanced at the fireplace.

“No, don´t go,” Rose begged, audible for everyone. Before Severus could hold her back, she wrapped once again her arms around him, this time around his neck and pulled him close. Her lips found his and Severus couldn´t summon a single reason why he shouldn´t give in. His arms encircled her waist and before long they stood entwined and kissing in the middle of the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, gawped at by everyone else in the room.

“You ruddy bastard!” Sirius yelled and launched forward, though gladly his way was blocked by the table and so Remus managed to catch him before he could reach Severus. “You fucked her for everyone to listen! You filthy child molester! I´ll kill you. Remus, let me go! Let me…”

“Shut up!” Remus shouted, ending in a definitive wolfish sounding growl. Sirius stilled and glanced confused at his lover. Then understanding dawned to him.

“You knew it. You knew it all the time. No wonder you suddenly all but worship this arsehole,” he spat and yanked his arm free. The hurt was obvious in his gaze and with a last withering gaze to Severus, Sirius turned and stormed out of the kitchen. 

“That was not exactly how you meant this to happen, was it?” Severus asked Rose, gazing after Sirius. But instead of answering, Rose tugged on his shirtfront and pulled him into another kiss. To hell with everyone who had objections against them. Rose had definitely enough of it and there was nothing she wanted to do more right now than what she already did.

Rose grinned as she parted, again sullied with the blood of someone else, but she didn´t care. She turned around and faced her family and friends. Her eyes narrowed into slits as she lifted her head challenging.

“Someone else who doesn´t agree with this?” she asked but added already with the next breath, “Because I really don´t care. I fought for this, harder than most of you can imagine and nothing you could say would deter me from being with this man. I love him and if you don´t like it you are free to ignore us because I will do so with everyone butting into my relationship.” With a last glance around the room she turned, threw Floo powder into the fire and dragged Severus along.

“Well, I guess she made clear what choice we have,” Arthur said. He patted soothingly Molly´s back and gazed to Remus. “And you knew it?”

“Yes, I knew. Rose asked me for help or more for an open ear. It **was** hard for her, but Severus loves her. He´d never hurt her intentionally. He´d literally would die for her. I can´t imagine two people who match better than they do,” Remus said with a smile and his blessing was apparently enough for everyone else to accept it. Though Molly looked not happy and Fred and George exchanged bewildered gazes before turning to Hermione and Ron.

“I´m afraid I need to calm Sirius,” Remus said into the silence and gazed to Dumbledore who still looked too pale but nodded and smiled again.

“We can´t do much at the moment, anyway. I need to see Kingsley and then we´ll come together again later on.”

***

Rose stumbled out of the fireplace and certainly would have found herself on the floor hadn´t it been for Severus. In a swift motion, he pulled her into his arms and without hesitating a second, apparated them into his bathroom. Rose gasped surprised, but even before she could utter a word, Severus sealed her mouth with his while his hands peeled her quick, yet with skilful delicacy, out of her clothes. He pushed her inside his shower, though Rose had again no time to say anything as Severus banished his clothes and followed her, attacking her mouth anew.

Rose shrieked as suddenly cold water poured down on her. She shivered and her skin was covered in goose bumps, but nothing seemed to distract Severus from kissing her because he never stopped, only tightened his arms around Rose´s waist, bringing her closer. The water turned warmer, almost hot and still Severus kissed her and held her firmly pressed against his body.

Rose reached blindly for the water tab and turned it off, twisting and bending in Severus´ grip until he let go. Only now she saw his gaze, haunted and scared. Her heart stuttered and she reached up to stroke tenderly over his cheek.

“Dumbledore finds a way to keep me, if not hidden, than at least safe.” She kissed him lightly, reassuring, and then took the soap and directed Severus to turn, starting to scrub his back and ending with lathering his hair. Severus sighed with clothed eyes and Rose could see the tension leaving his body the longer she massaged his head.

They kissed again until they were rinsed clean, the remnants of blood long flushed away. Severus was the first to leave the shower, dripping water all over the floor as he searched for a towel to give to Rose.

“A shame you have to wear clothes and then so many of them,” Rose said, leering, while her gaze roamed over Severus´ naked body. He returned the favour, sizing her up and slowly came closer. His hands gripped her hips as he dragged her to the floor with him, pulling her into his lap.

“Yes,” Rose gasped and lifted her hips.

“No one will hurt you as long as I´m around to prevent it,” Severus growled in a rush of possessiveness, but his voice turned into a deep moan as Rose sank back down, rocking her hips.

***

Still a little flushed and with wet hair, Rose and Severus returned to Grimmauld Place. The kitchen was considerably emptier but still occupied.

“Rose, dear,” Molly started, glancing unsure towards Severus.

“Please, spare us. I´m sure you mean well, but your concern isn´t necessary,” Rose cut in, silencing the older woman. “Where´s Sirius?”

“Still sulking somewhere. Remus tries to calm him,” Charlie said, nodding to the door.

Rose nodded too, released a heavy sigh and turned to leave.

“I´ll go and fetch them, you sit down,” Charlie demanded more than he offered and left before Rose could argue.

No one said anything. The others traded shy glances and Rose rolled repetitive her eyes until Severus took her hand and squeezed it.

Though the moment Charlie came back, followed by Remus who shoved Sirius ahead of him into the room, the calm waiting shifted into tense expectation.

“Why´s the greasy bastard here?” Sirius spat, his eyes twinkling furiously.

Before Rose could prevent it, Severus stood up, both hands braced on the table and glared at Sirius.

“Because we have to talk, you brain-deprived, stinking mutt,” he sneered with open disgust.

“Talk? About what? That I sanction that you stick your filthy Death Eater prick into my goddaughter?”

A unison gasp sounded through the room. Severus straightened and without another word crossed the three steps to the fireplace.

“Severus Tobias Snape, don´t you dare walk off on this!” Severus turned, Floo powder already in hand, and stared at Rose with utter puzzlement. “Oh don´t look like this, did you think I´d not know your full name?” Rose huffed, then added, “You will stop insulting my godfather, is that clear?” Rose didn´t wait for an answer but turned her annoyance to said godfather. “And you!” She pointed her index finger at him, rising finally from her chair. “You will stop insulting the man I love! You won´t have to love each other, Remus and I will take care of that respectively, but you fucking damn well will try to get along! And I promise you by every higher might if you don´t put some effort into it I´ll hex you both and you won´t be happy with the result!” With an angry snort she flopped back down in her chair, hissing, “Sit. Both of you.”

The whole room was silent, but then Severus shrugged, sat down next to Rose and kissed her cheek. “But of course, darling. Whatever you want,” he said sweetly and chanced a sly glance at Sirius who still stood at the door, positively seething.

“Sirius, please,” Rose begged softly.

Sirius gazed at Rose, but Remus pushed him forward and so he sat down with a sigh. “Fine. I´ll try.” He eyed Severus. “Blimey, Rose, how did that happen? And when?”

Rose chuckled. “Sirius, honestly, it just happened. Just think about how much time we spent together the last year, alone last summer.”

“You…You developed feelings for him last summer? And never told me?” Sirius asked blatantly obvious hurt.

“You would´ve hexed me. You hated even the idea of us getting along. How could I have told you that I´m in love with him?” Rose asked and lifted both hands as Sirius started to object. “Please, only an hour ago you threatened to kill Severus for exactly that reason. If I´d known you´d react more like Remus did, I had told you. We would´ve spared us a lot of fighting over the Christmas holidays. But I knew you´d explode and so I kept it from you.”

To everyone´s surprise, Severus cleared his throat and looked at Sirius, no longer hostile but still only remotely friendly.

“Black, I can understand that it chafes at you. We have a long history and I´m not even sure we can ever overcome it. But you have to believe me that I´d never willingly hurt Rose. Though I admit, it never would´ve come to that if Albus hadn´t insisted that I teach her again privately and therefore spend so much time with her. But it happened and I love her, with everything I am.”

Sirius stared over the table and then rubbed over his face. “Holy fucking crap,” he muttered and jumped up, chair clattering backwards to the floor. This time no one was fast enough to keep him from approaching Severus who had jumped up too, obviously ready to defend himself. Though the expected punch or hex never came, instead Sirius stopped short before Severus. He hesitated a second and then seized the other man at his forearm against his chest.

“I´ll swear to you, if you ever hurt her, I´ll free you from your miserable, petty life by ripping your throat out,” Sirius growled while holding Severus in a steely embrace. However, Severus didn´t even blink, only lifted his face a little higher and nodded.

“Fair enough.”

Sirius released him from his grip and both men regarded each other for a few silent seconds.

“I´ll have a word with Albus,” Sirius muttered.

“Good luck. He´s overly happy his scheme has played out like this,” Severus retorted with a snort.

The mood in the room brightened and conversations started again.

Remus shuffled over and smirked before he embraced Severus.

“I think we all need a drink,” he said and summoned a bottle and glasses.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Finally an update again :)  
> But apart from work it´s just too hot to sit down at the computer. Really, I´m afraid the circuits might melt or something when I use it at the moment not to mention that I might melt as well :D  
> But here you go, hope you like it.  
> Tell me what you think?

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

It was kind of funny afterwards. Rose watched amused how Severus and Sirius struggled to keep their promise and be at least something like civil towards each other. But the horrified looks on their faces as she kissed both on the cheek and said then that they now were family was simply amazing.

Though, the happy atmosphere didn´t last long. At seven o´clock, an owl rushed into the kitchen, scattering feathers all over the room before dropping the evening print of the Prophet on the table.

Rose grasped for it, but Severus was quicker. His eyes scurried over the front page.

“Kingsley is now officially the new Minister of Magic. They swore him into office this afternoon,” he said, adding half loud, “Poor bastard.” All around sounded agreeing murmurs. Kingsley had for sure no easy job, not now with escaping Death Eaters to deal with first thing in his incumbency.

“What about Bellatrix?” Remus asked, stopping to fill cups with fresh tea.

“Has disappeared but obviously managed to stop and kill more Aurors. She freed Dolohov and Yaxley.” Severus glanced at Rose. Her gaze was fixed on the newspaper in his hands, staring at the grinning face of Magnus Avery. She was pale and trembling. Severus folded the Prophet and put it out of sight before wrapping Rose into his arms. “I´m here. I´ll let him not hurt you again,” he murmured into her hair.

To this scene came Dumbledore into the kitchen, shortly followed by the newly appointed Minister Shacklebolt and, to everyone´s surprise, Lucius Malfoy. Narcissa let out a sound of surprise and flew into her husband's arms. Rose watched the scene oddly moved, but thinking about it, Narcissa hadn´t seen Lucius in over a year. Severus watched too, but finally let go of Rose and walked to Dumbledore, whispering. Dumbledore nodded, though after a sideways glance to the reunited Malfoy's he delayed his announcement and nursed first a cuppa. But then he rose from his chair again, clearing his throat for attention.

“We have a plan for the further proceeding,” he announced and everyone fell silent. “Sadly it is true that Rose isn´t safe anymore. Lucius confirmed that Bellatrix can trace her wherever she will be, so the only advantage we have is to choose the place of the definitely occurring attack. However, Bellatrix can detect Rose only as long as her Trace is active, what is the case for the next two weeks. We are certain the attack will take place in that window of time, though we can´t determine the date more exactly. Everything we can do is prepare and try to be ready. Therefore, everyone will go now and pack up, you´re leaving Grimmauld Place.”

“Why?” Sirius asked.

“Grimmauld Place is no location for a fight. And entirely too close to civilisation. I want to keep the collateral damage as small as possible.” Dumbledore glanced to Lucius. “Lucius offered his help.”

“Right. My mother´s family possesses an estate outside of London. Within several kilometres, you find nothing but meadows and fields. The house is big enough for all of you but at the same time well-structured and easily to defend. As are the grounds.” Lucius Malfoy looked from Dumbledore to the other assembled people in the room, last of all Rose. “It won´t be easy and I can´t come back again to warn you beforehand but you have the better chances. We are in no good condition. Being on the run claims its toll on everyone and those recently freed from the claws of the Dementors are in even worse condition. You can end this if you stay alert.” His gaze had never wavered and Rose felt a cold shiver run down her spine. At a loss for words she only nodded. She suspected that Draco´s father was maybe even more eager than she to put an end to all of this. Certainly he wanted to come home to his family and find his peace with the world, though even that might be difficult. Unless Dumbledore would vouch for him and attest that he had worked as a spy for the Order.

“However, I need to go back.”

“You can´t simply go back, can you?” Severus asked with raised eyebrows. Lucius was not in the same position he had been in all those years.

“No, not like this. Bellatrix saw how the Aurors caught me. Tragically it is not believable that I escaped unscathed.” Lucius exchanged a meaningful glance with Severus who suddenly stepped back.

“No. Why don’t you ask one of your captivators, I´m sure they oblige happily.” He took a second step back, away from Lucius.

Rose frowned, somehow the meaning of this exchange eluded her, though seemingly only her. The rest of the group followed the conversation in tense silence. Narcissa shook her head, tears streaming down her face as she pressed Draco against her side, holding on to him as if she might lose balance otherwise.

Severus closed his eyes and turned with a brief shake of his head away. Dumbledore held him back at his arm.

“You´re the only one who can do that.”

“Oh, am I?” Severus spat. “Only because you don´t want to dirty your hands. It´s all fine and dandy as long as others do the horrid work for you!” Severus regarded Dumbledore with an icy stare.

“I don´t trust anyone of them to do it right,” Lucius said almost pleadingly, gazing through the room before his eyes stopped at Severus again. “Come on old friend, impress Bella. You know how to do it right.”

Severus curled his lips in a silent snarl and turned his back to the room. He took two steps towards the door, halted, took another two steps, halted again as if seized by an invisible force and then spun around without warning, hissing a word. The curse hit Lucius unprepared square in the chest, flinging him across the room into the wall. His head made contact with the stones with a nasty cracking sound and Lucius slid half unconscious to the floor.

Narcissa screamed and scrambled forwards, but before she could reach her husband, Draco pulled her back. Just in time because Severus had the next hex ready. He stalked rigidly through the room with cold, unmoved expression, sending spell after spell ahead. And then he reached his old friend. He knelt beside him, gripped his shirtfront and lifted him into a sitting position. He hesitated for a split second before his fist crashed into Lucius´ face, decorating it with cuts, blood and bruises.

Then, as suddenly as he had begun, Severus stopped. It took three “Rennervate” for Lucius to regain consciousness and even though he groaned with pain and blood oozed from the gash on his chest, he nodded and managed a faint smile.

“That´s it,” he mumbled and spit some blood on the floor. Severus helped him to his feet, his face still blank and void of any emotion, bar the icy, raging expression in his eyes. As Lucius stood on his own feet, unsupported though swaying, Severus turned to Dumbledore.

“Satisfied?” he grated out, so coldly Rose actually shivered, though Dumbledore on the other side didn´t even grimace but nodded silently.

Severus snorted and without further look around swept from the room.

Rose staggered forward. She ignored the bloody form of Lucius Malfoy and stalked over to the Headmaster. “You are a despicable person!” she said in a furious whisper and hurried after Severus, failing to see the crumpled expression on Dumbledore's face.

Rose found Severus in the backyard, retching onto the only green spot that dared to sprout in this otherwise gaunt place. Rose inched closer and touched cautiously his shoulder, but Severus spun around, glaring enraged.

“Don´t touch me!” he snapped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes wide with overly dilated pupils.

Rose inched closer. Not that she ever had done what Severus had wanted from her. So it shouldn´t be that surprising for him that she closed the distance between them again. Still, his eyes went even wider as she did so and then closed as if it pained him to see her reaching up and cupping his cheek with her hand. A tremour went through Severus' body at the contact and Rose wrapped him into her arms.

“I hate to do that. I´m only a puppet. Every time. That´s not me,” Severus whispered into her hair and after the words had left his mouth he started shaking in earnest. Rose pulled him to the ground with her while he clung to her and sobbed dryly, without a single tear but all the time repeating that he was not that man she´d seen down in the kitchen.

***

The estate, Lucius had spoken of, was a smaller villa in the middle of nowhere. The house per se was old and not well-maintained but habitable. At once their group of people scattered throughout the house. It had become late meanwhile and everyone searched quickly for a place to sleep, but of course that brought only all too soon another argument.

“You won´t sleep with him in the same room!” Sirius shouted across the entrance hall at Rose.

“And what exactly do you plan to do against it?” Rose retorted.

“If necessary I´ll chain you up next to my bed,” Sirius snipped.

Rose snorted. “Good Lord, and then I have to listen to you and Remus fucking every night?”

Remus shifted uncomfortably from one leg to the other, his cheeks turning a soft pink as he glanced at Sirius who paled in outright anger.

“Rose, it´s all right. I´ll take the sofa in the parlour,” Severus intervened calmly and placed a hand on Rose´s shoulder, but Rose shrugged him off.

“A fuck you are doing,” she hissed and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards Sirius. “Dare as much as to say another word against it and I´ll make you regret it,” she spat at passing and dragged Severus upstairs, closing the door to her room with a loud thud.

She flung her backpack in one corner and flopped face first onto the bed, groaning in frustration.

The mattress dipped down and a warm weight settled between her shoulder blades. Rose rolled around, Severus´ hand slid around her and came to rest on one breast, though it stayed not long as Severus trailed upwards and caressed her neck, bending low to kiss her softly on the brow.

“You shouldn´t start fights like this. The resulting bad mood isn´t worth it,” he said and settled next to Rose, cradling her into his arms. Rose closed her eyes and would´ve most likely drifted into sleep if not an angry voice in the next room roused her again.

“Don´t you tell me what I can think or not!” Sirius shouted banging the door close. Silence followed. Rose looked to Severus who raised an eyebrow which crawled higher up as Sirius restarted his tirade. Remus had obviously contributed his opinion.

“No, I don´t think she´s old enough to make such a decision! She´s still a child for Merlin´s sake! And that greasy bastard could be her father. Don´t laugh at me! Remus, I don´t get why you support that. He sexualises her.”

“Sirius Orion Black, that's really enough now! Rose is her own person and you can´t decide for her whom she loves! Stop pouting. You promised her to try, so do try!” Remus had apparently reached the end of his patience. He was such a calm man he only barely shouted. But this display of rare temper seemed not to impress Sirius.

“I swear if I find out he fucks her it will be the last time he has the equipment for it,” he groused, still loud enough to be heard through the wall.

“Ha,” Rose huffed. “Just like that?” She crawled over the bed to the wall. “Oh…Oh god yes! Yes. Again! Severus, ooooh…” she moaned with her cheek pressed against the wall but only until Severus grabbed her from behind and pulled her away, one hand clasped over her mouth.

“Are you mental?” he hissed. But in the other room it has gotten silent. So they must have heard her. Severus took his hand away. Rose, however, used that moment to moan loudly, falling back on the bed and end up in a fit of giggles.

“Stop it!” Severus pressed his hand again over her mouth. “You're childish.”

Rose arched an eyebrow, saying muffled, “Am I?” The hand on her face disappeared, but hovered in reachable proximity. “Why´s that?”

“Do you have to ask? Honestly?” Severus stood up, turning away for a moment. “I wonder how clever you think that behaviour when your godfather carries out his threat. Do never think he wouldn´t hurt me only because you threaten him.” Severus' voice was cold and angry but instead of feeling intimidated, Rose only grew angry herself.

“So you cower before him? Well, that´s new, isn´t it?” She pushed herself up into a sitting position, looking up mockingly.

Severus sneered. “I haven´t said anything like that. I merely want you to think about your actions and the resulting consequences. Something you ignore entirely too often and readily. With always dramatic or disastrous results.” 

“Oh great, so now we talk about some of my ill-advised actions. Come on, say it. Actions where I risked my life and you think you had to save my arse. Funny how we came from sex and Sirius to this!” Rose shook her head, she really had no idea how the conversation had turned this way.

“Some? Most of your decisions are ill advised. Pursuing a relationship with me is certainly one of them,” he said mirthless and pressed his lips into a tight line.

Rose swallowed before she fixed Severus with a calculating stare. “That sounds terribly like you regret it. Maybe you should elaborate on the topic. Tell me that you now see what a terrible mistake you made to get involved with a child.” She stood up too. And even though her voice had been daring, fear had gripped her insides and turned them slowly into ice. She had to move to keep the feeling at bay. Still, Rose shivered and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“You do behave like one,” Severus said evenly. He regarded Rose with a frown that turned quickly into a scowl, though, as she lifted her chin defiantly.

“I bet you thought different as you were balls deep inside of me, groaning and moaning with pleasure, for the whole school to listen to!”

Severus kept silent, only stared at Rose from under now furrowed brows. Without warning he turned and tore the door open.

“Yes, by all means. Run away from this. **That** is really mature! So much more than I could ever be. You know what? I, at least, talk about my problems!” Rose shouted. Severus stopped midstride in the hallway, standing ridgid with his head held high.

“Problems you´d never have if you for once would think things through!” he tossed back over his shoulder and then turned on the spot and disappeared with a crack.

Rose stayed in the doorway, shaking. She was so angry, foremost with herself but then also with Sirius.

Some doors along the corridor opened. Rose´s face burnt with shame. Just perfect. Of course everyone had listened. She swirled around. If she´d worn one of Severus´ robes it would´ve flapped rather dramatically with her motion. Rose scoffed about the thought. The door fell close behind her and Rose crossed the room, looking out of the window.

Outside her room, she heard a muffled conversation and then a timid knock at her door.

She didn´t answer. She had absolutely no desire to see anyone. But of course her wish was ignored.

“Rose?” Remus asked, peering through the gap between door and wall.

Rose didn´t turn around. She leant her forehead against the window and sighed. Without being asked if it is ok with her, Remus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her firmly against him. But it was ok, as it always was and anyway, Rose wouldn´t have fought it. Remus always managed to calm her. And, really, how could she leave this incredibly comfortable, warm embrace when she felt so cold at the moment?

“The worst is, he´s right,” she whispered and turned in Remus´ arms, burying her face in his chest and mumbling into his cardigan, “I make bad decisions and they always have terrible results. And how hypocritical am I anyway? Talking about problems? That´s certainly not what I´m doing. I hid for weeks and slowly broke down under the weight of it.”

“You know,” Remus started and cupped Rose´s face to lift her gaze towards him, “What he said…Your fight was not about your fake moans.”

“I know, but I either don´t know what we fought about then.”

“I think Severus is simply stressed out. He´s afraid. He worries about your safety which we can´t guarantee. And we all know you do tend to ill-advised and rash decisions.”

“Perfect, so you discussed that already?” Rose snapped and wriggled out of Remus´ arms.

“Albus fears Bellatrix might use Severus as bait to get to you and that you take it willingly to safe him on your own as to not risk everyone else´s life.” Remus held his hand up to stop Rose from objecting. “We both know that is exactly what you do. Just think about last year. You did not ask for help, you simply rushed to the Ministry and tried to save the day on your own.”

Rose chewed on her lip, looking sheepishly up at Remus.

“Is that why he said my decision to be with him is foolish?”

“I guess so. But stop worrying about it. Let him calm down and then talk it out,” Remus said with a quick nod. He gazed for two or three seconds silently at her, then bent forward and placed a small kiss on the corner of her mouth.

***

Rose woke as her blanket was lifted and someone crawled into the bed next to her. Warm skin pressed against her own and an arm came around, encircling her body and bringing her even closer to the other person. The familiar and by now comforting scent of potions, wood and liquorice invaded her nose and she shuddered with pleasure. He came back to her.

“I´m sorry, love,” Severus whispered into Rose´s neck.

“Me too. I promise to stay safe. I won´t do anything stupid,” Rose whispered back. Severus rolled her around and crawled above her, looking intently down. His dark eyes glittered in the faint light of the half-moon.

“I was afraid to come back. I was sure Bellatrix would´ve chosen exactly the time of my absence to attack and then our last conversation would´ve been a fight,” he confessed lowly and leant his forehead against hers.

“I was afraid you wouldn´t come back at all,” Rose said and then neither of them said anything as their lips met. Their kiss was soft and without haste, coaxing them slowly into deeper kisses as their tongues danced languorously around each other. The warmth of growing arousal ignited more urgent kissing and hands stroked and kneaded every small part of the other body they could find and reach.

“Rose…” Severus sighed and hooked one of her legs over his hip.

They kept it slow like their kiss had been, rocking against each other and gasping softly between kisses which were barely more than lips sliding against each other.

But they stopped both, frozen into place, as a long, whimpered moan sounded from the room next to theirs. Rose glanced over her head at the wall and then groaned as the tell-tale thud of a bed hitting a wall sounded through their room, quickly followed by moans which became louder with each crash from bed against wall.

Severus hadn´t moved at all since the first sounds from Remus and Sirius had penetrated their room and he groaned, half aroused half annoyed, as Rose canted her hips just as the two men on the other side of the wall became even more vocal.

“Fuck…Remus…That´s it…Oh, gods…” Sirius spluttered followed by several throaty growls from Remus.

“Ignore them. Gods, whatever, but move,” Rose urged and rolled her hips up, pressing herself into Severus and wringing a moan from him. He rocked forward only to stop immediately.

Rose opened her eyes, an argument ready to spill, but Severus came up to his knees and lifted Rose´s hips. Rose grinned and brought her legs around his waist as he sank forward.

It was like a strange duel. Each moan from one side of the wall was echoed by louder ones from the other side. Soon there were two beds hitting the same wall and a mingled cacophony of moans, gasps and babbled nonsense.

Rose trembled and then a shudder ran through her body as Remus´ last moan echoed in her ears, resounding in her own moan.

“Oh fuck, Rose…I can´t…” Severus gripped her hips harder, pumping into her and they both knew he wouldn´t keep up until she was ready too, no matter how desperate her hand stroked to reach her own release. And then Severus almost howled as he buried himself deep inside her, spilling his release. Rose convulsed and clenched around him, though still not ready. But Severus leant back and replaced her hand with his and as if the other hand, that was not her own, was the last straw, Rose cried out, shuddering as her orgasm rocked her in waves.

The silence that followed was almost deafening. Severus rolled to his side next to Rose. They looked at each other. Rose swallowed and then giggled. Her eyes watered with the effort to stay quiet, but it was no use, she couldn´t keep her laughter low and finally she pressed her face into Severus´ chest and stayed there until she´d sobered again.

***

To describe the next morning as awkward was the understatement of the century. Rose opened the door the same moment Sirius stepped out of the other. He froze for a few seconds and then, obviously biting his tongue, glared over Rose´s shoulder at Severus and all but sprinted downstairs. Remus appeared then too, glanced at Rose and Severus and looked away, blushing right to the tips of his ears.

But it got even worse as they all entered one after the other the kitchen. The talking immediately ceased as all eyes darted towards them. Molly turned around and waved her spoon at them, spraying bits of scrambled eggs around the kitchen.

“Honestly! Has no one of you ever heard of a silencing charm?” she chided, adding, “I for my part could do without such noise, keeping me from my well-earned sleep.”

Rose felt her face heat up and it got even hotter as no one seemed interested in looking away. She glanced to Severus. His cheeks showed the faintest hint of pink, but except that he appeared like he always did, controlled and self-centred, imperturbable bordering on indifferent. Rose envied his composed appearance. Remus´ cheeks glowed like Rose´s and he lowered his gaze to the table, fiddling with the still empty cup in front of him. Only Sirius pouted sulkily and already started shovelling breakfast into his mouth.

“I still can´t believe it,” Fred said, eying Rose with open curiosity, quite like she´d be a rare specimen of any kind and he couldn´t decide if he was disgusted or intrigued.

“Believe what?” Rose inquired, immensely proud that her voice didn´t waver.

“That you really ditched me for Snape.” All eyes flew again towards Rose, though this time also those of Severus, Remus and Sirius.

“You twist the truth. I never ditched you. I simply didn´t allow you to kiss me.” She grinned and, hoping the matter was done with it, reached for the coffee.

“I remember quite well snogging you breathless,” Fred pursued, a wicked grin spreading over his face.

Rose stopped pouring milk into her coffee and peered across the table.

“I was drunk and maybe you forget that you fled afterwards because you recognised your feelings for someone else.” Rose gave Fred a pointed look. Until now no one knew about the relationship with Hermione and, given her pleading looks, they planned to keep it that way for some time longer.

“So, is there someone else, you haven´t mentioned yet?” Severus asked, regarding Rose with narrowed eyes. But Rose smiled and leant over.

“No one but you,” she breathed and kissed him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)  
> I know the gaps between postings are bigger than usual and I´d love to update more often, but honestly I have no time. So I hope it´s not too bad for you ;)  
> But here now the next chapter. I know you wait for news of Bellatrix. Here it is.

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The days flew by with nothing in particular to do. Rose alternated her days with lying lazy in the sun, enjoying spending as much time with Severus as she wanted and talking to her friends and tried not to think too much about the imminent threat.

“Sirius seems not likely to accept them any time soon,” Ron said and grinned to the bench in front of the house.

“As if he really could do anything about it,” Draco said and shrugged.

Rose peered over too, smiling at the picture. Severus, in his white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, sat next to Remus who, for an exception, wore no cardigan. They seemed deep in conversation while Sirius shot them repeatedly nasty looks from his sunbathing place on the ground a few steps away but kept quiet.

“I´m glad they befriended each other. Sirius can sulk as long as he wants.” But Rose knew her godfather already crumpled and once or twice she´d seen him and Severus talk to each other without Remus in any proximity and they managed a civil tone without too much sneering and scoffing. So there was hope at last.

Rose turned back around and looked up at the sky. She liked the Greengrass Estate which it was as Rose had found out after speaking with Narcissa who´d explained that Lucius´ mother had been Elaina Greengrass. Quite obviously poorblood families were all related to some point. Spooky that.

But no matter how nice it was here, it was not as homey as the Burrow was and no one knew how much more time they had to spend here. Waiting made everyone jittery and it got worse with each passing day. Dumbledore dropped by every other day to share news, though there weren´t much. No new outbreaks and beside that also no information about Bellatrix, her whereabouts or what her next move would be.

Rose had a bad conscience, not only because everyone with her was like a prisoner to the Estate with the wards only spanning the house and yard, but also because Bill and Fleur had delayed their wedding and at least Fleur seemed rather narked about it, to put it mildly.

However, the waiting seemed to come to a sudden stop in the night from July 28th to 29th.

It was four minutes after 3 in the middle of the night as the alarm of the wards went off. Severus sat immediately bold upright in bed and jumped out of it, grasping for clothes even before Rose had completely opened her eyes.

Together they sprinted downstairs as the main doors burst open and Bill and Charlie stormed inside, followed by bright spells.

“It´s them. But Bellatrix brought backup. I saw Greyback and at least two other Werewolfs,” Bill informed the quickly gathered group.

Rose looked at Remus who´d paled visibly as an ear-splitting explosion hit the walls of the villa.

“We need to get out of here!” Severus shouted above the noise.

Once outside, everything became a blur of running people, flying spells and shouts. Rose felt disorientated and though she´d promised to stay close to Severus they soon got separated. She stumbled out of the way of a stray hex as she felt someone behind her. It made her hairs stand on end and even without seeing him, she knew with absolute certainty who it was.

“Oi birdie,” the voice from Rose´s nightmares rasped into her ear. The hot breath on her skin paralysed her and panic bubbled inside her. Big, paw-like hands stroked almost gently over her stomach. One plugged her wand from her numb fingers while the other descended between her legs. Rose wanted to scream, but her body won´t react, won´t obey her. With wide eyes, she saw Severus. His frantic gaze roamed over the yard, she was sure to hear him call out her name.

Avery´s hand slid past the waistband of her shorts the same moment Severus spotted them, the same moment Rose finally willed her solidified muscles into movement. Her head fell forward as in defeat and she heard Avery´s pleased, husky chuckle, but then Rose snapped her head back. It hurt more than she´d expected, but the crunching sound of breaking bones was reward enough to oversee her own pain. Avery stumbled backwards and before he had found his balance again, Severus had stupefied him.

“Rose!” Severus shouted and seconds later wrapped his arms around her.

“I´m ok. I…I´m ok,” Rose gasped breathless and glanced at Avery who lay sprawled a few steps away, blood trickling from his broken nose.

“Come with meeeargh,” Severus screamed as a curse hit him between the shoulder blades. He toppled over, sending Rose flying to the ground.

“Severus,” Bellatrix called in a singsong. “Oh my dear Severus.” 

Without warning and even before he´d fully turned around, Severus shot a spell towards Bellatrix, missing her only by millimetres.

She answered him in the same fashion and an almost silent duel ensued, only interrupted by Severus´ angry huffs and Bellatrix mad cackling laughter. Rose watched like in trance. She´d never seen Severus fight and it was breath taking. He moved with such elegance and facility. His face was determined and his eyes blazed while spell after spell left silently his wand. Rose was so enthralled that she didn´t notice Bellatrix duck away and leap at her until it was too late. With a triumphant cry, Bellatrix wrapped one arm around Rose and pressed the tip of her wand at her throat.

“Tut tut, Severus. Stay still or I´ll kill her immediately,” Bellatrix said softly. Slowly she walked backwards.

The whole battle seemed to freeze while Bellatrix dragged Rose in the middle of the yard.

“No one moves. Or your sweet saviour will be only smoke and ashes.”

Rose gulped. Why the hell hadn´t she picked up her wand? How stupid was that?

Bellatrix moved her hand from around Rose´s waist and buried it in her hair instead, gripping it tight and yanking her around. Rose saw the panic in Severus´ eyes before her whole vision was filled by Bellatrix´ grinning face.

“I hope you brought some time along. I´m afraid it won´t be fast and definitely not painless, my sweet.” 

“Leave her be!” Severus shouted, but was terrified to do more with three wands pointed at himself but worse, Rose trapped in Bellatrix´ claws.

Rose saw Bellatrix´ grin broaden about Severus´ desperation.

“Anyone, please, shut him up. But **don´t** stupefy him. I want him to watch,” Bellatrix giggled. What followed was a short commotion as several Oder members tried to break through the circle of Death Eaters that had formed around Bellatrix and Rose. But every defence ceased as Rose screamed.

Bellatrix had only whispered. The curse had slipped so soft past her lips it was almost inaudible, but the effect was immediate and Rose felt like burning alive as the pain spread through her body. Bellatrix took every now and then a break, whispering sweet little things into Rose´s ear only to torture her again with never ending pain. Rose had no idea how long it was until Bellatrix released her again, but long enough that in the meantime the fight had started again. Rose stayed sprawled on the ground, heaving lungs full of air into her aching body. Bellatrix crouched next to her. She smiled and stroked the hair out of Rose´s face.

“You really are beautiful, my sweet, even more so with blood colouring your face. I think I can understand now Severus´ desire to have you.” She grinned and without warning, Rose´s body convulsed under the onslaught of a new curse. The high-pitched cry, leaving her throat, hurt even her own ears.

***

Severus shook violently. Rose´s screams were something almost alive. They crawled into his ears, clawed its way inside of him and devoured his heart. Every time Bellatrix stopped the curse the screams rang further in his head, manifested itself in his mind and he was sure he´d never in his whole life would have one day he´d not hear it resound.

Until now, no one had dared to attack the circle of Death Eaters around Bellatrix and Rose. Time seemed like frozen as everyone watched in horror. And Rose screamed yet again.

Severus´ chest heaved under the force of his breathing. He looked up, his wand held in a white knuckled death grip. Remus met his gaze. His expression set in a mask of determination and as if on a secret sign they launched. Remus collided with Greyback, knocking the fierce monster to the ground. Their fight was none fought with wands but with hands and teeth, clawing, biting, punching and ripping at the opponent. Severus himself had blown the Carrow´s from their feet and dashed further forward, every single thought focused on Rose. The rigour of the others seemed broken as those first two moved into action and the fight started anew, with more fervour then before.

And then finally the backup appeared. Aurors swarmed the yard and joined the fight. Bellatrix cackled madly with glee, unperturbed by her captured fellows. She had released Rose from her painful ordeal just to substitute it with another as she sliced her open with a “Sectumsempra” which she more sighed than spoke. The expression on her face was purely mad. Even as Severus pointed his wand at her, she laughed. And then, faster than Severus could react, Bellatrix´ wand whipped through the air, a silent spell leaving its tip, but it wasn´t directed towards him. She stared at Severus but had aimed at Rose. Everything inside Severus froze, but the curse never reached Rose. Lucius Malfoy launched himself between the spell and Rose just as Severus regained his wits and attacked Bellatrix with a violet whirlwind. But the woman was fast, faster than she appeared on first sight, and spun around.

Severus growled and chased Bellatrix through the chaos around them.

***

Rose groaned and tried to keep her eyes on Severus. Her whole bode was so numb from pain she could barely turn her head. She felt herself again and again drift into unconsciousness. Only the triumphant cry from Bellatrix awoke her enough to turn her head in the direction of the sound. Rose´s heart stuttered and time seemed to slow down while her brain jumped from thought to thought and came to conclusions with the speed of a lightning bolt.

Severus lay on the ground, his wand out of reach and Bellatrix stood above him, her murderous expression speaking volumes for itself. Rose breathed through the pain, tried to banish the dizziness. There was a wand, no more than twenty centimetres away. If she could only stretch enough…

It cost her everything she had left to come up on all four, her head spun and her vision blurred, getting dark on the edges. Blood dripped on the ground, mingled with the dust to dark clumps. Her breath came in ragged, wheezing puffs, but she slid her fingers over the ground and grasped the wand. It was Lucius´, she´d seen it before in the Ministry, though she had no time and no energy left to look for the man and why exactly his wand lay so close to her.

Rose took a breath, as deep as her battered body allowed, and pushed herself upright. The pain almost caused her to black out, but she tightened her fingers around the wand and concentrated only on her aim.

“Expelliarmus,” Rose mouthed, unrecognisable to anyone but herself, and collapsed forward. There was no much intent behind the spell and it was badly aimed. Bellatrix´ wand only jerked in her hand, but it was enough to distract her for a split-second. Long enough for Severus to roll around and grasp for his wand. Long enough for him to aim at Bellatrix. Long enough that the green light, that had already filled too many of Rose´s nightmares, left his wand and hit Bellatrix.

Severus didn´t stay to see Bellatrix hit the ground. He spun around and fell to his knees on Rose´s side.

“Rose!”

Rose blinked her eyes open. Seeing Severus made breathing easier. She felt warm all of a sudden. Light. As light as if she could float away.

“Vulnera senentur. Vulnera senentur. Vulnera senentur,” Severus whispered, his wand tracing the gash over Rose´s abdomen.

Rose heard the clatter of a wand falling to the ground and then she felt herself be cradled in strong arms. The warmth spreading through her body intensified. She smiled. What would she give to touch Severus right now. His face was so close. She felt his breath on her cheek. But she couldn´t lift even one finger. Her eyelids grew heavier. She´d close them only for a moment, just long enough for the sleepiness to vanish. Only a moment.

“Rose. Stay awake. Rose. You hear me? Stay awake. Don´t leave me. Stay with me,” Severus´ desperate voice was the last she heard before her body shut down and darkness enveloped her.


	4. Chapter 4

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The first time Rose regained consciousness was to the steady hissing of whispering voices. Her eyelids felt as if weighted down with a full grown dragon and a heavy tiredness lay upon her muscles. Unable to do anything else, she listened to the conversation for a while. Obviously they´d made it and the trials would begin soon. How long was she here already? Where was here, anyway? Possibly St. Mungo´s. At least it smelled like that: potions, salves and antiseptics.

The atmosphere and topic changed immediately as a Healer came into the room and everyone asked about news.

Someone shifted at Rose´s bedside, came closer and took her hand. If she´d be able to she´d smiled. Severus was here.

“If you´d let me through I could tell you more,” said an obviously irritated woman. Rose rolled inwardly her eyes.

“Step away,” the woman added to someone, standing now closer to Rose.

“No, I´m staying right here. Do we really have to discuss this every time?” Severus asked in a drawl. He seemed bored, but Rose heard the tiredness in his voice. How often had this particular exchange occurred already to leave him this fed up with it?

The Healer huffed, but then Rose felt magic tingle over her body while Severus still held her hand. A sudden pain rushed through her and she groaned, but it helped her also to open her eyes, at least wide enough to squint into the room.

Said room was dim, thank goodness, and the place around her bed was crowded. Worried faces were turned towards her. Sirius looked pale and tired, with huge bags under his eyes and the stubble of his beard shading his jaw. Remus stood at his side, one arm around his waist. He looked as if he´d originally was about to leave.

Rose ´s gaze shifted to Severus as he pushed the Healer aside. He ignored the woman´s indignant spluttering and bent down.

“Rose?” he asked in little more than a breath and touched her cheek, tenderly stroking her.

Rose focused on his face, but with the pain ceasing, she felt tired again. Anyway, she couldn´t answer. Her throat felt too parched, somewhat raw. She blinked two times and then her eyes wouldn´t obey her any longer and stayed closed.

The next time she woke, it was silent in her room, except for the occasional rustle of paper. So obviously, she wasn´t alone. Far quicker and easier than the last time she prised her eyes open and looked around. Someone sat at her bedside, nose buried deep in a book. Had she not recognised that it was a man she´d thought it was Hermione, but there was only one other person with such a passion for written words.

Rose tried to speak, but the name was unrecognisable mutilated, though the man holding vigil at her side lifted his head as she groaned. He moved closer.

“Rose!” Seeing him from so close, Rose noticed the tired lines on Remus´ face as well as new scars, weaving their way from his jaw down his throat to disappear behind the collar of his button-down shirt.

Rose swallowed and tried again, croaking finally, “Remus.”

For a brief moment he disappeared out of sight, but as he came back he put first her glasses on her face and then held a cup to her lips. The liquid was viscous and sweet and Rose felt it sooth her throat immediately.

“Thank you.” Rose smiled.

“How are you?” Remus asked and pulled his chair closer. He took her hand in his and held it tight, a steep line of worry appearing between his brows.

“Dunno. Wrecked.” She managed a shrug but winced as her stiff muscles protested. “Where´s everyone?”

“Home. We take turns staying with you. Severus left about an hour ago but only because I threatened to hex him,” Remus said with a weak smile.

“Turns,” Rose mumbled. “How long…”

“Two weeks,” he interrupted her.

Two weeks? That was impossible. How could it be two weeks?

Remus seemed to sense her confusion and squeezed her hand gently then stroked his thumb over the back of it.

“What do you remember?”

Rose closed her eyes. Too much. Could she choose she wouldn´t remember anything.

“Bellatrix. She used the Cruciatus on me. I thought I´d go mad, but then she changed her tactics. I was so weak already. Severus was there and I think Lucius Malfoy. I found his wand. Bellatrix had disarmed Severus, she would´ve killed him. I tried to disarm her. And then there was Severus. He mumbled something and I felt so good, warm and light and sleepy. And next I´m here.” Rose frowned. Quite obvious she missed some details while unconscious.

Remus nodded sombre.

“Bellatrix tried to kill you, but Lucius stepped between you and the spell.” He paused and Rose knew exactly what he´d say next and shook her head.

“I´m sorry. He didn´t survive. The Healers could only attest his death as they arrived at the Estate.”

Rose clasped one hand over her mouth. Oh god, Draco. Now she was the reason he´d lost his father. And Narcissa had been so nice to her…

“Draco bears it with fortitude. He helps Narcissa a lot. Though, as I understand, he and his father weren´t that close. Don´t worry, no one thinks it´s your fault. Actually, everyone praises his bravery. He saved your life after all.” 

Rose couldn´t say anything and simply squeezed Remus´ hand.

“You on the other side saved Severus. You distracted Bellatrix enough that he got his wand back and he…he killed her.”

Rose nodded and gestured for Remus to go on.

“You lost a lot of blood. Severus healed the wound on your belly and stopped the bleeding of your ears,” he cast an uneasy glance at Rose, “but you were so weak. He pleaded with you to stay awake, but you couldn´t. I wasn´t conscious either at the moment, but everyone says Severus panicked as you stopped responding. He didn´t even wait for the emergency Healers to arrive but apparated you to St. Mungo´s. He sat at your side around the clock for the first three days. Only then Molly convinced him to go home at last and change into fresh clothes. He came back immediately after and resumed his position at you bedside.”

“I woke and Severus, Sirius and you were here and then came this dreadful woman.”

Remus chuckled. “Healer Cartwright, yes, she´s a little special. But she knows what she´s doing. That you woke was only two days ago.” Remus expression turned agonised. “They´d told us we shouldn´t keep our hopes too high that you´d be better. They weren´t even sure if you´d wake up at all. Severus was livid and all about to talk Sirius into bringing you home so he could see himself to a treatment for you.”

Rose swallowed. How close she´d come to die…Again.

For a moment they both fell silent until Rose remembered, “Two weeks? I missed my birthday.” She felt a pang of regret about the thought but Remus only chuckled.

“Yes, but I´m sure Molly will insist on organizing a proper party for you.”

“I think I´d like that.” Rose smiled fondly, but while thinking about her surrogate mother, her eyes fell back on Remus´ new scars. “You said you´ve been unconscious,” she said suddenly sober again, nodding at his neck.

“I tackled Greyback to the ground. Now I see it was a bad idea, really. I wasn´t entirely inferior, but I can´t say that I would´ve won either if Sirius hadn´t scorched him. I shared this room with you for a few days and of course the scars will remain.” For a second Remus scrunched his face in disgust but then he shrugged.

“I´m so sorry, Remus.”

“Don´t you worry. I´m fine. No one left this fight unscathed, but at least we lost no one.” He patted her hand, smiling.

“Except Malfoy,” Rose whispered. She had no idea why she was so touched by that. She couldn’t even stand the arrogant bastard. But then again, he´d saved her life. And Draco was a good friend. “What happened with the other Death Eaters?”

“Everyone was caught. They await their trials.” Remus said, but interestingly he didn´t met Rose´s eyes.

“What aren´t you telling me?” Rose sat up, wincing, and narrowed her eyes at Remus.

“Nothing what should trouble you…” he said evasively.

“Remus, please,” Rose pleaded and grasped his hand, squeezing it.

Remus sighed and finally said, “Everyone was caught, except Greyback and Avery.”

Rose´s eyes widened and Remus hurried to add, “Don´t worry. Neither of them would try anything. They´re in no position to harm you.”

They lapsed into silence again. Rose felt panic swell and subdue inside her while she tried to believe Remus´ words. Avery couldn´t get her. She was safe. Why didn´t she feel safe then?

“When can I go home?” Rose asked finally.

“I don´t know. Let´s alert Healer Cartwright about your state of awakening,” Remus said with a soft smile and stood up. But before he left, he bent down and kissed the top of Rose´s head, his lips lingered a second before he whispered, “I´m so glad you´re better.”

***

Three days after she´d finally woken up, Rose was allowed to leave St. Mungo´s. Her escort party consisted of three people. There was Sirius who was fidgety and nervous but also happily excited and bounced as black dog in front of them. Every now and then he turned and yipped or circled Rose so she had to stop as not to trip. The other two bringing her home were Severus and Remus. Severus didn´t let go of Rose´s hand once, his grip was so strong she had to remind him several times not to break her fingers. Remus on his part smiled all the time and chatted merrily about nothing particular, trying to distract mostly Severus. Rose was kind of relieved as they left the hospital and apparated directly to the garden door of the Burrow.

“Rose!” A many-voiced shout sounded across the yard as everyone spilled out of the house.

Rose smiled, but then her eyes fell on Draco. She glanced briefly to Severus who finally let go of her and she walked to her friend, wrapping him in a tight embrace.

“I´m sorry, Draco. I´m so, so sorry.”

Draco returned her embrace and sighed. “Don´t be. Dumbledore managed to clear father´s name. We are now officially good guys.”

“And your mother? How is she?” Rose asked uncertain.

“She´s…She copes. She travelled to a cousin in France to get away from here. She asked me to come with her, but actually I prefer staying here.”

Rose nodded, still with heavy heart.

She and Draco looked for a moment in silence at each other as Molly snatched Rose away and pulled her into her arms.

“How do you feel? Do you want to celebrate your birthday? But only if you feel strong enough. We can delay it a few days if you like and…”

“Yes,” Rose interrupted her. “I know nothing I´d love more at the moment.”

With that Molly swept away, clinking and rattling through the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a new chapter *yeah*  
> Actually I wanted to post it already yesterday, but after reading it again I couldn´t. I simply hated it and so I rewrote it. I´m still not entirely sure but I like it definitely more then the original chapter.
> 
> Hope you like it :)

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“Rose! Come on in!” Draco shouted before Ron dunked him under water.

Though Rose laughed, she made no move to join her friends and most of the adults in an altered version of the portable swamp Fred and George had once placed in a corridor at Hogwarts. This new product was simply called portable pond and created a nice swimming pond wherever it was placed, though at best somewhere outside.

Currently Rose sat on a rock and dangled her feet in the shallow water. Severus and Remus sat at each side of her, watching the playful fight in the deeper water.

Hermione laughed and tried to get away from the twins before they could lift her up and throw her again into the water, but Fred managed to hold her back. He pulled her into his arms and only after he and George had gotten their various kisses each, they let her go.

“So, when did you tell everyone?” Rose asked as Hermione stood in front of her, wringing water out of her hair.

“Oh, uhm, the day after the attack. George dragged me to Molly where Fred waited for us and they flatly told her I am the woman they love and if she´d have a problem with a relationship between them and me they would gladly help her stick her opinion where the sun never shines.” Hermione chuckled awkwardly and blushed.

Severus simply arched one eyebrow but said nothing while Remus chuckled into his cup of tea.

“But Molly had no objections I guess.”

“What do you think?” Hermione grinned. “She said she´s glad they chose a responsible woman. And everyone else was just happy for us. And I´m happy we made that step. I was really stupid for trying to hide it that long.” She shrugged and then, coming a little closer, added, “Why don´t you come in? The water is really great.”

“Exactly,” Fred and George said, standing suddenly behind the rock. With a feisty push they send both Remus and Severus into the water.

“The water is just the right temperature. Come on, swim with us,” Fred said and quickly stepped out of Severus´ line of fire.

“Weasley!” Severus growled and chased as fast as his soaked clothes allowed after Fred.

“Yes, Professor?” Fred tossed with an amazingly innocent expression over his shoulder. “Is something the matter? You,” he ducked away and the stinging hex missed him only barely.“ You seem a little too dry for being in a pond,” he said, grinning. He stopped abruptly and grasped Severus´ arm. “Let me help you.” With that Fred pulled Severus into the deep water and both disappeared under the surface, George joined them howling.

“Blimey,” Remus said and climbed back on the rock, drying his clothes with a swish of his wand. “Though, they were right, the water is perfect.”

“Yeah, might be, but I don´t want go swimming.”

Remus regarded her with a wry look. “Are you sure? All your friends…”

“Yeah! I am sure! Can we now stop talking about it?” Rose snapped and stood up.

“Hey, all right. Calm down.” Remus took her hand and pulled her back down, sliding his arm around her.

Rose huffed but then relaxed. “Sorry, I didn´t mean to snarl. It´s just…I don´t feel like…swimming.”

***

Half an hour later Molly called everyone to the table for coffee and birthday cake.

Rose, balancing cake on her fork, leant forward, asking across the table, “Charlie? Where´s Oliver?”

“Oh, he´s back soon, he…”

A yelp from Hermione interrupted Charlie´s explanation and everyone turned his head to the young woman who spit something into her hand, eyes going wide.

“No…” she said, eying with obvious disbelief her hand.

“Yes,” George said, grinning, and stood up.

Fred followed suit and together they pulled Hermione´s chair back, kneeling in front of her.

“Minni , love,” George said, smiling broadly. “It took us some time to see more in you than the know-all friend of our baby brother.”

“Honestly?” Ron blurted but was ignored.

“But then we got to know you better and you became an important part of our life.” Fred smiled.

“We don´t want to miss you ever again.”

“Hermione…” Fred shifted.

“Will you marry us?” the twins asked in unison.

Before Hermione could do more than inhale and open her mouth, Oliver appeared in the yard, holding something in his arms.

“Well, that´s timing,” Charlie chuckled and quickly stood up and pulled Oliver aside, whispering with him.

The whole party was torn between waiting for Hermione´s answer and craning their necks to look what Oliver and Charlie were up to. But then Charlie released them with sending Oliver in the house and coming back.

“Sorry…just get on with your engagement.” He remained standing.

All heads turned back to Hermione who sported a beet red blush and plucked nervously on her bottom lip.

“You don´t have to answer,” George said tenderly.

“We only thought today would be a good time to ask you,” Fred added.

Both men looked a little self-conscious.

“Yes,” Hermione said, a smile spreading on her face. “Yes,” she repeated. “I want to be your wife.”

Whatever the twins said to her in this moment got drowned in Molly´s shriek as she stumbled with tears in her eyes forwards and embraced the twins and Hermione all at once, sobbing and laughing and distributing kisses.

“Merlin help me, more Weasley´s to come,” Severus groaned.

Rose laughed. “If you´re lucky they are a perfect mix of their parents: bright, knowledge thirsty pranksters.”

“Thank you very much, that is really exhilarative.” Severus made a face but then slung his arm around Rose´s shoulder and kissed her temple.

“Not that your children would be much different, would they?” Remus chuckled.

Sirius growled. “Will you stop putting ideas in their minds?”

“Don´t you worry,” Rose said and chuckled with Remus as she saw Severus´ pinkish cheeks. “I´d like to finish school first and find out what I want to do for a life and then I´ll think about children.”

“You better do that or I´ll have to castrate Snape yet still.”

“Go and try, Black, fair chance though you´re the one ending without his family jewels.”

“Heavens! Stop it!” Rose and Remus both exclaimed and held Severus and Sirius back from standing up and proving their points.

“Ehm,” Charlie cleared his throat. “I hate to interrupt the happy celebration to my left and the amusing quarrel about castration to my right, but I have to tell you something too.”

It became quiet.

“Ok, to make it short. Oliver and I are engaged and we adopted a child.” Charlie opened his arms in a ta-da-gesture, grinning from ear to ear.

Molly paled and clasped one hand above her heart, only Fred holding her and George pushing a chair closer, prevented her from collapsing to the ground.

Arthur choked on his cake. His face turned bright red while he coughed.

Behind all of them, Oliver came out of the house and now everyone could see that what he held in his arms was a small boy with brown hair who looked with big, round eyes around.

“Friends and family, this is Theodore, but we call him Teddy. He´s 14 months and born in Romania.”

“Charlie!” Molly sobbed. “A real child? No dragon?”

Charlie laughed. “Yeah, well mother, Oliver didn´t agree to raise a dragon,” he quipped and winked to Oliver who shook his head fondly.

“But there´s one thing more,” Oliver said, placing little Teddy on his hip. “Rose, we´d like to ask you to become Teddy´s godmother.”

“Really?” Rose asked surprised, then smiled. “Of course. Yes. Thank you.”

***

Much later and after a multi-course dinner from which Rose could eat not nearly as much as she wanted to, Severus apparated them home. Though arriving, Rose noticed that they weren´t at Grimmauld Place.

“Where are we?”

“My home. I thought we should give your dogfathers some time for themselves.”

“Ah, it´s only for them, then.” Rose chuckled and followed Severus up the path to the front door.

“Of course.” Severus smirked.

“So it´s not about that you don´t want to be disturbed by Sirius?”

“I´d never even think this way.” Severus closed the door and darkness swallowed them.

Rose exhaled, memories awakening. “The last time I was here, I was so scared you´d die.”

She felt Severus stepping closer before his arms encircled her.

“The last time you were here, I was scared too because I started to acknowledge how much you mean to me.”

Severus picked her up and carried her upstairs to his bedroom. With the windows wide open and the white walls and furniture this room was much brighter than the rest of the house.

The sheets rustled as Severus laid her down on them.

“I almost kissed you,” Rose whispered.

“Hm, why haven´t you?” Severus knelt above her and bent forward, his hair falling down like a curtain.

“I wasn´t sure if I hadn´t already went too far this evening and I was afraid to cross the line any further, even with a kiss to your cheek.”

“I guess you were right,” Severus whispered at Rose´s lips before closing the distance completely and kissing her.

His hands stroked gently over her sides, snaking under her shirt.

“Severus, no…” Rose wriggled free and crawled away.

“What? What´s wrong?”

Rose swallowed and pulled her knees up to her chest, not looking at Severus. “I don´t want…”

“That I see you?” Severus finished her sentence and sighed. The bedding rustled again as he stood up and then again as he came back, only a moment later. “Rose, look at me.”

Reluctantly Rose lifted her gaze. Severus had undressed from his shirt. His pale skin seemed to glow faintly in the sparse light of the night. The map of zig-zagging scars on his torso shimmered silvery.

“I have my scars and you have yours. You never gave me the feeling you don´t want to touch me because of them. Quite the opposite. You spent a long time touching, caressing and kissing each of my scars, old and new. Don´t hide from me, Rose.”

Severus crawled over to her, pulling her on her hips closer and bent down until Rose had no other choice than to lie back. Slowly he pushed her top up, revealing centimetre by centimetre more skin. His eyes wandered the length of the scar Bellatrix had left on Rose. It was a thin, wavy line, running from her left collarbone down between her breasts and past her navel to her right hip where it described a sharp turn and ended finally in line with her groin.

Rose head turned her head away, facing the wall, but Severus cupped her face, forcing her softly to meet his gaze.

“It will always remind me how close I came to losing you.” He kissed her. “But you´re here now and you´re with me.” He kissed her again, longer, his hands trailing over her stomach and making short work of her trousers. “I love you.”

Rose took a shuddering breath but smiled. “I love you too.”

***

The next morning came all too soon and Rose blinked against the sun, brightening the room. She turned in Severus´ arm and squeezed her eyes back shut.

“I hate when you watch me sleep.”

“I love watching you sleep,” he replied flatly and smiled. “Stay right here.”

Severus walked out of the room and came five minutes later back, carrying a tray.

“Too early for food?” he asked with a grin and placed the tray on the foot end of the bed.

“Definitely, but that tea´s asking for me.”

“I thought so.” Severus filled a cup for each of them and then settled back with a toast in hand. “Ah…” he said and looked out of the window. Two owls approached the house and sailed right away inside, landing on the bed. One of the owls brought the newest Daily Prophet, while the other carried a small package.

Severus paid the newspaper owl and watched Rose tug the package from the leg of the other owl.

“Oh, that´s for me.” She sounded surprised and looked up.

“Then go ahead, open it.”

Rose fumbled a little with the wrapping and finally simply ripped it unceremoniously apart, revealing a beautiful, little box. The box was green with an intricate pattern in black and silver, forming knots and bows. Inside the box lay a key and a note which read only one word.

“Pembrokeshire?” Rose frowned and searched the wrapping for another note, but couldn´t find one.

“It´s my birthday present for you.” Severus said lowly. “I thought it would do us some good to get out of everything and have time only for us.”

“Yes.” Rose put the present on the nightstand and climbed on Severus´ lap. “When do we go?”

Severus chuckled about that much eagerness. “As soon as I´m back from Hogwarts.”

“Hogwarts?” Rose frowned.

“Tragically, yes. You have no idea how much administrative formalities have to be cleared before term starts.” Severus let out a suffering sigh. “Endless staff meetings and finalizing plans for night patrols and timetables.”

“And you can´t skip that?” Rose fluttered her lashes, pouting lightly.

“I´ll already skip one of the two weeks. Sorry, darling, I can´t miss the rest.”

“But I could stay with you at Hogwarts, couldn´t I?” She put her arms around his neck, her gaze changing to pleading.

“I talked with Black and Remus about it and then with Dumbledore. They…We all think it´s better you stay with your friends. The meetings will take up most of the day and at the Burrow you aren´t alone. I´ll come and pick you up on next Sunday. Make sure you´re ready by ten.” Severus gazed questioningly at her. “Ok?”

Rose nodded, though not overly happy. “Yeah, ok, but then I won´t let you leave my side for the whole time of our trip.”

“And if you decide to spend the complete time naked in bed…I´ll agree happily.” Severus nudged his nose against Rose´s but couldn´t kiss her as she bent slightly back, grinning.

“Well then, I guess we won´t leave the bed if it isn´t absolutely necessary.”


	6. Chapter 6

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“Rose!” Hermione called from across the entrance hall. “Where´ve you been?”

Rose turned around and watched her friends hasten over to her. Neville and Luna held hands and seemed barely in the here and now, what with them exchanging nonstop glances and smiles.

“So, you finally did it?” Rose chuckled and watched Neville blush.

“Did what?” Luna asked with an unfamiliar mischievous grin.

“Never mind,” Rose laughed and waved at Ginny who dragged Blaise past them towards the Great Hall.

“Before you ask, yes, they´re together. Mom is over the moon,” Ron said, though with a frown as he watched his little sister share a goodbye kiss with her boyfriend who then walked with Pansy Parkinson to the Slytherin table.

Draco squeezed Ron´s hand and brushed a kiss on his cheek, whispering something. Ron blushed and quickly turned his gaze to the floor.

“How was the wedding?” Rose asked, turning to Hermione.

Bill and Fleur had married in the last week of the holidays, but Rose was rather happy she´d had an excuse for not attending and even now she´d always again choose a trip with Severus over the turmoil of a big wedding.

“It was wonderful. So romantic. There were fairy lights all over the garden and flowers and…”

“Let´s talk about it later,” Draco interrupted Hermione. “Believe me, when she starts, she won´t stop again.” He winked and then winced as Hermione elbowed him.

“Don´t be silly. I just think it was nice. But now to you.” Hermione gazed at Rose. “Why weren´t you on the train?”

“Oh, Wales was so nice and I begged Severus to stay a little longer and so we did until today,” Rose said with a grin.

“Merlin, so Luna was right, you and…?” Neville exclaimed, gawping at Rose.

Rose nodded. “Yes. But please be quiet about it. I don´t want the rumours to start yet again.”

“Students!” Professor Sinistra called through the hall as she ushered the new first years towards the Great Hall. “Come on. You´re late!”

Quickly the friends followed. All other students sat already at their house tables. The murmur of excited conversation and laughter sounded through the hall. Rose earned promptly a raised eyebrow from Severus and questioning gazes from Sirius and Remus. She grinned and shrugged nonchalantly.

“Rose! You´re back! How are you?” Lavender grinned.

“Hey, I´m fine.”

“We read about you in the Prophet. Are you really ok? They wrote about you like you´ve been about to die.”

Rose shivered at the memory but nodded. “It was close enough.”

Lavender and Parvati gasped.

“I´ll tell you later, ok?” Rose inclined her head towards the Head Table and the first years.

Most of the sorting ceremony went by without Rose acknowledging anything of it because she was too occupied with staring at Severus, daydreaming.

“Rose…stop staring and eat!” Draco hissed into her ear as again time just seemed to disappear around her. “You´re not exactly subtle.”

“Oh damn,” Rose bowed her head and put some food on her plate. “I´ll never survive this school year.”

“We see to it, no worries.” Draco grinned.

Rose was sure last year it hadn´t been this hard to act normal. She really had to pull herself together.

Again lost in thoughts, she barely noted that the food disappeared and Dumbledore held his welcome speech. Only when Hermione tapped her on the shoulder, she flinched and looked up.

“Are you coming?”

“Coming? Where?”

“Blimey! The feast is over, we´re going to the common room…”

“Oh…” Rose stood up and slowly followed her friends. Almost at the door, someone took her elbow and she turned to see who it was and looked directly at Severus.

“Quite obviously you haven´t noticed, but I have something you will surely miss rather soon,” he said lowly and tried to ignore the staring faces as students walked by.

Rose was too confused to answer. Severus chuckled and once again students looked.

“Your wand.” He held the item in question up. “You seem to be a bit absent minded, you´re all right?...Ten points from Hufflepuff for eavesdropping!” he snarled at a young girl who hurriedly walked away.

Rose took her wand and tucked it away.

“I guess I´m not really back yet…Uhm, I think I should go…Good night.” Rose smiled, though a little forced.

“Good night,” Severus answered softly and was for a moment tempted to throw caution to the wind and shock everyone with kissing Rose. But he caught himself in time and instead breathed two times in and out while gesturing to her to go ahead.  

Slowly he made his way up to the Headmaster´s office, as Dumbledore had asked him to earlier this evening.

“Headmaster, Minister,” he greeted as he entered the office and found the two men in conversation.

“Ah, Severus,” Dumbledore said. His usual smile was firmly in place but faltered a little as he continued, “I´m afraid we have some not so good news for you.”

“Quite. I´m sorry to say that the Wizengamot wants to see you, Severus. Albus did his best to them out of it and I tried too, but there are more people behind it than only the two of us. But for now there´s no trial against you. It will be just a formal hearing to clarify some points,” Kingsley Shacklebolt said with an apologetic twitch of his eyebrows.

“Of course,” Severus said curtly.

“I´m afraid I need to go now. Don´t worry, Severus, basically it´s just formality,” Kingsley said and nodded his goodbye.

Deflated, Severus slumped down into an armchair and rubbed over his face.

“They will never let the opportunity slip to bring me to court as well. Sooner or later there will be my own trial and that means everyone will know about my whole past,” he said darkly. 

“I try to put the Prophet off with a ready statement they can print.”

“You don´t even try to assure me that I´m wrong,” Severus huffed.

“You wouldn´t believe my efforts anyway,” Dumbledore almost shrugged and reached for the bowl with Sherbet Lemon.

“And what about Rose? There are so many things she doesn´t need to know. She´s through so much I don´t want to burden her anymore,” Severus said.

“I understand your anxieties, but I think it would be better she hears it from you than to read about it in the Prophet.”

“Albus. I can´t tell her…She will leave me if she knows the complete truth.” Severus glanced desperately over at his mentor and friend.

“You think her so narrow-minded? True, it will be a shock, but when she had time to think everything through I´m sure she will understand.”

“I took everything from her!” Severus jumped up and, like he had done already so often in the past, paced across the room.

“You were not the one holding the wand, Severus! And now, give it a rest. Don´t meet trouble halfway. Let it happen and react to the things when they happen,” Dumbledore said sternly and gestured to Severus to sit down again.

Severus swallowed thickly and turned his back on the Headmaster, staring into the flames.

“Actually I´d thought to speak to you about something entirely different…”

“That there is?” Dumbledore gazed curiously over his spectacles.

“I planned to make our relationship official but now…There will be enough newspaper articles and I don´t want to drag Rose even more into the headlines.” Severus sighed. He really wanted to stop hiding, but now it was again impossible.

“That is indeed a great step. And I agree with you, also because I had to advise you to delay those plans.”

Severus had hoped Dumbledore would encourage him that it was the right decision but even that was denied to him.

“I´m sorry. I see you hoped for another reaction but let me explain.” Dumbledore shifted in his armchair and sighed heavily. “Until today I was hopeful that Minerva would return entirely, but it seems that I was mistaken. She still fights with the aftermath of the attack and feels not confident enough to fully come back at the moment.”

“But she looked healthy and just as always, maybe tired but who isn´t during meeting week?” Severus gazed at Dumbledore. This prelude didn´t bode well.

“I´m afraid she isn´t and she wants to cut down her duties. I already spoke with Remus and Sirius. Remus will be again Head of House and Sirius will take over some of her classes. That brings already a huge relief, but Minerva asked to reduce one more thing. What brings me straight to you. I´d like to ask you to take the position of Deputy Headmaster.”    

“I see. What if I refuse?”

“I hope you won´t. You already did an excellent job last year and I trust you to do so this year as well.” Dumbledore smiled encouragingly.

“I shared the workload with Remus, as you know.”

“I know and if you should worry about your time with Rose. I assure you that won´t be an issue.”

Severus glanced back into the flames before turning completely and looking at the Headmaster. “Albus, I have no idea how I should manage that. When will I see her? I can´t give her detentions for nothing,” he confessed in a low voice, but Dumbledore only smiled.

“I oblige you therefore to continue her tutoring.”

“Oh please, I can´t justify that without it screaming ‘favouritism’. Rose is too good now for reasonable further extra lessons. Her last exam was an Exceeds Expectations, almost better…”

“When it will come as an order from me it´s just me favouring her and no one can blame you for obeying,” Dumbledore said somewhat stubbornly.

Severus sighed and made his way to the door.

“Severus! I still need your answer.”

“Yes, for Merlin´s sake. As if I´d have a choice.”

“Splendid! And if you decide to make your relationship public anyway, know you have my full support.”

Severus gazed over his shoulder. Not even five minutes ago Dumbledore´s opinion to that topic had sounded completely different.

“I would if I had only to worry about myself,” Severus said with the door already open.

“I know but Rose is tough she will weather the storm alongside you.”

Severus turned his back on the Headmaster, cursing the man inwardly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> surprised to see a new chapter already?  
> Yeah, I feel this way too :D But I felt like posting today.  
> Hope you like it.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

“Look, Monday morning and already double Potions,” Draco waved his timetable under Rose´s nose.

“Hmmm,” she hummed and looked dull down into her pumpkin juice. The last night had been horrible and she had no idea if the never ending nightmares were the result of retelling Bellatrix´ attack to Lavender and Parvati or the fact that Severus wasn´t with her. She´d never thought she´d get so quickly used to sleeping next to someone else and she´d missed him dearly, not only for a good night´s rest.

Draco exchanged looks with Ron and Hermione and waved his wand at Rose´s juice.

“You look like you need coffee.”

“Thanks, Drake.” She glanced at the cup and then stood up. “I go ahead. See you in a bit.”

It was still half an hour until class would start, but the door to the Potions classroom was unlocked so Rose slipped inside and decided to take the place from sixth year. Shortly after she´d sat down, Severus came into the classroom.

“I saw you leaving and thought it would be a good chance to have a few minutes with you alone,” he said softly and crouched in front of her desk. “Are you all right?”

“Did you know that McGonagall steps back from her duties?” Rose crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked guarded. No, she felt not all right and the news about McGonagall didn´t help improve her mood either.

“Not until I talked to Dumbledore yesterday after the feast. He asked me to take her position as Deputy Headmaster.”

Rose frowned troubled. “And you said yes.”

“I said yes,” Severus confirmed with a long exhale.

“Great!” Rose spat and curled her lips irritated, nodding. She felt her throat constrict and knew her eyes already showed the first tears.

Severus stood up. “Come here.” He held his hand towards her, but she ignored him and looked down at her hands, so he rounded her desk, took her hand and pulled her up to embrace her.

“I´m really not eager to do this. But Dumbledore asked me and I have no good reason to decline.”

“Is time with me no good reason?” Rose pushed him away and glared at him. She had not even an idea why she was angry now.

“We will have time together. Dumbledore charged me with more extra lessons for you.”

Rose made a surprised face that turned quickly into disbelieve.

“Oh really? I thought I´d be good enough to go on without them.”

“You are.” Severus sighed heavily. “But if anyone asks it´s the wish of our Headmaster and this is nothing I can refuse…You understand?”

“I guess.”

“Good.” Severus nodded. “Can you now please stop being angry with me?”

“I can,” Rose said in a small voice.

“Wonderful.” He wrapped his arms around her again. “I hate this as much as you and honestly I actually wanted Dumbledore´s backup for making us official.”

“But this is now no option anymore.” Rose rested her forehead against his chest. Severus hadn´t told her about these plans and actually she´d preferred he hadn´t told her now either. It was bad enough to know she couldn´t have that but knowing that Severus wanted it too and they still couldn´t be officially together because of his duties…That was really not fair. “I hate my life. How silly have I been that I thought it would become easier now?”

“I wish it would be different.” Severus kissed her on the top of her head. “There is something else I need to tell you.”

“No, not more bad news.” Rose shook her head, but Severus told her anyway.

“Kingsley was there too yesterday. You know that every Death Eater has to stand trial…”

“You are no Death Eater,” Rose cut in and turned out of Severus embrace. “That was what you wanted to say, wasn´t it? That you´ll have a trial because you´re a Death Eater.”

“I have been once and I have at least to answer the court about my involvement with Bellatrix in the most recent past. For now it´s merely a hearing.”

“That´s all so fucked up! Why can´t everyone leave us alone? Do you have any idea how much rubbish everyone talks already? I don´t want this anymore.” Rose´s voice got thinner and shakier with every word. “You know what? The best would be if I´d just drop out and start something different. Essentially far away from Hogwarts.”

“Rose, it´s your last year and you wanted to become a Healer or start teaching. You can´t do either of it when you don´t finish school.” Severus frowned alarmed, Rose´s mood swings were quite worrisome.

“I´m only one day back and it feels as if this castle, the people in it and all the silly rumours and the blathering already suffocate me. Everyone talks about what the Prophet wrote about me and Bellatrix. Everyone talks about Avery. I can barely breathe…And I just…I just want to be with you. I don´t care if I can´t teach or be a Healer, but I can´t stand a single day longer in these walls,” Rose sobbed, every strained breath accompanied by a faint whistle and loads of tears.

“Shush” Severus held her shaking frame and tried to calm her. The bell signalled the start of the classes, but Rose showed no sign of calming down.

“Last night I dreamed of him. Only that I didn´t lost consciousness and I was on the ground and felt everything he did to me and then…then the next time I was all alone with him. No one noticed and he…”

“Rose.” Severus pushed her on arm´s length away and shook her softly. “Calm down. I´m here. No one will harm you.”

“But you aren´t! You aren´t there when I dream about him in the night and over the days you aren´t there either. Not how I need you!” Rose yelled and trembled while tears ran down her face.

Severus heard the students coming closer, but right now he really didn’t care what everyone would say. He pulled Rose close again and stroked tenderly over her back.

“It´s ok. Calm down, love. We´ll find a way. I promise you.” Severus cupped her face and tilted her head up. “Promise me something too. Talk to someone about it.” He gazed intently at her. The first students entered the classroom and exchanged confused glances. Severus ignored them and embraced Rose again. “You need help with it. Please, ask for help.”

Rose still sobbed and clawed at his robes but nodded. Severus took one arm off Rose and searched his pockets for a Calming Draught. Nowadays he always had one with him. In the last pocket he found it finally and uncorked the small vial. He entangled himself from Rose and pushed her gently down on her chair. He pressed the vial into Hermione´s hand. “See that she takes it,” he said and turned away. As if nothing had happened, Severus started today´s class and was sure that after lunch everyone would know about this incident.

***

"Potter," Professor McGonagall looked up surprised.

“Hello Professor, do you have one moment?”

“I do. Sit down, take a biscuit. You want tea?”

Rose nodded hesitantly and took one of the biscuit but just held it in one hand without eating it.

“What can I do for you?” McGonagall asked and filled a second cup with tea.

“I know that you´re no longer Head of Gryffindor, but I need your advice as that. I can´t go to Remus with it, he´d only alert Severus and Sirius.”

“I understand.” Professor McGonagall sat down, sighing heavily. She was paler and thinner than before. She looked indeed not exactly sick but neither healthy. Rose was suddenly unsure if it was the right decision to come here and disturb the woman. “Miss Potter, just tell me what bothers you,” McGonagall urged as Rose kept silent.

“I…I think about leaving school.”

With a loud clatter, the older woman placed her tea cup on the table and looked more than her usual self with calculating narrowed eyes and thin mouth.

“I hope that was only a bad joke.”

“No. It´s…I can´t stand being back here. When I could choose right now I would go somewhere else…somewhere far away with no one around. A little cottage or something just for me and my thoughts. Ever since I started Hogwarts things keep happening to me. I never had a break and everything keeps crashing down on me. Never is anything just good and I can enjoy it. Everything leaves a bitter taste. Always. And I can´t forget. I want to forget it all but I can´t. I feel so…I hate being here.” The words just bubbled out of her mouth without her really thinking about what she was saying.

“Miss Potter…Rose. Maybe I understand you better than you think. But believe me, running away will change nothing. I myself feel like running away and hiding after what happened in Hogsmeade, but I don´t do that. I came back here and though I cede most of my tasks and even teach less, I am here. Anyway, if you really feel that leaving is the only way to cope with your feelings, I advise you to talk to someone. Some situations seem to have only one solution until you speak to someone else.”

“You mean I should look for help.” Rose huffed a sigh, everyone kept telling her that.

“I´m no expert, but after the recent events I know a little about depressions and I found help. Talking about it with a specialised Healer helps me process everything.”

“I don´t know if I´m able to trust a stranger. I´d rather speak with no one then.”

Professor McGonagall looked up and frowned.

“Why don´t you join my next appointment? You could get to know Mrs Driscoll and maybe you´ll like her and find you can give it try and talk to her.”

Rose considered the offer for a moment.

“Are you sure that´s ok?”

McGonagall gave Rose one of her rare smiles. “Rose, I wouldn´t have offered it if I weren´t sure. I´ll let you know about the time.”

“Thank you, Professor.” Rose nodded and, strangely, felt a lot better already.

***

“Rose!” Severus came with long strides closer. “Are you feeling better?” He regarded her with a worried look.

“Yes. I´m fine. Forget what I said about leaving and everything. I think I might´ve found a solution.”

“Indeed?”

Together they walked to the Great Hall. The whispers grew louder as the other students saw them. Severus glanced worried at Rose, but she put on a stoic expression and stopped briefly. “Professor McGonagall offered her help and I´ll give it a try,” she said and hurried then without waiting for an answer to the Gryffindor table and her friends.

“Where have you been? We left the dungeons and suddenly you were gone.” Hermione waved her fork at Rose, a worried frown on her face.

“Sorry, I had a talk with Professor McGonagall.”

“What was that about this morning? You had a fight?”

“Draco…Did it look like a fight? I just didn´t feel well, is all. How´s the roasted chicken?” She changed the topic and startled her friends. Thankfully they played along.

“Oh, it´s great. But we don´t expect it different, do we?” Ron grinned and offered Rose the bowl of rice.

***

“So, I heard you and Rose were intimate in classroom,” Remus leant over as Severus sat down.

“Interesting, though incorrect.”

“I assumed so much. But it´s only the first day and you and Rose are again back on everyone´s lips.” Remus watched Severus intently.  

“She didn´t feel well this morning. I couldn´t just stand next to her and watch her cry, could I?”

“She cried?” Remus put his cutlery down and frowned.

“Yes. She has nightmares and she didn´t took it well that I´m Deputy Headmaster.” Severus stirred his stew, gazing at it with discontent.

“We need to help her.”

“No, she spoke with Minerva. I think it´s safe to only keep an eye on her and otherwise let her go her own way.”

“If you say so…Anyway, students saw you together and they start gossiping again.”

“They will gossip even more when they hear that I continue her tutoring.” Severus made a puffing noise and attacked his meal with irritated jabs of his spoon, barely tasting what he ate.

Remus´ frown deepened.

“Haven´t you said she wouldn´t need it anymore?”

“It´s Dumbledore´s way to justify why she´s down in my office. Though I don´t know how I am to schedule all that and have the time Rose needs.” He put his spoon aside. “I see you later.” Without finishing his lunch, Severus stood up and rushed out of the hall, ignoring the students.

Gods, he hated gossip.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m sorry for the delay. I´m sick and slept most of the last days. Today´s actually the first time I feel more like a human being again and there I thought I´ll give you quick another chapter and then go back to bed.  
> I hope you like it.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Somehow Rose managed to survive the first week back at Hogwarts, though it was arduous. She saw Severus only briefly when they met in the corridors or in class and being apart from him seemed to worsen her nightmares which she had now each night again. The Prophet articles, announcing that Avery still was not caught, didn´t help either to erase the nagging fear inside her.

And now she sat in Professor McGonagall´s office and waited with her for the Healer to arrive, though actually she´d thought she could find anything better to do on a rather warm Saturday afternoon.

“Ah, good afternoon, Elise,” McGonagall said as a young woman with brown hair entered. She was rather small, even smaller than Rose and looked so fragile as if a soft breeze could blow her away.

“Hello Professor,” the Healer said with a quiet voice and then smiled at Rose. “And you are Rose? Professor McGonagall informed be you´d be here.”

“Hello,” Rose said unsure and waited what would happen.

“I´m Elise Driscoll,” Elise said and extended her hand to shake Rose´s, her soft brown eyes sparkled kindly. “I´m a Healer, specialised in conversational therapy with focus on traumatic events and their processing.” She made a small break and exchanged a glance with McGonagall. “I won´t urge you to talk to me. Everything you tell me is your choice, even if you want to talk to me at all.”

“I´m not sure…” Rose said and looked pointedly at neither woman.

“Professor McGonagall agreed that you can watch a typical appointment between us and you can form an opinion. You won´t have to decide today. You can always owl me.”

After that Rose listened to Professor McGonagall for almost an hour and made up her mind surprisingly quick.

“Mrs Driscoll?” Rose asked after leaving with her the Professor´s office.

“Call me Elise,” Elise smiled.

“Can we arrange an appointment?” Rose buried her hands in her pockets and bit her lower lip while she waited for the answer.

“Of course we can. What do you think about Tuesdays? That´s the Professor´s usual day, so I´m here, anyway. We could meet afterwards. At 7?”

“Yeah, ok. Sounds good,” Rose agreed and bid the other woman goodbye.

***

On Tuesday morning, Remus came over to the Gryffindor table.

“Rose.” He smiled broadly. “I just wanted to tell you that I spoke with Professor McGonagall and we agree that you will be again Quidditch captain. Congratulations.” He patted her shoulder and was about to go away as Rose turned.

“No.”

“Huh?” Remus looked puzzled.

“I said no. I won´t be captain. In fact I won´t play at all this year. Ginny should be your next choice. She did pretty well last year.”

Everyone around them went quiet.

“Are you serious about it?” Remus asked to make sure of her decision.

“Yes.” Rose held his gaze and around her the Gryffindor´s protested. For a moment Rose just stayed on her seat but as more and more people tried to change her mind, she snorted irritated and rushed out of the hall.

The whole time her housemates asked her to rethink her decision. She tried to ignore all of it, but as even Ron started in Defence to nag about it, she had finally enough.

“Bloody hell, stop it!” she yelled. “Why is it so hard for you to respect my decision? Because that it is: MY decision!” Furious she grabbed her things and stormed out of the room.

Remus went after her, but Rose was already out of sight. Frowning, he returned to the front of the class and finished the last minutes of the lesson.

***

Rose wandered for about an hour aimlessly through the castle until she felt calm enough to return to her friends and join them for dinner. She had to hurry now anyway because her appointment with Elise Driscoll approached and the last thing she wanted was to be late.

Just as she was on her way to the Great Hall, Severus headed her off. Under much too many prying eyes he guided her aside.

“Rose, I´m worried about you. Everyone says you´re absent minded or ill-tempered and snappy.”

“Oh, am I?” Rose sneered and avoided to look him in the eyes.

Sighing, Severus looked around, here and there students had stopped and watched them without even trying to hide it.

“Let´s walk a moment.”

“No, I´m hungry. What do you want?”

“Damn Rose! It´s me, you remember? Talk to me,” Severus strained to keep his voice low.

“I don´t want to talk to you between classes or whenever you have a spare minute. We haven´t seen each other not even over the weekend. I hate being back,” she whispered furiously and made it sound almost like a steady hiss.

“I´m sorry, but I can´t change it right now. It´s only start of term it will get better when I had time to schedule everything more effectively.”

“You know it´s not only that. It isn´t even possible to make my own decisions without everyone thinking they have a right to interfere. And I´m so sick of hiding my feelings. I don´t want to worry about everything I say or how I look at you or if I can touch you. I need you and I just want you to hug and kiss me. But we can´t because then everyone will gossip only more. I want the summer back, our time in Pembrokeshire, you…” Rose ended in a whisper. She inhaled and then went on, “Being back at Hogwarts feels like everyone tries to squeeze me into a tight corset that doesn´t fit anymore. Everyone expects something from me and they don´t let me be myself. I´m more than the Girl-Who-Lived and the one who defeated Voldemort. I´m not this person everyone sees and wants me to be. I´m only a girl with nightmares that wants to be with her boyfriend.” Miserable Rose looked up at Severus and she didn´t care who saw them as she leant her head against his chest.

Hesitantly Severus stroked a few times over her back. “I know. I know that. But we all have a role to play. Just a bit longer and you can be yourself and we can be together for everyone to see.” Gently he pushed her away. “Come on Sunday. We can have breakfast and talk about everything, ok?”

“Yeah. I understand. Not here in public,” Rose snapped and turned to rush away.

In an exasperated gesture Severus lifted his hand and let them fall down again as he sighed heavily. With a glare to the students around him, he turned away from the Great Hall and left for the dungeons.

“Hey Rose!” Lavender said and linked her arm with Rose´s as she caught up with her on the way to their house table.

“Hey Lavender…” Rose answered with little enthusiasm.

“Are you all right? I mean, had you a fight with Snape?”

Rose stopped and looked at Lavender. “Yes, kind of. And no, I won´t tell you. I…I feel not well at the moment. Can we talk later?” Rose only waited for Lavender´s, “Yes, but…” before she huffed and turned to leave the Great Hall again, ignoring the calls of her friends to wait.

***

“Rose, you´re early,” Elise said but smiled and indicated to Rose to come in and sit down.

“Yeah.”

Elise peered at Rose and then sat down too. “Did something happen?”

“My life happened,” Rose snorted but then kept quiet again, staring sullenly at the floor.

“It must be hard when everyone sees only the scar on your forehead but seldom the person beyond.”

Rose´s eyes snapped up and she stared at the Healer.

“Everyone thinks they know me and I owe them. I can´t even decide to stop playing a silly game without everyone butting in.”

“You mean Quidditch? Why don’t you play anymore?” Elise leant relaxed back and pierced Rose with an intent stare.

“I…” Rose shrugged. “It feels so meaningless.”

“But it didn’t before.”

“No, I loved Quidditch, but now…I think I´ve changed too much. I can´t feel the same joy as before and I see no reason to play anything that doesn´t make me happy.” Rose started to relax and pulled one leg under her body, wrapping her arms around the other leg.

“And what makes you happy?”

Rose was unsure what to answer, there were things that made her happy, but she could think only about one in particular.

“My boyfriend…” she said lowly.

Elise smiled softly. “That´s good. Does he know about your past?”

“Which one? I mean, of course he knows about Voldemort. Who doesn´t? But he knows also about what happened the last months.” Rose cleared nervously her throat. That went too fast for her liking. Elise seemed to notice her unease.

“You don´t have to talk about it yet if you feel not comfortable with it. We only get to know each other.”

Rose sighed and nodded. “Can I ask you something?”

“Quite.”

“Have you studied here?”

“Yes. I graduated fifteen years ago. Heavens how time flies,” Elise chuckled, a melodic, soft sound that wavered through the room like the ringing of a bell.

“Then you know all the teachers.”

“Oh, yes. Of course. Sometimes it´s strange for me to meet Professor McGonagall and talk about her private thoughts. And now I´m even back here in the castle. But it´s really amazing too. Earlier I met Professor Snape.” Elise chuckled again. “He hasn´t changed one bit. He took points from a bunch of little Hufflepuffs for standing in his way.”

Rose tried to smile, but the corners her of mouth seemed to weigh at least a ton and she manged not even a faint twitch.

“I always loved Potions and I must admit Professor Snape and I had never problems. I think he even liked me a little, as much as he´s capable of that,” Elise said thoughtful.

Rose nodded along as she startled about a thought. “You graduated fifteen years ago?”

“Yes.”

Rose quickly did the math and then frowned. “Then you already had Professor Snape in Potions.”

“Oh, yes. All the more I´m unsure if it is amazing or worrisome that he hasn´t changed.” Elise´s gaze turned more calculating. “You don´t share my opinion?”

“About Snape?” Rose laughed humourless. “He´s quite an arse. But he tutored me in Potions and we get along rather well since then. He´s different in private.”

“Yes, I guess he is. I always thought, he hates teaching. He´s brilliant in what he does but in his eyes students are all too stupid to understand the simplest instruction.”

“Most of the students don´t care much about Potions. But you can learn a lot from him when you only listen to what he says. And gosh, he **is** brilliant.” Rose said and smiled, suddenly it was easy to do so and her thoughts drifted away, but the more she thought about Severus the gloomier became her mood.

“Rose?” Elise asked softly.

“Sorry, I keep drifting away and start thinking about my boyfriend and that I miss him…Never mind, though.”

Elise watched her attentively but said nothing to it.

***

After leaving Elise, Rose headed straight to Remus´ quarters. She knocked, but no one opened. She was already a couple of steps away, deciding to go into the common room to start on her homework as Sirius called her back.

“What have you done?” Rose asked and followed him into the living room, eying his rumpled clothes.

Sirius flipped his hair out of his face and grinned. Rose lifted immediately her hands.

“No need to explain.” She turned as Remus peeked inside the room, only wearing a towel around his waist and his hair still damp from the shower.

“Hey!” he grinned. Rose chuckled and turned back to Sirius.

“So, I hear you leave the Quidditch team?” Sirius said conversationally but couldn´t hide the fact that he was at least as unhappy about this development as all the other Gryffindors were.

“If you join now half of the castle to rant about my questionable decision-making, I´ll leave and won´t come back for tea or whatever you want to do to spend time with me.” Rose crossed her arms over her chest and lifted defiantly her chin.

“Jeez, yes. It´s ok. I only thought you like Quidditch.” Sirius held his hands up in a placating manner.

Rose sighed. “I do. Or I did. But I don´t want to play anymore, it seems so unimportant. I don´t want you to be angry with me or disappointed.”

“Oi, Rosy, I´ll never be disappointed,” Sirius said with his usual gruff voice he had every time a situation became emotional.

“Yeah?” Rose peered up from under her eyelashes. Sometimes she was not so sure. Sirius had as much a knack for pouting and fits of temper as she had, maybe even worse.

“Silly girl.” Sirius chuckled and pulled Rose into a hug.

“Oh, cuddling round?” Remus asked from the door and joined them, wrapping his arms around them too so that Rose stood between the men.

“Our girl needs reassurance for her decision.”

“Really? Why? It is your decision, no one else´s. Do what is good for you not what others think,” Remus said and bent to kiss Rose´s temple.


	9. Chapter 9

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

The following days, Rose managed to be more civil and kept snappy comments mostly at bay. Having the backup from Remus and Sirius was relieving as well. Elise had advised her to focus on herself and not so much on the world around her so Rose ignored the gossip as much as possible and stopped reading the daily Prophet. Hermione thankfully didn´t tell her about any new articles about Avery or the trials either and slowly Rose felt something like normalcy creep back into her life. Being back at Hogwarts seemed not that bad anymore and Rose really looked forward to her next meeting with Elise Driscoll. But even more so to her date with Severus.

That was until the post rushed in on Friday morning. To Rose´s surprise one of the school owls landed in front of her. She took the small roll of parchment and read the note. With every word her mouth became thinner and she creased her brows in anger.

“Uh oh…Something bad?” Ron swallowed the last bit of his toast.

“That damned stupid idiot!” Forcefully Rose breathed through her nose, crumpling the paper in her hands. “His hearing is today, that´s why his classes are cancelled. But did he tell me? No! He just sends me a bloody note!”

All the way to the Transfiguration classroom Rose sulked silently and flopped disgruntled down on her seat. Even before Professor McGonagall with Sirius on her side had opened her mouth the first three little bats popped into live and fluttered above Rose´s head. The whole class snickered.

“Miss Potter, honestly!” Professor McGonagall exclaimed and eyed the bats. “Would you be so kind to stop this?”

Rose´s glare softened, but she knew already before she tried that she wasn´t able to make the bats disappear. More like the opposite. The more it upset her, the more bats appeared. After a few attempts, she huffed exasperated and gave up.

“Rose has obviously a thing for **dungeon** **bats,** ” Seamus stage whispered and again everyone snickered.

“Enough! Mister Finnegan, behave yourself! Miss Potter, cheer up.” McGonagall flicked her wand and the bats disappeared. She looked sternly around the group. “Professor Black and I will help you today with your body transfigurations. Please form teams and discuss what you want to try.”

Chairs screeched over the floor and humming whispers filled the room.

“We two?” Draco asked cautiously and touched Rose´s arm.

“I´m not sure I should use my wand on anything today.”

“I´m afraid I agree with you. Mister Malfoy please join Miss Granger and Mister Weasley. Miss Potter, follow me.”

Crestfallen Rose followed Professor McGonagall out of the room. They walked silently until they reached the Professor´s office.

“I´m sorry I disturbed your lesson and now I stop you from teaching,” Rose hung her head.

“There, there…I´m confident Sirius manages without me for a moment.” A rare smile tugged on Minerva´s lips as she sat comfortable down in her armchair and watched Rose. “I figured by now that these bats always appear when you´re upset because of Severus. Do you have problems?”

Rose was surprised, to be honest, that Professor McGonagall had brought her here to discuss possible difficulties in her relationship.

“Ehm…I don´t know what I should answer.”

“The truth?”

Rose chuckled a bit at this. Blimey that was kind of surreal.

“No. We don´t have problems. But he hadn´t told me that his hearing is today, he only sent me a note and…it makes me angry that he feels that he can´t tell me in person.”

“I understand.” McGonagall nodded shortly. “I´m afraid that is nothing I can help you with. You better speak with him about it when he´s back.”

“Do you know when that is?”

“That depends on the length of the hearing but this evening should be realistic.” The older woman´s gaze was intense on Rose. “Is there something else that bothers you?”

“You mean besides that I haven´t seen Severus properly since I´m back and I feel after the first two weeks already like I need holidays for at least two years?” Rose rubbed her forehead. Not only that. She felt also tired. Her nightmares got worse with every day and she really was all about to sneak to Severus in the night.

“Oh I know exactly what you mean. But yes, besides that.”

Rose frowned slightly. Professor McGonagall leant back in her chair and wore a content, though slightly worried, expression. Rose was sure she had never before seen her teacher this relaxed.

“Professor, I´m a little confused. I mean have you taken me out of class to discuss my problems?”

“I´m worried about you, Potter. You´re already through a lot in your young age and the last months must have been trying for you.” Minerva arched an eyebrow. “And you already came to me to look for help.”

“Yes. The last months have been difficult.” Rose hesitated and then said, “Does the therapy help you? I mean, you seem to be…more relaxed. Somehow more at ease.”

“I am.” McGonagall nodded and smiled again. “I haven´t acknowledged how much I work over many years. Now with lesser workload I have a lot more time for myself and I notice that I need it. Though, lazing around all day is no alternative for me and I´m grateful that it is still possible to be here and teach. I love being a teacher, but I am also only a human being with the need of some time to relax. Something I denied myself over the last decades. Elise helped me to see that and talking to her makes many things clearer.”

Rose raised briefly her eyebrows. Decades? There was someone else who was most of the time in need of some time to relax. “I know what you mean. I try to make Severus relax too, at least from time to time. He tends to work until late at night, sleeps only a few hours and gets up before dawn to work even more.” Rose smiled at the thought. Even over the summer he was awake before Rose even was able to open her eyes at all what often resulted in him staring at her until she felt her skin crawl from his stares.

“That sounds shockingly familiar. I´m afraid that is something all Professors here at Hogwarts have in common. It is good that you look after Severus. You are good for him. He is changed since he has you at his side. He smiles more often and during the meetings before term started, he even made a joke. It was hilarious. Everyone stared at him until Remus and Albus broke out in laughter. The rest joined in, but you could see how they exchanged confused looks.”

Rose giggled, Severus had told her the story, but hearing it from McGonagall made it even funnier.

“He **is** funny. I never thought he could be. But back in fifth year I also hadn´t thought that he could be more than a greasy, nasty git whose only joy seemingly was to hate and torment me.”

“And now you love him and he loves you,” McGonagall said with a serene smile.

“Yes, but still he can´t tell me important things.” Rose´s bad mood returned now even more forceful.

Professor McGonagall sighed.

“I thought you could forget about it for a moment.”

“I forget about it when I had the chance to yell at him.” A dozen bats appeared and circled around the room.

“You need to control that…” The Professor said, following the little animals with her gaze.

“I know…It would be easier if there´d be a pattern. But sometimes nothing happens and another time I´m followed by a swarm of bats. But I can´t take a calming draught all the time.”

“No that´s right. Let us see how often it will happen and for now I´ll help you out again. Maybe your meetings with Elise Driscoll will help.”

Rose breathed slow and deep in and equally slow out, but it needed indeed Professor McGonagall´s help to let the little creatures disappear.

“Fine, let´s go back to your class before Miss Brown finds yet another topic for her blethering.” McGonagall rolled her eyes.

Rose looked surprised at her teacher and chuckled.

“Blimey, yes. Lavender finds in everything something to talk about. I´m glad that my love life is none of her topics at the moment. Though, sometimes I´d give anything to see her face when I´d just grab Severus and kiss him.”

“This moment will come sooner or later, I´m sure.”

Professor McGonagall held the door open for Rose and together they walked back to the classroom. Thankfully Sirius was too occupied as to ask her what was wrong.

***

Rose´s mood was not that bad the next morning, though she´d again slept only a few hours and had heard nothing about Severus. She joked with Ron about Hermione´s slightly ruffled appearance and traded some good natured insults with Draco until they entered the Great Hall and her gaze fell on a familiar black figure, sitting unperturbed at the teacher´s table sipping his tea. So, he was back and hadn´t even told her. Damn, bloody idiot! 

Huffing, she changed her direction and walked straight up to the Head Table.

“So, a note is all I get?” Rose snapped and glared at Severus who swallowed surprised. She barely refrained from making a scene right there but snarled, “We talk. Now,” before she turned furiously and rushed out of the hall.

Severus glanced sideways to Remus and Sirius who both gave him a commiserate look but shrugged. Composing his rueful expression into a scowl, he strode with his usual demeanour after Rose. The whispers behind him increased as he closed the doors.

Rose stood with crossed arms outside the hall and tapped impatiently her foot on the floor, looking spitting mad.

“Would you the next time…”

“Next time you talk to me before you disappear!” Rose interrupted Severus. “I deserve more than a small, hastily scribbled note.”

Students passed by and gawped. Severus gripped Rose´s arm and rushed away towards the dungeons. Only when he had closed the door to his study behind them, he let go of her and turned.

“I know you´re angry and I understand that. But firstly, you never again behave like this in front of the whole school. Secondly, it was just a hearing and I didn´t want you to worry or have silly ideas and try to come with me to defend me or something like that,” he said astonishingly calm. Though, Rose stood still with her arms crossed and Severus felt his own anger rise. Stupid girl! Why had she to argue about everything? Couldn´t she for once just accept that some things weren´t discussable?

“Maybe it slipped your attention, but we have a relationship and in such people talk to each other. If you had done so I wouldn´t have reacted like I did!” Rose retorted enraged.

Oh yes, of course it was entirely his fault, as always when something happened. Severus glared back at her.

“Beyond these doors I´m your Professor and you have to behave like that. If you can´t do that we need to find another arrangement concerning our relationship and apart from that I really don´t care what you think I should´ve done!” The moment the words were out he knew he had made a big mistake. Rose´s anger turned into hurt and she swallowed tears back.

“Great. Good we spoke about that.” With a sniffled sob she tore the door open and was out of the room before he could say anything to soften his words. He was not entirely sure what to do now. Should he follow her or better wait? Damn, he could slap himself for reacting so thoughtless. He just decided that he would follow Rose as it knocked on his office door. Curtly he opened and looked coldly down on a third year Hufflepuff. Ah yes, how could he have forgotten?

“Mister Meriweather…” Considering he couldn´t worsen things with Rose anyway, he stepped out of his office. “Follow me, you will scrub the students desks in the Potions classroom.”

Two hours later Severus dismissed the student for lunch. He himself felt all but hungry but walked nonetheless upstairs in the hope to meet Rose. But here he got sorely disappointed as neither Rose nor her friends appeared. Silently he cursed himself and even more as he saw a furious Sirius storming towards him.

“There you are! Tell me why I shouldn´t punch you right now and here?” Sirius growled and towered intimidatingly above him. Severus stood up and straightened himself, levelling his eyes with Sirius.

“Because you´re a teacher and currently in a place where every student can see you,” he snarled back, gesturing with his hand towards the sea of attentive students. “I take Rose spoke with you?” he added a lot calmer and turned his back towards the hall.

“Merlin, yes she did and you…”

“I didn´t mean it! Ok?” he hissed and added, “Where is she?”

Sirius huffed. “Why should I believe you? Or tell you where she is?”

Severus' indifferent expression dropped.

“Please. I made a mistake and I want…”

“She´s with Remus,” Sirius said tersely and looked not the slightest bit happy. “Gods, I swear, do that again and I´ll hex you to pieces! Go now, before I reconsider my decision.”

Sirius watched the flapping robes of Severus as he made his way down to the doors.

“Good choice not to punch him,” Minerva McGonagall said from behind him. She sat down and patted the seat next to her. “It´s good you protect her but maybe less aggressive would be more appropriate in your position.” She arched an eyebrow at him and turned then to her lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! Just saw that we crossed the 200,000 words line (counting all parts) ...Yeah :D
> 
> Are you still with me?  
> I´d love to know what you think at the moment. Is it still interesting or getting boring? You want to read more? Does it take too long in general?  
> Just you know, I finished the next part two days ago, at least mostly. Like always it still needs editing and anyway only when I post something it has reached its final stage. But, yeah...if you want to read more, there´s indeed still more :)


	10. Chapter 10

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

With racing heart, Severus knocked at Remus´ office door. Remus peered only a moment later through the gap he had opened.

“Severus…”

“I don´t want to see him.” Rose´s voice sounded from somewhere inside the room.

Severus looked pleadingly at his friend and with a sigh Remus stepped aside and let him in.

“No! I said I don´t want to see you!” Rose jumped up and wiped angrily over her face as new tears dropped down on her cheeks.

“Please. I was a fool for saying that I don´t care what you think.”

“There´s nothing to add and now you can go.” She stood there, again with crossed arms and a determined look on her face.

“Rose…”

“Leave me alone,” Rose snapped, setting her jaw.

“If that´s really what you want,” Severus said blankly and waited a moment, but as Rose showed no reaction, he curled his lips and left.

Remus frowned heavily.

“Don´t. Don´t do that. You might be hurt and you might be right about it, but consider if it´s worth risking a breach.”

Rose closed her eyes, shaking her head slowly.

“Then why are you still here?” Remus asked and shooed her out of the room.

Rose hurried after Severus and saw the seam of his robes swing around the next corner. She ran.

“Severus!”

A bit too fast, she slid around the corner and saw him already take the next.

“Severus! Wait!” Damn, he must´ve heard her. Had he really to ignore her now just to make his point clear? He even walked faster.

“Severus Snape, get back here now!”

Not only Severus stood still now and turned to stare at her. Slightly panicked Rose swallowed, so much to behave like a normal student. Menacingly fast Severus came back, grabbed her upper arm and pulled her closer.

“Are you completely mad?” he hissed mere centimetres from her face.

“I have to be when you consider that I love you.”

Her words had been only an irritated whisper, but Severus´ face brightened visibly as she said them. His grip loosened and the terse posture of his shoulders relaxed. But otherwise nothing happened, not even that he stepped away, if anything he came closer, his free hand touched softly the crook of her neck. The moment for itself was perfect and would they´ve been alone, Severus would´ve kissed her but they weren´t. With the realisation where they were, he snapped back into reality and took a hasty step back.

“Detention!” he snarled coldly and dragged Rose along as he marched towards the dungeons.

In the safety of his office, he released her. Oh this scenery was horrible familiar, better not to mess up this time.

“Rose…I really haven´t meant to say that I don´t care about your opinion and…” Severus started but broke off as Rose wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I´m still upset with you, but I didn´t want you to leave. I missed you too much.” Her words ghosted over his lips before she kissed him.

Like so often his thoughts stopped and the only thing that mattered was Rose in his arms and her lips on his.

“I will for now just assume that your hearing was awful and that I strained your already thin nerves only more with my actions,” she said as she stopped kissing him and smiled. “And now see that this ridiculous amount of clothes comes off of you and lie on your bed.” She looked up from under her eyelashes to him with glittering eyes and a devilish grin on her lips. Severus half chuckled, half moaned at her words but started promptly towards his bedroom. As Rose followed him he lay already split-naked in the middle of his bed, waiting for whatever she wanted to do.

***

“You know you could just as well shower here,” Severus said and watched Rose getting dressed.

“You have no idea how much I want to stay. I feel never safer as in your arms.” Rose looked longingly back at Severus. “But I can´t stay, can I?”

“Rose,” Severus sat up and pulled her closer. “Stay. We deal with eventual gossip when it comes.”

Rose closed her eyes and sighed. It would be not the first time she didn´t come back to the dormitory, but no matter that she and Lavender were getting along really good now, Lavender was also getting suspicious again.

“I tell you what you do now. You´ll kiss me, then you´ll go and pack a bag with everything you´ll need for the night and then you´ll come back down here. If someone asks, you stayed overnight in the infirmary. The reason is yours to choose,” Severus said with a grin and waited.

“Sounds like a perfect plan,” Rose grinned too and bent down to comply with Severus´ suggestion. But Severus had other ideas and flipped them over, his hands sneaked under her shirt and his mouth trailed hotly over her jaw.

“I changed my mind. Don´t go,” he breathed and nibbled on her ear, distracting her enough to open her trousers again.

“No, no, no. Stop it. I already missed dinner. I need to go and at least show that I´m still alive.” She pushed him away and got up, even if only reluctant. Knowing she would never succeed to go when she saw his eyes, she didn´t turn around as she walked to the door and said, “I´ll be back before you really notice that I´m gone.”

Chuckling, she finally left and couldn´t help the grin that glued itself to her face. She´d stay with Severus. The whole night.

“Oh, her mood is improved,” Draco grinned as Rose entered the common room.

“Indeed,” Rose said and raised in a perfect impersonation of Snape her eyebrow. Ron, Draco and Hermione laughed and even Neville chuckled lowly. “Sorry I was a nag…But whatever. I´m off for a nice, long shower. Good night,” she said audible enough for everyone to hear and kissed Draco on the cheek. “I´ll need your help. I´ll shower and then come back down with my cloak, can you open the portrait for me?” she whispered.

Draco nodded and gave her a knowing look before Rose turned and hopped lightly upstairs.

***

“Oi, is that a love bite?”

Rose flinched as she heard Lavender suddenly behind her, just as she was about to grab her invisibility cloak. She nudged her bag with the foot under her bed and looked up.

“What?”

“There on your neck.” Lavender pointed and grinned.

Rose looked in the mirror and frowned. Damned man, not again!

“Uh, well…I don´t know?”

“You don´t know? You should know if someone sucked you there. Jeez, Rosy! Why haven´t you told me you have a boyfriend?” Lavender´s nose almost touched Rose´s neck as she eyed the bruise closer.

“Yeah, well…It´s not really official. We´ve seen each other only a few times.” Rose shrugged and turned away.

“Who is it?” Lavender slouched on Rose´s bed and grinned.

“I...Sorry, Lavender, I can´t tell you. I´m not even sure that there really is something between us.” Rose hoped dearly Lavender wouldn´t ask further. What should she tell her, anyway?

“So, that´s not Snape´s work?”

Rose huffed in discontent. “Do we start this now again?”

“Just asking. Besides you two act strange around each other. You order him to a private talk in front of the whole school and later Seamus says he saw how Snape nearly kissed you in a corridor…Come on, I know better.”

Rose was actually tempted to tell her, but it was still Lavender she talked to, so probably better not. She forced herself to chuckle.

“I know it must´ve looked like Seamus told you, but I swear it wasn´t like that. Snape and I…that is more like between me and Remus or Sirius and with them is definitely nothing.”

“Uh gross…Don´t tell me you see Snape as a father substitute.” Lavender made a disgusted face and Rose saw her chance.

“What? No definitely not. And it isn´t how I see Remus or Sirius either.”

“An uncle then? Ugh…that doesn´t make it any better.” Lavender wrinkled her nose.

Rose shrugged casually, uncle was maybe close enough, at least for Sirius and Remus. Still not correct but why should she try to name it? The men were her family that was enough explanation. Severus, though, wouldn´t be too thrilled with his new status.

“Lavender? It´s late and I…” Rose glanced to the door. Lavender followed her gaze and suddenly grinned again.

“Ah, so that´s why you showered and dressed up. You have a date. Naughty girl, after curfew. Tut-tut.” Lavender laughed. “Don´t worry, go and have fun. I think we won´t need to wait for you?”

“I don´t think so,” Rose grinned and hurried to leave Gryffindor tower.

***

She was so happy to go back to Severus that she forgot about the uncle issue immediately after slipping through the portrait hole. However, she remembered quickly as she re-emerged from the dungeons the next day for lunch.  The whole castle already buzzed with the news that Rose considered Snape an uncle figure.

Remus stopped next to her and gazed wordless down before he sighed and took the free chair at Rose´s left side.

“I´m not sure that was clever,” he whispered, leaning close to her ear.

“Why not? It makes everything easier.” Rose frowned.

“You draw attention to you. Now everyone will watch you and gauge your behaviour around each other even more closely. You didn´t do the two of you a favour.”

Remus stroked

over Rose´s cheek, regarding her once again silently before he left. Rose peered down at her meal and pulled the chocolate dessert close, shovelling spoon after spoon into her mouth and mulled over Remus´ words.

In the end she excused herself quickly and left without her friends. She walked down to the lake and threw stones into the water as footsteps came closer. Intent on ignoring whoever was there, Rose continued to pick up stones and throw them as far as possible.

“Can you flip them?” Elise Driscoll asked softly and with a smile.

Rose turned and stared at the other woman. She was really the last one she´d expected here, what must´ve been rather obvious.

“I had a conversation with the Headmaster,” she said in way of explaining her presence.

Rose made a noncommittal sound and flipped the next pebble over the surface of the lake, answering Elise´s question with it.

“He asked me if I´m interested on a counselling position here at Hogwarts.”

That attracted Rose´s attention. “Would that mean you´d be always here?”

“No, not always. I wouldn´t live in the castle. But my husband and I would move to Hogsmeade and I´d be here for set hours.” Elise took a flat pebble and flipped it. It hopped five times over the lake and then sunk with a little splash. “What´s wrong with you?” she asked into the silence, looking at Rose.

Rose looked over the lake. Talking to Elise was so simple, she really was the perfect audience. But could Rose tell her everything?

“If I´d tell you something it would stay between us, right?”

“If we´d say this is a counselling appointment, yes of course then anything you tell me would be subjected to secrecy. Even if you´d tell me about a crime,” she said lightly and smiled.

Rose flopped down on the grass and wrapped her arms around her knees. Elise sat next to her and whispered a privacy charm. The magic tingled around them for a moment and then everything went back to normal. Rose peered up.

“You can tell me everything you want and no one can eavesdrop on us,” Elise said and waited.

“I think I made a mistake and I don´t know how to correct it without making it worse.” Rose chewed on her bottom lip, but Elise kept silent. “We spoke about Professor Snape, remember?”

Elise nodded.

“And about my boyfriend.”

Again the healer nodded and Rose hesitated but then said, “It´s him. Severus is my boyfriend.”

If Elise was surprised she didn´t show it, instead she nodded calmly. “And being with him and being here in school together is a problem that only adds to your churning emotions.”

Suddenly Rose sobbed and buried her face between her knees. “I just want to be with him…”

It took some time, but Elise managed to calm Rose and brought her to talk further. In the end, Rose had retold her complete story, started at the moment she´d looked in Severus´ Pensive.

“And gossip never stops, but all I want is to be close to Severus and that he makes my nightmares stop.”

Elise regarded her for a long moment in complete silence. “Why do you feel so safe with Severus? What's different in his presence so you don´t dream?”

Rose looked unsure and shrugged.

“I´m asking because we both know it´s impossible to stay with him overnight at the current moment, at least on a regular basis. Sometimes that might work but not for your everyday life. So maybe we find a way to transfer the reason why you feel protected to your bed so you can sleep without Severus but with the feeling of safety.”

Rose considered that for a moment but she couldn´t think of anything, except, “It´s when I lie in his arms and can feel him. But we can´t copy that, can we?”

Elise laughed. “No. But what about his scent? Do you think it would calm you, too?”

Rose nodded and smiled as she thought about it.

“Very good. Why don´t you ask him to give you an item he wore that smells like him. You can put a stasis spell on it so the scent won´t evaporate.”

The smile on Rose´s face crumpled as she thought about why she´d been in a bad mood anyway.

“I don´t know if I can ask him for something of him,” she said unsure. “I´m not even sure he wants to see me.”

“Because of the uncle issue?”

Rose tugged at a flower on the grass, not meeting Elise´s gaze.

“I really don’t think it will bother him too much. Certainly Mister Lupin is right, it could cause some new trouble, but considering your relationship, it´s difficult anyway. There´s no easy way for you and people will watch you regardless.” Elise touched Rose´s shoulder gently and smiled as Rose looked up.

After a moment of mutual silence, Rose stood up, brushing grass from her clothes. “Thank you for listening.”

“That´s my job. I´ll see you next Tuesday,” Elise said with a wink and lifted the privacy charm.

***

Rose knocked softly and entered after some grumpy noises. Severus didn't look up from a stack of papers he frowned at. 

“I´m with you in a minute …” he said distant-minded and scratched his neck.

Rose cuddled with her legs under her body in an armchair and watched him. So Elise had been right. She really hadn´t needed to worry about Severus. If he´d be cross with her, he´d already told her so. He was no one who held back with his opinion, so actually it was quite calming that he still hadn´t looked over to her.

After five minutes of waiting Rose got bored and started playing with her wand. She turned it between her fingers and finally wrapped one strand of her hair around it. Without the conscious intention to do so, the hair turned a pale shade of blue. Rose flinched and pulled her wand away but then a thought struck her and she brought it back to her head. Holding her hair in a bunch together she tipped her wand against it and watched it glow for a second before it turned a vibrant red.

Rose peered over to Severus, but he hadn´t yet noticed her little experiment. Procuring a small mirror, Rose eyed herself critically. Well, everyone who told her she´d look like her mother only with her father´s hair wasn´t that right. Granted, she bore similarities to Lily but she wasn´t her copy, there were still unmistakably features that belonged to James.

After changing her hair colour and the colour of her shirt, so it would match better, Rose waited fifteen minutes longer, but the only change was the frown on Severus´ face that deepened the more he read and the mumbling that was only interrupted by repeated sighs. He looked tired and Rose thought it was time to distract his mind, besides she really was bored.

She walked over and rubbed over his shoulders. Severus hummed in appreciation and Rose pressed harder and felt his tensed muscles slowly relax.

“Blimey you´re tense,” she murmured and squeezed the muscles of his neck and the crook where it joined his shoulders.

“Your hands are magnificent,” Severus sighed and closed for a moment his eyes. “But I´m afraid you´re distracting me too much. I need to finish this.” He gestured towards the parchments.

“What is it?” Rose bent forwards and peered over his shoulder.

“Actually Dumbledore´s paperwork, but he left earlier and will not be back for the next two weeks, most likely.”

“So you´re Headmaster for now?”

“It seems so and of course the old coot leaves nothing but a mess. I swear he tries to test me or wants to drive me mad.” Severus groaned.

Rose placed her chin at Severus´ head and wrapped her arms loosely around him to let them rest on his chest.  Severus took one of her hands and kissed it softly while reading again.

Rose didn´t want to spy, but she glimpsed at the paper and saw some of the topics that had been discussed in the meeting today.

“Professor Grubbly-Plank leaves us?”

“Not completely by her own choice. She had an accident in the forest Friday evening. Hagrid found her. She´s in St. Mungo´s and recovering, but she won´t return."

"No one said a word," Rose frowned.

"Yes, quite astounding. For once we succeeded in keeping a secret in these walls," Severus chuckled darkly. "However, we need a new Professor for the subject. Hagrid will cover some of the classes, but to be honest, I don´t want him to teach it completely and surprisingly Albus agrees.”

“Hmmm, I know he´s a bit…special.” Rose chuckled softly. “You have an idea already?”

Severus shook his head. 

“Well maybe then I have…What about Charlie? He knows a lot about creatures and I´m sure he would be happy to come here. He and Oliver stay in England anyway because of Teddy.”

“Weasley…” Severus nodded, thinking. “I´ll speak with Minerva about it and send an owl.”

“But I thought she doesn't want to be involved anymore?” Rose shifted behind Severus´ chair.

“Minerva? Yes and no. She has much more experience and is still open for questions…I need to talk to her anyway after she showed up halfway through the meeting today and told us about an idea. She suggested to hire more teachers so that always two or three are in charge of one subject. Foremost the core subjects which have the most classes. Minerva wants only NEWT´s classes in general for the future and considered it worth a thought if other subjects might follow suit. So we could split subjects up.”

“I don´t know a lot about school politics, but it sounds reasonable. It would also be easier to cover classes so the lessons wouldn´t be cancelled.”

“One of her arguments too. I see you understand why we consider it. Anyway, I really don´t want to share my Potions position…”

“But you would have more time for other things…your girlfriend for example.” Rose grinned and snuggled closer.

“Oh my girlfriend…And there I thought she´s my niece now.” Though Rose couldn’t see his face she knew he scowled.

“Lavender virtually cornered me and I thought it would help us…”

Rose inched a bit away and Severus turned to apparently retort something but stopped dead with opened mouth and gawped at her.

Rose watched in amusement his reaction.

"Are you all right?" she asked teasingly and closed his mouth with one finger under his chin.

"You...you...Merlin! What have you done?" Unable to invert his gaze he stared further.

"You don´t like it? I can change it back." Rose shrugged casually.

"No!...Yes!...I mean it suits you, really, but I think…I…eh…like your natural colour more.” He reached up and combed one hand through her hair. “I´m glad you don´t resemble your mother as much as I thought. I don´t think I could stand kissing you like this and mistakenly confuse you for her.”

"So, you want to kiss me?" Rose grinned and bit playfully her bottom lip.

Severus smirked. He got hold of her hips and pulled her on his lap. Rose giggled but stopped as he buried both hands in her hair and stared at her with his intense, dark eyes.

He came closer but didn´t kiss her. His lips hovered only a breath away, she could already feel their warmth on her own lips, but Severus took instead his wand and touched it to her hair.

“Finite incantatem.”

Her hair changed back to black and Severus wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her as close as possible. Rose smiled softly and stroked one of his cheeks before she gently brushed her lips over his.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of smut...

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

The students sat at lunch as the doors to the Great Hall opened and two men entered. A small boy, who looked with big eyes around, walked between them, stumbling forward on small legs.

Severus stood up and walked towards the newly arrived as the small boy shrieked in delight and hurried on wobbly legs closer. Shortly before he reached Severus, he tripped and fell with an audible thud to the floor. A collective sound of sympathy waved through the hall. The boy snivelled, gazed with teary eyes up and lifted his arms towards Severus.

Rose watched the scene with increasing amusement. She knew how fond Severus was of Teddy, though he would never admit it openly, only that the boy demanded that now loudly.

“Sev! Up! Sev!“ Teddy sobbed heartbreakingly still holding his small arms up to Severus.

To everyone´s surprise the Potions Master and current Headmaster of Hogwarts knelt down beside the kid and sat him on his knee. Gently he brushed some dust off the boy´s clothes.

“Well, young man, you have to be more careful,” he said seriously but couldn´t keep the little smile from his face as Teddy just flung his arms around his neck and giggled happily.

“Da!” Teddy gestured with open awe at the ceiling.

Severus stood up, scooping the little boy into his arms and followed the direction of Teddy's hand with his eyes.

“It´s magic,” Severus whispered and the boy giggled again. Rose almost melted with the sweetness of it.

“Severus, good to see you!” Charlie grinned lopsided “And sorry for my misbehaving son.”

He plucked Teddy from Severus who was about to answer him as the boy started crying.

“Teddy, shush, hey buddy what´s wrong?” Charlie shook him softly, but it was obvious what was wrong, with the kid reaching his small hands again towards Severus.

With a small clicking sound of his tongue and a raised eyebrow, Severus accepted the boy back who calmed instantly and started playing with the many buttons of Severus´ robes.

“Just one moment, Theodore.” His voice was strict what made Teddy look up surprised but didn´t stop him from grabbing Severus´ nose followed by sweet giggling and more babbling.

At the Head Table Severus tried to give Teddy back to his parents, but again he cried immediately. In private Severus had easily accepted his momentary role as uncle but not in front of the whole school and even less when he was currently Headmaster and had to announce something. His gaze wavered over the Gryffindor table.

Rose understood the searching gaze promptly and hurried over.

“Hey buddy!” She grinned at her godson. Teddy stopped tugging at Severus´ cravat and turned towards her. “Coming with me?” Rose opened her arms and the small boy all but launched himself at her. Severus mouthed a ‘thank you’ as well as Oliver and Charlie and Rose took Teddy with her to her house table where he immediately grabbed for food.

“Blimey, he´s a Weasley…” Rose sighed in played annoyance and made her friends and everyone else around her laugh.

Severus straightened discretely his clothes before he cleared his throat and addressed the students. 

“As everyone should know by now Professor Grubbly-Plank has been wounded at the start of term which led to her decision not to return to Hogwarts. But thankfully we found a replacement in Professor Weasley who will join the staff starting on Monday as well as his husband also Professor Weasley who will teach Charms whenever Professor Flitwick will be indisposed. The young man who came with them is their son Theodore who-”

“Teddy,” Charlie interrupted with a stern gaze at Severus.

“Very well…Their son Teddy who will live in the castle with them. Please refrain from any stupidity even if you only mean to entertain the kid.”

Whispering started as well as cheering mostly from Gryffindor table and the place where Rose and her friends sat.

The teachers started talking and lunch went on. Teddy tried loads of different foods but soon rubbed his eyes and ears.

“You´re tired, Teddy?” Rose asked softly and cradled the boy in her arms. At first he snuggled closer, but then his gaze fell on the Head Table and with new energy he wriggled forcefully on Rose´s lap.

“Sev!”

“You want to uncle Sev? Ok, let´s see what he thinks about it,” she whispered.

“Good luck!” Ron chuckled and patted Teddy´s head.

With the kid on her hip, Rose walked over to the teachers.

“He loves you more than me.” She shrugged and tried to hold the struggling child.

“Charlie, please, calm down your son.” Severus aimed for a stern voice but failed miserably and ended with more a plea than anything else.

“Sorry Severus he wants to you, when one of us takes him now, he´ll only cry more…” Oliver grinned apologetically but seemed not even a little sorry and returned to his conversation with Professor Flitwick.

Grumbling, Severus reached out and took Teddy from Rose only that the boy now clutched a handful of Rose´s hair.

“Seems you´re both in it now,” Charlie chuckled, trying in vain to look serious.

“Yeah, hilarious,” Severus muttered. “Oh come on, Rose, sit down already.”

By now everyone followed the events at the far end of the hall with utmost interest.

Rose prised Teddy´s hands from her hair and hurried around the table, accompanied by loud sobs and wailing cries. She sat next to Severus and had to scoot as close as possible as little Teddy took one of her fingers and held it surprisingly tight while he cuddled into Severus´ arm.

“You can´t deny that he´s the sweetest thing on earth.” Rose smiled lovingly down at the boy.

“He is, maybe only except for you,” Severus whispered and just in time willed his facial muscles into stopping the goofy grin before it broke free.

“Softy,” Sirius scoffed from behind Rose but a dull hmpf-sound indicated that Remus had cuffed him to keep his teasing for himself. A few students laughed, but a raised eyebrow from Severus silenced everyone effectively. However, it didn´t stop them from gawping interested.

“Actually I think you´d look good as parents,” Minerva said lowly and made everyone in earshot look at her and Rose blush. But before anyone else could have a say to this, Severus hissed lowly.

“Shush now. He´s just falling asleep.”

Once Teddy was sound asleep, Severus handed him over to Oliver.

“Can we book you?” Charlie asked honestly. “I don´t think he ever dropped off this fast.”

Severus looked blankly before a low chuckle rumbled in his throat that made the students closest to the Head Table gaze over in confusion.

“I´m afraid I have no say over my leisure time, but feel free to make an appointment with Rose.”

“Idiot,” Rose laughed and without thinking slapped his arm. Instantly she felt sorry, but Severus only huffed.

“Sorry,” she mumbled and peered sheepishly up as Severus turned and his onyx eyes stared at her.

“We´ll discuss this in 15 minutes in my quarters after I showed these gentlemen to their new habitat,” he said pointedly.

“Oh don´t bother, just **discuss** it now with her.” Minerva said straight-faced but with a wicked twinkle in her eyes that rivalled one of Dumbledore’s trademark gazes.

“But, I-“

“No back talking, Severus! And now shoo!” She waved her hands dismissively and arched a very high eyebrow as he made no attempts to stand up.

“Fine. I´m on my way.” While going they heard him grumbling, who actually was in charge at the moment.

“You too Rose, off you go…” McGonagall flicked her hands towards the door.

Severus rushed with usual stride and billowing cloak away and Rose followed slower and slightly unsure.

“You are aware they do everything but discussing anything, yes?” Sirius frowned at his colleague.

“Of course I am, I´m not daft,” McGonagall snipped.

“I´m sure they need it as little as they see each other.” Remus looked thoughtful. “What reminds me, it´s Saturday, love, and we both have no detentions or anything else…” A mischievous grin spread over his face.

“Oh you naughty thing,” Sirius purred.

“Please! Go to your quarter´s first” Minerva made a face. “And you two please follow me.” She gestured to Charlie and Oliver.

***

“Slapping the Deputy Headmaster in front of the entire staff and students…” Severus growled lowly, approaching Rose slowly and with a predatory grin until she stood with her back against the wall in front of his office.

Rose swallowed in anticipation and was unable to invert her gaze. She licked her lips while her eyes were fixed on Severus´ mouth.

With a firm grip he grasped her hips and lifted her up against the wall, pressing his body against her. Rose wrapped her legs around him. She felt so very alive in just this moment with Severus holding her and her blood rushing through her veins, her heart beating frantically in her chest.

His breath stroked hot over her skin as he bent his head to her neck and sucked with a possessive growl on her throat.

Rose knew there would be a mark later, but right now she didn´t mind. And being still in the open of the corridor made the whole situation more arousing than it should be.

“Gods Severus…I want you,” Rose moaned and bucked against him. His answer was a low groan and claiming her lips. Willingly Rose welcomed his tongue in her mouth, gasped against it and threaded her fingers into his hair.

Severus parted only long enough from Rose´s mouth to rasp the password to his office. As they were through, he reclaimed her lips and carried her to his bedroom. His usually so controlled divesting of their clothes fell victim to his impatience. He pulled feverishly at Rose´s shirt. Then he groaned in frustration as it didn´t went quick enough and simply spelled every article of clothing away, leaving them suddenly naked and gasping as their skin touched.

Rose arched against Severus, panting into his ear.

“Please,” she whined and nibbled at his earlobe. With her legs around his waist she pulled him closer, directed his throbbing erection where she wanted him to be.

To her surprise he straightened first so that he knelt between her legs and pulled her on her waist closer. Rose looked up at him but closed her eyes as she felt Severus entering her. She dug her fingers into the sheets for hold and her heels into his arse.

“Gods,” Severus moaned and watched Rose´s changing expression. Her eyes closed and her lips parted while moans and gasps escaped her. Her back described a perfect bow as she arched from the bed, moving desperately to create more friction for herself.

“Severus…Please…I need…”

To hear his name so sultry mingled with her moans nearly pushed him over the edge. His thrusts became more erratic and Rose moaned louder.

Severus flexed his hands on her hips and then took one away to stroke over her stomach. Rose arched even more into his touch and mewled as he stroked further down, placing his thumb over her clit. He didn´t move his hand but rubbed with each thrust over this sensitive spot of her. Her moans increased in volume as she tightened around him, her climax seizing her. She gasped, breathless, his name, sending him to follow her.

He held her close as he sunk down and met her mouth in a heated kiss. A shudder ran through his body and involuntary, he snapped his hips forward rubbing again over her oversensitive sex. Rose moaned surprised and clutched at his back, her nails cutting into his skin.

Rose trembled and pulled away slightly. Severus stilled immediately.

“Sorry,” he said huskily.

“Are you still…?”

“Gods, yes. I don´t think I was so hard ever before. I…oh,” he moaned as Rose moved under him and circled her hips.

“Then don´t stop,” she whispered into his ear. “Unless you want to.” She rolled her hips up and watched his face twist with the sensation.

After the first few thrusts, Severus flipped them and grabbed Rose´s hips as she rolled them up and down. It took only an embarrassingly short time until Severus felt his second orgasm approach, but though Rose moaned and panted, she was not ready. Knowing he wouldn´t last much longer, he reached down and stroked her again.

Rose moaned a soft and elongated “Oh” and leant more back, giving Severus better access. Her mouth gaped open and she rocked in frantic movements against him. She heard herself babble incoherent words and half sentences while Severus massaged her clitoris. The sensation was almost too much to bear.

Just as her orgasm started to build up, Severus sat up and pressed her against him, his hands flat on her back.

The changed angle was all it took, for both of them. Severus buried his face in the crook of her neck and cried his release out while Rose came with a moan that sounded more like a sob. Panting and sweating, she sagged against his chest. However, every touch was too much right now and Rose slid from Severus lap and lay beside him. As he joined her, she put her head above his heart and listened to its slowly calming beating.

“I should slap you more often,” Rose chuckled lowly and tugged carefully on one of his nipples.

“And how do we explain why we leave every time immediately after that?”

Rose looked up and saw his amused smirk.

“Oh…Because you are a very thoughtful uncle you need to put me over your knee and spank me for my misbehaviour.”

“Maybe I should indeed do so the next time.” He smirked and gave her a small clap on her backside.

“Blimey, just imagine the talk.” Rose laughed and imagined Lavender´s face, laughing even more.

Severus tightened his arm around her and closed his eyes. He felt thoroughly spent and relaxed and planned for the rest of the day to stay exactly like this with Rose in his arms.

***

Again the girl left more or less with him together and no one seemed to think this strange. Quite the opposite. It seemed as if certain members of the staff even approved of that. Not even her godfather seemed bothered by it.

What if the rumours where true in the end? She needed to know.

Unnoticed from her colleagues, Professor Burbage slipped out of the Great Hall and followed Rose and Severus. She assumed them down in the dungeons on their way to his office. Blimey, the girl had slapped Severus and she had sat almost on his lap, alongside this toddler.

Damn it! What should she do if the gossip proved to be true?

Charity rounded the last corner to the corridor to Severus´ office and stumbled backwards.

No! That just couldn´t be true. A pang of jealousy gripped her heart as she saw Severus and Rose. She heard their moans and Rose´s needy whimpering.

Unable to walk away, she peered further around the corner until Severus carried Rose into his office and closed the door.

She should go now. She really shouldn´t stay. But she had to know how far they went. Maybe it was just the moment? And this hadn´t happened before?

Charity was not silly, but for now she decided to act a bit stupid and followed the student and her colleague secretly into his office. Quietly she tiptoed through his private chambers and eavesdropped on the door to his bedroom. Merlin, this was so wrong. But the noises sounding from behind the door were unmistakable and somehow glued her to the ground, made her unable to leave and grant them the privacy they surely assumed to have.

It felt like hours that she stood there and listened, finally she heard them shifting and talking.

Charity swallowed dryly and crept out of Severus´ chambers, still unsure what to do next. Her first stop was her classroom where she slumped into her chair, brooding silently for some while. Her mind replayed what she had seen and then heard. Oh goodness, Severus slept with a student. And not any student but Rose Potter.

Burbage jumped up and looked out of the window. Who could she tell? Her gaze roamed over Hogwarts´ grounds and finally reached the greenhouses.

Yes, she would listen.

"Pomona? Are you here?” Burbage called into greenhouse three.

“Yes, dear, over here with the Fanged Geranium.” Professor Sprout looked up as she saw her friend coming closer and furrowed her brow as she noticed her upset appearance. “Did something happen?”

“Have you seen Severus?”

“Not since lunch. Why?” Sprout tilted her head slightly.

The younger witch looked for a moment hesitantly before she blurted, “All the rumours are true. Severus sleeps with the Potter girl.”

Sprout kept quiet and just pulled her protective cloves off, slowly laying them aside.

“You´re not surprised…” Charity observed. Her eyes widened. “You knew it? And never said a word? Even though I poured out my heart to you all the time and even came to you last year as everyone heard him with someone?” Burbage looked incredulously at her friend.

“Charity…What should I have said?” Sprout rounded the workbench between them.

“The truth! And don´t talk it down and try to reassure me that…that it doesn´t mean I had no chance.”

“Listen! It is not my duty to gossip about fellow teachers and their private lives and no! Not even to a friend. You should go to him and talk. It´s really overdue.”

“Who else knows about it?” Charity looked pleadingly up.

"Does it matter?" Sprout asked and regarded her friend with a pitying glance.

"Oh fine, don't tell me!" Burbage turned abruptly around and stormed towards the castle.

"For Heaven's sake..." Sprout mumbled irritated and followed the other woman. "Charity, wait!"

She had heard Pomona, but no she wouldn't wait. Quickly she made her way through the castle and to Minerva McGonagall´s office, unfortunately the woman was not there. Charity considered her options and trailed back to wait in her own quarters. On her way downstairs she saw someone in dark green robes disappear around a corner. Charity quickened her steps but caught only up with the person as she´d followed her through two floors. Blimey, this woman was quicker than one would think.

"Minerva! I need to talk to you!" she shouted as she saw the older woman at the far end of the corridor. Professor McGonagall turned and waited impatiently.

"I'm sorry, but I'm on my way to Albus. He´s back and..."

"Oh that's even better. Let's go then."

“Is something the matter? You appear flustered.” Minerva glanced sideways as she walked with her colleague up to Albus Dumbledore´s office. They had just entered as a wheezing Professor Sprout stumbled in behind them.

“Ladies! What an honour to be welcomed by three of you.” Dumbledore smiled blindingly.

“Did you know about it, sir?” Charity started without preamble. Professors Sprout and McGonagall gasped scandalized.

“Know what?”

“That Severus has an affair with a student,” she huffed and placed her hands on her hips while staring over the desk.

“Ah I see. Finally it needs to be discussed.” Dumbledore never stopped smiling and gestured for everyone to sit down.

“You knew…and you two, too. And no one thinks this is inappropriate?” Burbage asked short to shouting.

“Charity, dear, Severus is no man for stupidities and Rose is of age,” McGonagall said softly.

“No stupidity? What else do you call that?” She shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest, staring from one to the other in disbelieve.

“Love, Professor Burbage. I call it love.” Dumbledore looked serious. “I think we should untangle this matter.” With a flick of his wand he evoked a Patronus and sent it with a whispered instruction away.

“Tea, while we wait?” he asked the Professors and already conjured a pot and four cups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you tell me what you think, please?  
> I really love the opinion of my readers and every nice comment helps me through chapters which are hard to write or the times I can´t convince the words to come and let me write them.
> 
> Much love to everyone following this story, you´re amazing :)


	12. Chapter 12

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_“Severus! Please come as soon as possible to my office. Bring Rose with you.”_

The phoenix vanished and left Rose and Severus with racing hearts and slightly disorientated. They had slept cuddled up on Severus´ bed until the message from Dumbledore had arrived.

“So, he´s back…And I had hoped for a relaxed afternoon in bed,” Severus sighed groggily and rubbed over his face before he squinted at the clock.

“Oh please, let us ignore him.” Rose wrapped her arms around Severus´ warm body and pressed her face into his chest.

“We cannot simply ignore the Headmaster, besides I think it´s important when he wants to see both of us.” Actually Severus was glad that Albus was back finally. He was more than ready to give the old man´s position back and be able to concentrate on his own work again.

“I´m not even showered…I guess we smell like each other.” Rose looked up with her bottom lip stuck forward in a sulking expression.

“Hmmm…I like how you smell and even more how you taste.” Severus smirked and pulled her up into a slow kiss. Just as Rose relaxed again, he broke apart and stood up. “Come on! Let´s go.”

Grumbling, Rose threw a pillow at Severus and hit his head.

“Hey!” Severus turned and the second pillow hit him in the face. He launched forward and Rose squeaked and giggled as she jumped up and ran to the other side of the bed. But she had underestimated Severus´ swiftness and soon he caught her with one arm around her waist and tugged her against his body. Rose wriggled in his arms until she could reach behind her and wrapped one hand around his cock.

“Let´s stay here,” she purred lowly and was satisfied as she felt him response to her touch. She stroked firmer and a shiver ran down her body as Severus moaned and his hand slid down over her belly and further down between her legs.

“You´ll be the death of me,” he groaned and turned Rose around. In a swift movement he placed her on the chest of drawers.

Rose clutched desperately on him while he took nonchalantly advantage of what she was offering him. It was rough, messy and quick and more than satisfying, leaving both of them breathless and sweaty.

“Uh Merlin…” Rose panted. “You think Dumbledore comes looking for us when we don´t go?”

“Whatever…as long as it´s not right now.” Severus pecked her on the cheek and pulled away. “I suggest we better hurry now.”

This time Rose didn´t argue and just followed his example and got dressed. As she was ready she turned.

“Stay like this. You look fantastic.”

Severus was completely dressed except for his coat and robes. He hesitated shortly before he nodded.

“On your responsibility.”

“I don´t mind. But if it would be really my responsibility you wouldn´t wear this waistcoat and cravat either.” She looked pointedly at the items in question.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Slow. I don´t want to give anyone a heart attack.”

At a comfortable pace, they walked up to Dumbledore´s office, spending the whole way in relaxed silence.

Severus frowned as he saw Dumbledore and the three women. Rose at his side looked confused and tried still to flatten her ruffled hair. A fleeting grin flickered over Severus´ face. She looked even more tempting than usual.

“Welcome you two. I hope I didn´t interrupt your afternoon plans?” Dumbledore´s eyes twinkled and Rose would swear he knew exactly that and what he had interrupted.

“No bother at all. What can we do for you?” Severus glanced again around and noticed Minerva´s worried expression. That always was a bad sign.

Dumbledore gestured to Severus and Rose to sit down and summoned two more cups.

“I´m afraid the number of people knowing about you increases.” He looked over his cup and briefly glanced at Professor Burbage. “Though, I hear the students´ gossip lessened after Rose **straightened** things.” He chuckled but became quickly serious again. “I think you should bring the rest of the staff in on this.”

“I thought the less people are informed the better,” Severus said critically.

“When the other staff members are informed as well, it might be easier to handle the students and the rumours. It´s still a sensitive topic after all.”

Burbage snorted and stared with an indefinable look at Severus who quirked his eyebrows.

“Professor Burbage, do you have anything to say about it?” Severus asked coldly.

“Oh, so we´re back to formal addresses, **Professor** Snape?” she huffed.

“I can´t remember it was different at any point.” A slight irritation was audible in Severus´ voice and Charity Burbage was seemingly all about and ready to pick a fight as she reddened and opened her mouth for a retort.

“Please, would you refrain from quarrelling?” Dumbledore peered over his spectacles.

“Of course. Just one thing,” Severus said curtly. “I know exactly why we are here, that is why **you** are here.” He looked at Burbage. “And I absolutely do not appreciate anyone intruding my privacy. Therefore my office and my private chambers are warded against unauthorized entry **and** eavesdropping.” Severus curled his lips. Rose made a small, curious sound and shot Severus an inquiring glance, but otherwise kept quiet.

“You?…Charity!” Professor Sprout shrieked scandalized. And all eyes darted to the Muggle Studies Professor.

Rose felt awkward. How much had Burbage seen or heard? She looked again at Severus who arched one eyebrow in contempt.

 “So,” Severus said. “First you snooped around and then you went straight to the Headmaster to blow the whistle about what you’ve seen. Why don´t you look happy? Didn´t happen what you´d expected?” Severus snipped and sneered.

“Happy that you´re with another woman?” Burbage cried, tears streaking down her face.

 “Oh my,” Dumbledore sighed and conjured a box of tissues.

Severus sighed, too, but with a shake of his head. “Charity, when you´re interested in me you should have talked to me instead of only scattering vague hints over the years,” he said.

“I know,” Charity said miserably but stopped crying. “But you never reacted to my hints.”

Severus said nothing. He leant back in his chair and looked at his colleague with an considering expression.

“Well, now that we have found the main problem,” McGonagall stood up, “I take you can sort this out in private and we´re finished now?”

“No. Heavens! You can´t really approve of this.” Charity shook her head in disbelieve and eyed mostly Dumbledore and McGonagall.

“Professor Burbage, I already told you that this is in fact the matter and though I feel sorry that you´re heartbroken I´d appreciate when you keep this information for yourself.” Dumbledore smiled kindly but the hidden threat was still traceable in his voice.

“I think we should end this charade and call everybody now to make it at least for the colleague´s official,” Severus remarked, frowning, and added to Rose, “Unless you don´t want to.”

Rose shrugged unsure.

“I don´t know. My bigger problem is the other students. I mean most of the teachers know it anyway already.” 

“You really want to tell everyone?” Burbage blurted and paled.

“Charity, I would gladly tell the whole world about my feelings for Rose if there would be any use to it,” Severus exclaimed and noticed McGonagall´s smile. Rose smiled too and simply stood up and kissed him.

“You´re sweet.” She smiled even wider. “But you´re right the press would have a field day with this information and I don´t think I can stand only one more interview with Rita Skeeter. In the end the article would probably say you drugged me and took advantage of my hidden daddy-complex.” Rose shuddered but thought that it wasn´t that farfetched from what Skeeter wrote at other times. Severus quirked a brow and shook his head at her words.

“And that´s why it´s best to tell the staff. There are enough rumours and I´m surprised the Prophet hasn´t sent a reporter yet to investigate because a student told something at home,” Dumbledore sighed and after exchanging a last confirming gaze with Severus, he stood up and walked to a picture of an old witch.

“Please inform everybody about an immediate meeting in my office, Mildred.”

“And I always wondered why she´s in every office,” Rose whispered to Severus who slung an arm around her waist and chuckled.

***

With every appearing teacher Rose´s nervousness increased and she was not even sure why. They had already lots of support and the most important people in her life knew about the relationship anyway. Still she was glad as Charlie and Oliver came and brought Teddy.

“Hey sunshine!” She snatched the boy out of Charlie´s arms and carried him over to the windows where she showed him the Hogwarts grounds and explained what he could see there. Severus joined her and stood behind her, his hand resting lightly on her shoulder.

“You needn´t be nervous.”

“I know, but…it feels like something really big.”

Severus nodded solemnly. “It is. This could turn out to be a great mistake as well as the best idea we had so far.”

Teddy wriggled on Rose´s arm and stretched his little hands towards Severus, whining insistently.

“Take him,” Rose said and dumped her godson in Severus´ arms.

“No, I can´t speak with…” Rose ignored his protest and walked away.

Little Teddy giggled happily and started at once to undo Severus´ cravat. By the time he had succeeded and played with the loose ends even Remus and Sirius had arrived, though they looked both slightly ruffled and grinned at each other all the time.

“Thank you for coming. I know you are confused, but there is no emergency or anything similar,” Dumbledore started and gestured then to Severus.

All gazes turned towards him. A few smiles appeared on the faces as they watched him with Teddy but otherwise everyone just waited.

Severus looked around for Rose only to find her already right at his side, looking nervous and twitchy. She glanced up and nodded as he smiled briefly.

“Well then,” Severus cleared his throat. “I don´t plan to make this any longer than necessary. The reason for your presence are the rumours about myself and Rose and…ouch!” Severus glared strictly at Teddy who had pulled roughly on his hair. The boy smiled shyly and laid his head against Severus´ shoulder, his small thumb in his mouth as if nothing had happened. Severus frowned before he returned his attention to his colleagues.

“Well, in a nutshell, it´s all true. Rose and I are in a relationship since February. We try our best not to be too obvious about it, but there are more and more people who know about us and fact is we need your help because there are some students who are nosier than is good for them and we don´t want to read about us in the press.” Severus glanced at Rose who had slid her hand stealthily into his and squeezed his fingers.

“It would be a start to stop making love bites on my goddaughter.” Sirius glared but was not successful in hiding his grin. Severus blushed faintly but shot him a nasty look, anyway. He considered a snarky remark, but Rose tugged at his arm and shook her head, her gaze travelled to Teddy whose eyes drifted close, only seconds away from falling asleep. Severus´ face softened as he watched the kid for a moment.

“So what do you expect us to do?” Professor Sinistra quizzed. She looked not at all surprised about the revelation if at all then a little bored.

“Don´t confirm it to anyone,” Severus answered immediately.

“And try to stop the gossip or at least don´t support it. When the teachers stop gossiping **with** the students and instead stay together **against** it then the students might hopefully stop,” Rose added.

“I don´t care for gossip,” Professor Binns huffed and wafted away through the wall.

“He maybe not but everyone else,” Rose muttered.

“It might be your fate to just let it happen,” Professor Trelawney breathed softly.

Dumbledore gave the woman a twinkling smile but everyone else rolled their eyes at her remark. But after some further toing and froing and a minor argument with Charity Burbage again, everyone agreed to help Severus and Rose to keep the relationship a rumour.

***

“You think they shut up about it?” Rose asked as she sat with Dumbledore, Severus and “the family”, consisting of Sirius, Remus and the Weasley men, in Dumbledore´s office, drinking tea. Severus continuingly held the sleeping Teddy but felt increasingly uncomfortable with the situation and had started pacing restlessly through the room.

“I hope so. Could anyone be so kind to free me finally from this little monster?” He stopped in front of Charlie.

“Oh come on, stop pretending you don´t love him. The whole school has yet witnessed your soft and cuddly side,” Charlie chuckled but tried cautiously to loosen Teddy´s grip on Severus´ shirt. The boy whined lowly and clutched only firmer on the fabric.

Severus said nothing but looked down at Teddy before his gaze flicked to Rose.

“Stop this thought!” Sirius growled lowly with narrowed eyes as if he could look straight into Severus´ head and had actually seen the thoughts there.

Rose looked confused from one to the other, but Severus shook his head.

“Whatever your plans are for now, I will retire to my chambers.” He plucked Teddy unceremoniously away from him and handed him over to his parents, ignoring the anxious crying and left without glancing back.

Rose was still confused and gazed around. “Do you know what that was about?”

Sirius pouted but wasn´t overly inclined to explain his brief exchange with Severus.

Remus, however, looked thoughtful. “You should maybe go and talk to Severus.” He pulled Rose into a short embrace and then pushed her towards the door. “Hurry and cheer him up or he´ll disappear completely into his usual bad temper.”

***

Severus was already half the way down to the dungeons as Rose caught up with him. “Hey! Wait a moment!”

Severus stopped but shook his head even before Rose had opened her mouth again. “It´s nothing. I only need a nap before I start correcting. You can come along or go to your friends, it´s your choice.” He started to walk away.

Rose´s confusion didn´t lessen. Had she done anything wrong? “Say, are you angry with me? Cause I have no idea why.” She tried to keep in step with him what wasn´t easy at all with Severus walking with long strides.

“I am not.” Severus opened the door to his office, crossed his study and slumped down into his favourite armchair, closing his eyes.

“Funny, you look as if you are.” Rose stood in the middle of the room and frowned at Severus, unsure about the core of the problem or the problem itself.

“Honest?” Severus smiled meekly and rubbed over his face, sighing. “I thought about children. Our children. And then I thought how dammed young you are. I never wanted a family, but somehow…”

“You´re silly sometimes,” Rose interrupted him and sat down on the armrest.

“Rose, you are young. And by the time you will start thinking about children I´m already an old man,” Severus said and his expression turned pained. Not to mention if she even still wanted him when that time came.

Rose regarded him for a moment in silence then she kissed his hair.

“Dumbledore is an old man and you are certainly not. Even if it takes ten years until I want children, you´re still not old then.”

“It frightens me,” Severus confessed under his breath, but Rose heard him anyway.

“What? Children?”

“That and that you could decide you don´t want to have them with me,” he said even quieter.

“No one knows how we and our feelings change over the time, but we only can let it happen, can´t we?” Rose smiled gently and then added, “I love you and I don´t want that you think about such a bleak future where I won´t be with you. Right now there´s no place I´d love more to be than at your side and it will take a really good reason that I change my mind. You won´t get rid of me that easily,” she said and grinned.

Severus looked at her and then suddenly pulled her down and kissed her with breath taking urgency.

“Come on now,” Rose said and gasped for air as Severus released her. “You wanted a nap and I´ll need to go anyway. My homework´s waiting.” She pulled him up and dragged him into his bedroom. The scent of their lovemaking still hung heavy in the air and Rose cast a purifying charm to get rid of it before she tugged Severus under the blanket with a smirk on her lips before she kissed him goodbye.

***

“Oh Rose, you´re still down here?”

Rose closed the office door behind her and turned.

“Hey, Pansy.” She smiled but knew that her cheeks started glowing. The other girl gave her a knowing look.

“You know, I really don´t care if you and Snape are involved in any kind. But he´s in a far better mood lately. So if you are to take the credit for it. Here take it.” Pansy shrugged and then laughed.

Rose had absolutely no idea what to answer and simply kept silent. Not to mention that she was lightly confused that Pansy Parkinson spoke with her in an unexpected friendly manner. But then on the other hand relations to Slytherin in general were rather relaxed at the moment. After the snakes had digested the blow that Draco was a Gryffindor now there had been a slight shift and even the other houses had noticed it. Rose was sure that the four Hogwarts houses had never been more understanding with each other than at the moment. If this had been the original intention of the Hat? To spread peace? Well, who knew? Maybe it was not even because of Draco but because of Ginny who had a few weeks ago a rather heated “conversation” with her fellow Gryffindors and a bit later with a Ravenclaw about her relationship with Blaise. She was not the least inclined to swallow every rubbish the other students talked behind her back, or sometimes not so behind, and had bluntly announced she knew a location where everyone could stick their opinion about herself and Blaise. Only as she´d started to drag Rose and Severus into it, Rose had stopped Ginny and pulled her away.

Rose blinked again at Pansy. “Well, I really don´t know what I should or could say to that.”

“Oh, you don´t have to say anything. It´s fine. See you around.” With that the Slytherin girl flounced down the corridor.

“Hmmmm,” Rose hummed to herself and started, still a little confused, her way up to Gryffindor tower. Though, she was again headed off.

“Rose!” Lavender stepped out of the shadow of a column close to the last stair up to the common room. An uneasy feeling settled in Rose´s stomach.

“Lavender?” Rose tried a curious expression and a smile but feared it looked more like a grimace. First Pansy and now Lavender? That was just her luck.

The other girl narrowed her eyes but then asked, “Are you in trouble for hitting Snape?”

Rose gawped for a moment but then remembered how today´s mess had started and chuckled relieved.

“Ehm, no, not exactly. I got away with a stern lecture about inappropriate behaviour.”

“And this lecture contained sucking your throat?” Lavender asked innocently, but as Rose gazed at her she saw the predator twinkle in her eyes.

Rose swallowed but composed herself quickly.

“Lavender…You don´t think this lecture took that long, do you?” Rose wriggled pointedly her eyebrows.

Lavender´s sceptic expression brightened. “Oh, you met your secret lover,” she giggled. “A shame you won´t share the details with me, really.” She linked her arms with Rose. Together they walked the remaining way to their common room where Lavender tried for the rest of the day to make Rose talk about her love life.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, sorry for the delay. I found a mistake in the plot and fixing it was both nerve-wracking and time-consuming, but now I think it´s fine and we can go on :)

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Remus looked surprised at the visitor in his classroom.

“Severus. I haven´t expected you here,” he said and smiled, adding, “How does it feel to know that our colleagues know about you and Rose?” Remus stopped as he saw Severus fumbling with a letter in his hands. “What´s that?”

“That´s why I came here. Do you have a minute after dinner?”

Remus quirked an eyebrow and crossed the room. “I have time now. Come, I´ll make you tea,” he said and gave Severus a concerned look before leading the way.

“Well, what is it?” Remus asked and placed a steaming mug with herbal tea in front of Severus who sat in one of the armchairs, face buried in his hands.

“Read,” Severus said and gave Remus the letter which by now was creased and crumpled, the ink smeared in some parts.

Remus read and started frowning. “They press charges? Now? But I thought the hearing went well. Albus was positive that you explained enough.”

“Yes. No one expected this.” Severus gestured towards the letter. “Damn it, what am I to do? I´d hoped it could get better now. I´d hoped I could surprise Rose with Albus´ support about making us official.” Severus wrung his hands in a desperate gesture in his lap.

“I´m sorry for you. I really am. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you.” Remus contemplated Severus for some time. He had seen him in many different states already but never this defeated with sagging shoulders and haunted gaze, obviously completely on a loss how to proceed. “What about Rose? Did you speak with her?” Remus frowned.

“No. Not yet. Gods, I have no idea. How can I…how can I tell her?”

“But Albus knows?” Remus asked and leant forward, bracing his elbows on his knees.

“Yes, he does. He´s unfamiliar self-critical about his timing to step back from his position as Chief Warlock. He tries to preside my case anyway. But that´s not what…” Severus shook his head. “Everyone will know about my role in the first war. Rose will know.”

Remus contemplated that for a moment, gazing with empathy at his friend.

“No matter how, you have to tell her. She needs to know the truth from you. It will get only worse if she reads about it in the Prophet or someone else tells her.”

“I know,” Severus whispered and slumped back into the chair.

***

“Darling! I´m home!” Rose warbled and closed the door to the study with a dramatic swirl, looking around. A steep line formed between her brows as she spotted Severus not as expected behind his desk, grading, but in his armchair. He was in a state of undress, it seemed as if he had started and then stopped halfway and instead chose to slouch on the chair. He wore still his trousers but no socks and his robes lay crumpled on the sofa, his jacket hung close to falling to the floor over the backrest of his current sitting place while his shirt was half way opened.

“Severus?” Rose asked cautiously and peered up as she crouched in front of him, softly touching his thighs.

His far away expression became more aware as he looked at her then he straightened and smiled.

“What took you so long?” he asked and glanced at the clock.

Rose snorted. “It´s not even eight. I´m early. What´s wrong with you?” She stood up and started collecting his clothes, smoothing the wrinkles.

“Students.” Severus shook his head, his gaze darted to Rose as she patted the pockets of his robes. He heard the rustling of paper and jumped up. “You´re not my maid, I´m perfectly capable of cleaning my mess alone,” he snapped and tugged his clothes out of Rose´s hands.

“Ok.” Rose lifted her hands in a placating gesture. “No need to bite my head off.”

Severus sighed. He threw the clothes over the chair behind his desk and returned with long steps to Rose, pulling her into his arms. “I´m sorry. I just had a really shit day. And yes, I know that is no reason to snap at you.”

“You´re lucky. I´m in a forgiving mood today,” Rose said haughtily but couldn´t keep a straight face and burst into giggles.

Her laughter, however, got muffled as Severus pulled her as close as possible and attacked her mouth in a devouring kiss, leaving her breathless and flushed.

“Do you feel better now?” Rose panted, chuckling.

“Hmmm,” Severus hummed. A grin spread over his face. “No. I think I just started.” He hauled Rose in a swift motion, which made her shriek in surprise, into his arms and carried her into his bedroom. There he dumped her on the bed but was over her in a split second, kissing her demandingly while his hands roamed over her body, tugging and shoving at her clothes.

Rose wriggled and wreathed under Severus, unable to lay still. She loved when he was like this, a little demanding and possessive, when he treated her as if nothing else in this world mattered to him. She arched into his touch as his nimble fingers had succeeded in opening her jeans and now slipped beneath the fabric, groping her more than to stroke but that felt just right as well. His mouth trailed hotly from her mouth over her jaw to her neck. Rose gasped as he suddenly sucked at her throat in the same moment as the heel of his hand pressed down and rubbed more firmly over her.

“You´re so beautiful,” Severus said and looked at her, his gaze to equal parts soft and hungry. “Yes. Look at me. Rose. Let go. Come. Come for me.”

Rose moaned as he talked to her. The tension inside her build up, coiled hotly between her legs.

Severus leant closer. His hips twitched against her leg.

Rose felt his erection. She moaned again, warm waves pulsed through her.

“I want you. Now,” she panted and pushed at her trousers.

Severus groaned but didn´t stop stroking her, his gaze fixed to her face.

Her own eyes closed but she willed them open again. She was so close.

“Severus. Please.”

Severus fumbled blindly for Rose´s wand and with a panted incantation their clothes disappeared, leaving them flush against each other, skin on skin.

Severus didn´t hesitate any longer and slid over Rose, sinking down between her legs.

Rose exhaled. She arched into him. Her fingers dug into his back as he filled her, inching slowly inside her. The tension inside her snapped and she couldn´t help the sob as she wrapped her legs firmly around Severus to pull him close, her hips jerking against him.

Severus moaned. He was powerless before holding back as the surge of his own orgasm grasped him and pulled him away.

Breathless they both got limp, though Severus tried to keep his weight off Rose as best as he could. Finally he rolled them around and wrapped Rose into his arms, holding her tight.

***

“How late is it?” Rose asked and cleared her throat.

Severus cast a tempus charm. The time shimmered in bright numbers in the air.

Rose groaned.

“Stay, it´s too late to go back.”

“Draco´s waiting for me. I promised we´d talk about our Defence homework which is due first thing tomorrow morning,” Rose said insistently but didn´t move to stand up.

“I know I should be the voice of reason, but I don´t actually care right now.” Severus tightened his arm around Rose´s waist and pressed his chest against her back, nuzzling her neck.

“You don´t care an awful lot nowadays. All the time you try to lure me into staying.” Rose smiled.

“Is that a bad thing?”

Rose could virtually feel his smirk on her skin and chuckled.

“In my opinion not as bad as others will think it is.”

“So you stay?” Severus asked with a wicked delight sounding in his voice.

“But you´ll deal with Draco.”

Severus shifted away and rolled Rose onto her back. “That, my love, is the smallest obstacle for tonight.”

“Oh, so there is another **obstacle**?” Rose asked, grinning.

“Definitely,” Severus purred and pushed his growing erection against Rose´s hip.


	14. Chapter 14

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“Draco, help me,” Rose whined and fell on the mattress next to Draco who looked slowly up from the book in his lap.

“What?”

“Severus. He won´t stop making these!” Rose pulled the collar from her shirt down, revealing a big love bite.

Draco raised briefly his eyebrows then smirked. “Looks a bit like the one I made on Ron.”

“You…Blimey, what is wrong with you men? Have you seen Hermione lately? The twins obviously think it´s really funny.”

“I only tried to find out how long it takes to leave a bruise and really, you have to be really patient to have such a big one.” Draco leant closer to inspect Rose´s neck. “Besides, that sucking is exhausting business.”

“Not for Severus, obviously.” Rose huffed. “What are you reading?” she asked to change the subject. She plucked the book from Draco´s hands and looked at the cover. A grin bloomed on her face.

“The patient heart”, she giggled, “Is that one of Molly´s?”

“It´s a beautiful and tragic love story,” Draco said defensively and stashed the book into his nightstand.

“Ok, it´s all right. I just thought you´re more into thrilling literature or history, but hey…whatever you like.”

“You can stop grinning.” Draco pulled the pillow from behind his back and hit Rose against the shoulder.

“Do that again!” Rose said threateningly.

Draco did exactly that, only now whacking her face. “I'm still angry with you for ditching me the other day.”

Rose jumped up and grabbed Ron´s pillow throwing it at Draco. “But how could I refuse to stay with Severus? Ever?”

The pillow had missed Draco by almost a metre, though his not. He hit her in the back as she bent down to fish for the pillow under Seamus´ bed.

Rose giggled and ran across the room, Draco followed right behind her. They chased like this three times from one corner to the other until Draco caught Rose´s hand and pulled her back. They stumbled and fell on the closest bed, almost knocking Neville´s plants from his nightstand.

“Idiot,” Rose snorted.

“Princess,” Draco retorted.

They relocated to Draco´s bed and flopped down onto their backs.

“Are you coming with us to Hogsmeade tomorrow?”

Rose shook her head. “I´ll meet Sirius. He complained that he sees me almost as much as if he´d still be at Grimmauld Place. Well and before that I´ll go to Severus.” Rose turned her head and grinned. “He promised me a special breakfast.”

“Fine, go and spend your free time with old men while your friends have lots of fun.”

Rose huffed but grinned and poked Draco in the ribs.

***

“Hi!” Rose grinned and walked past Remus who held the door open for her. Her mood was extraordinary good after having Severus make pancakes for her, with lots of fruits and more kisses between bites.

“You´re here to see Sirius?” Remus turned towards her.

“We talked about meeting for tea…”

“Yeah, well. I guess he forgot that.” Remus looked apologetically. “He left twenty minutes ago and I´m sure he won´t be back before midnight.”

Rose made an acknowledging sound and pursed her lips.

“You can stay if you like and I´ll make tea for us,” Remus offered and nodded towards his living room.

“So what is important enough to forget me?” Rose asked and wrapped her hands around a steaming cup of tea.

“A new motorbike. Charlie has a friend who leaves England and this friend looks for someone who´s willing to buy his bike.”

“Ah, I see.” Rose chuckled and leant back into the plush pillows on the sofa, suddenly, however, she straightened again as she saw Remus hesitate to take one of the armchairs. “I don´t sit on your favourite place, do I?”

Remus gazed at her, blinking a few times in confusion before breaking out into loud laughter. “You are my guest. You can sit wherever you like.”

“So this **is** your favourite place?” Rose scurried a little to the left and patted the free space next to her. “See, enough room for both of us.”

“Hmmmm…” Remus nodded slowly, but then seemed to make up his mind and sat next to Rose. “Feeling better now?” He peered sideways at her, smirking.

“Definitely.” Rose grinned and turned to cross her legs and look at Remus without having to turn her head all the time.

“That looks unhealthy.” Remus said and tilted his head to have a better look at Rose´s neck. “Severus has a new hobby as it seems.”

Rose´s face darkened. “I don´t know what´s gotten into him lately. He´s already the whole week somehow strange. Either he´s absentminded and withdrawn or he mounts me like a love-crazed dog in heat. And really, don´t let me start with this love bites. At first I thought it´s sweet. Somehow. But now it´s just annoying. I´m glad one can only see the ones around my neck.” She huffed frustrated.

Remus arched an eyebrow, puzzled.

Rose stood up and pulled her shirt up over her breasts, revealing a series of love bites across her ribs and one peeking from under the edge of her bra. She startled as Remus cautiously traced the tips of his fingers over her ribs. She got goosebumps under his soft caress and peered down at him.

 “Why do you let him do it when you don´t like it?” Remus pulled his hand away, returning her gaze intently.

“I don´t know. It seems important to him. I know that sounds crazy. But it got only so bad after we told the staff about us. It´s almost as if he wants to proof that I belong to him. I feel bad to make him stop.” Rose shrugged while straightening her clothes.

“If you ask me, he has plenty other opportunities. He could buy you a ring or necklace or I don´t know, anything else to symbolise his love for you.”

“Yes, but…” Rose fell silent. She took one of the biscuits, nibbling around the edge. What should she say to that? Of course Severus could find another way to let people know that she was taken.

Remus watched her. He shifted on the sofa until he sat right across from her, one foot under his leg the other still on the floor, he bent a little forward. His hand brushed against her knee.

“I know you both hate to hide. No one wants to be in a relationship and keep it a secret, but your lives are very complicated and Severus is not only your teacher but also the current Deputy Headmaster. Anyway, I personally think this marking goes too far. Leaving bruises on your skin shouldn´t be the equivalent to telling the world that you´re no longer single.”

Rose snorted then inclined her head. “Do you really think his obligations are the only reason we can´t be together officially?”

Remus hesitated a second then nodded. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

Rose thought she´d seen something more behind Remus´ hesitation but it was gone so quickly that she couldn´t be sure so instead of wondering further she said, “Because he´s so strange. I know something bothers him, but every time I ask he evades the topic and instead tries to get me as fast as possible naked.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “I think if there is anything he will tell you sooner or later.”

“What would you do in his stead?”

“That would depend on why I wouldn´t talk to you.”

“No.” Rose chuckled lowly. “I mean, if you and I would be a couple and we couldn´t be officially together and had to hide, would you leave your mark too? Or can´t you say?”

Remus merely looked at Rose for some time but then smiled. He bent forward a little. “I wouldn´t like to hide either,” he said. “But I wouldn´t need to leave my mark on you to show our social environment that you´re taken. I think I would buy you a pretty necklace which for itself is a mark too, isn´t it? But one you can choose to wear. And I would probably enjoy secret glances and casual touches when we meet, but they weren´t casual for us. Still I would try to spend as much time with you as I could fit into my days and nights and touch you whenever I can and kiss you and hold you close.”

Rose looked for about half a minute silently at Remus, holding his gaze steadily. “I think I´d prefer a necklace too, instead of those ugly spots,” she said finally and sighed.

“A necklace would indeed look much prettier on you.” Remus chuckled and stroked his thumb over the side of her neck, his other fingers lingering softly close to her spine.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter :)  
> Are you happy?

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"Severus, what the heck?" Rose ranted lowly as Severus materialised out of nowhere, seized her arm and dragged her behind a tapestry into a hidden passageway. Without answering, he pinned her against the wall. Rose gasped, but no one heard it as Severus claimed her mouth in a bruising kiss.

That was already the third time he did something like that today. The first time had been right after breakfast in an empty classroom, the second time before her afternoon lesson. Professor Sprout hadn´t been too impressed with Rose being late by five minutes. Well and now she was actually on her way to Sirius.

Severus´ hands roamed possessively over her and Rose closed her eyes, yielding to him. Severus acknowledged her submission with a satisfied grunt and completed his mission with sucking a new bruise into the skin of her neck.

Inwardly Rose seethed.

She had never been too fond of love bites but now Severus seriously exaggerated it.

“Let´s run away,” he whispered at her throat, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Rose pushed Severus lightly away and frowned. “What´s that suddenly?”

Severus sighed and leant on the wall next to her, thudding his head lightly against the stone.

“I´m so fed up with everything. You´re not the only one who simply wants to be happy. I´d love to drag you right now into the Great Hall and tell everyone that I love you. To hell with the press and Dumbledore´s cautioning,” he muttered lowly.

“Is that why you behave like this?”

Severus didn´t look at her and kept silent. Rose touched his cheek and pulled him in for a brief kiss. “You know,” she said, smiling. “I´d love to be with you whenever I like, but I think I can wait until it´s easier for us. But then you´ll do exactly what you said and I´ll give everyone the finger and we run away for the summer.” She grinned.

“Only for the summer?” Severus asked, raising one eyebrow.

“We´ll come back, of course. You teach Potions and I study them and help Remus teach Defence and in whatever little spare time we have we two will research a way to improve the Wolfsbane Potion.”

Severus gazed intently at Rose, searching for mockery but then concluded, “You´re serious about it.”

Rose nodded and then kissed Severus again. “I need to go. Or I´ll miss Sirius again.”

She slipped out of their hiding place and almost knocked Lavender down who came along the corridor.

“Hello there,” Lavender said. A broad grin spread over her face. “Had a meeting with your beau?”

Rose gazed nervously back over her shoulder, hoping Severus would leave through the other side.

“Uhm…”

“No need to affirm it, there´s like the ugliest spot of this world on your neck.” Lavender squinted at Rose then sidestepped her and peered behind the tapestry. “Pity…Why can´t you tell who he is? I mean honestly, who´s that bad that you have to keep it a secret but you still claim it´s not Snape.”

“Lavender…It´s just…It´s private. There´s enough talk about me and I don´t want anyone to talk even more.”

Lavender groaned frustrated. “But that´s exactly what I´m saying. If it would be a student no one would talk, that leaves only the staff because no one else could meet you in the castle all the time.”

Rose shook her head. She didn't like lying to Lavender who she indeed considered a friend, but Lavender was too easily ready to share her knowledge. Sadly Rose thought she couldn't trust Lavender to keep quiet. “Sorry, Lavender. And I have to go now. Sirius is waiting.”

Lavender perked up. “Again?”

Rose gave her a pointed look and ignored the way her eyes twinkled.

***

As Rose lifted her hand to knock, the door swung open and Sirius hurried past her, tossing over his shoulder, “Sorry Rosy, we have to postpone tea again.”

“He´s kidding,” Rose muttered and looked at Remus who stood in the door now.

“No.” Remus waved her inside and Rose followed him into the living room where two mugs with hot chocolate waited already on the coffee table in front of the sofa. “I thought you´d like to stay anyway.”

Rose smiled. “Yes. Very much.” She sat on the sofa. “So, what is it now?”

“Detention. He showed his fourth year´s his transformation and one of the Gryffindors thought it would be funny to pull on his tail…Well you can guess how amused Sirius was.” Remus choked back a chuckle and tried to look serious, though it wouldn´t hold for long and he burst into laughter. Rose joined him.

The chocolate was sweet with a rich flavour of cacao and hints of cinnamon and vanilla with a topping of small marshmallows. Rose smiled and hummed happily while drinking her cup in record time.

“You really know how to win a woman´s heart,” Rose chuckled and licked over her upper lip before fishing the last marshmallow out of her cup, rolling it into her tongue and sucked.

Remus peered over the rim of his mug. “So it only takes hot chocolate?” He grinned.

“I´m afraid yes…Terribly easy, isn´t it?” Rose chuckled.

“So that is Severus´ secret…” Remus mock-frowned.

“Don´t tell him I told you.” Rose laughed wholeheartedly and bounced her shoulder against Remus´ arm before leaning against him. Face turned upwards, she peered past his shoulder at him, feeling content with their closeness. “I really like our not planned afternoon meetings.”

“You know you can come by any time, maybe you manage to actually meet Sirius one day.” Remus chuckled and slung his arm around Rose´s shoulder, pulling her a little closer.

Rose buried deeper in the embrace, however, as she remembered the meeting with Lavender, she sat up and frowned.

“What bothers you?” Remus asked, gazing at her.

“It´s nothing, actually. It´s just…Severus dragged me again away for snogging and Lavender almost came upon us. She´s curious who this boyfriend is who can´t stop sucking at me. She thinks it´s a teacher because otherwise it wouldn´t be an issue to just tell her. And I think I gave her unintentionally something new to ponder because I´m here again and I think she doesn’t believe me that it is only for tea what with spending so much time here.”

“Ok...You mean she could think that you and I…” Remus gestured from Rose to himself, shifting away, his face twisted into a frown.

“Basically yes. Or Sirius and I.” Rose grumbled a little.

“Maybe we should stop meeting for a while. Miss Brown will only make sure that everyone talks about us. I´m not actually eager to feature new gossip.” Remus stood up and left the living room, carrying the cups into the kitchen where he filled them with water to soak.

Rose followed him with furrowed brow.

“Remus, honestly, are you afraid someone would think we´re making out when I´m here?”

“I´m afraid how Severus will react should he hear about it. He´s anyway tense and he´s a jealous man. What do you think he would do if the school talks about you and me or you and Sirius or worse the three of us together?” Remus dried his hands on a tea towel.

Rose pursed her lips. She hated to admit that Remus was not wrong, but…

“So you forbid me to come here?” she asked gloomily.

Remus seemed to consider this for a moment. “Oh Rose,” he said then and pulled her into his arms, chuckling lowly. “I never could do that. Maybe it´s enough to make sure Severus knows about Miss Brown´s thoughts and about our meetings.”

“He knows that I visit you often. It´s not as if we never talk when we see each other.” Rose smirked.

“I would never assume you wouldn´t.” Remus grinned.

They went back into the living room, though, before they could sit down they were interrupted by a knock at the office door. Remus frowned and went looking who it was.

“Heavens, couldn´t you find a smaller cage?” Rose heard Remus grumble. She stood up and curiously peered into the office, just seeing a middle-aged, brunet man shake his head and leave.

“Everything all right?”

“Yes, yes. It´s fine. I just have to move those two into a more appropriate cage.” Remus pointed at the floor. There in a cage that not even allowed them to turn sat two creatures which looked at first glance like rabbits.

“What are they?” Rose asked, crouching down to have a closer look. “Wow, that are sharp teeth,” she whistled.

“Just wait when you see them in their full beauty.” Remus smiled and carefully opened the small door, extracting one of the animals with some difficulties. “Let me introduce to you: a Wolpertinger.”

Rose gazed with wide eyes at the animal which, finally free, spread a set of impressive wings.

Before Remus could adjust his grip the hare-like creature hopped from his arm and sailed in an elegant arch over to Rose, landing with bumping against her chest and clawing on one of her shoulders.

“Easy there. You will only hurt yourself when you try to fly inside here.” Rose took hold of the Wolpertinger and grinned at Remus. “Get those knobs bigger?” She tapped one finger against the small horns.

“Yes, those two are still young. The older a Wolpertinger is the bigger their antlers.”

Rose looked at the one in her arms and stroked over the soft fur. The second animal went wild in its cage, jumping up and down and finally squeezing free.

“Rose! Duck!” Remus shouted, but too late. The companion jumped at Rose and scratched and bit wherever it could reach, effectively damaging fabric and skin.

A red light flashed from Remus´ wand. Both Wolpertinger went limp and fell to the floor. Remus hurried over. He ignored the creatures for the moment and examined foremost Rose´s face, hands and chest.

“I´m so sorry. I should´ve closed the door first. The females tend to be a little jealous.” Quickly Remus put the unconscious hare creatures into a new, bigger, cage and then steered Rose into the bathroom.

Cautiously he touched the edge of a deep cut along Rose´s ribs.

“Gladly they aren´t venomous,” Remus sighed and studied concerned Rose´s injuries. “I can heal you, but if you prefer to go to the infirmary, I´d understand that…”

“Remus, I´m fine, considering the circumstances. Just go ahead and maybe you find a little bit of this salve you gave to me in spring?” Rose nodded towards the cupboard where the healing salve had been as Rose had boiled herself in the shower.

***

Severus had tried to immerse himself in work, but no matter what he started everything ended in the bin or more correctly in nothingness after he banished it, cursing vilely and definitely not under his breath. After the umpteenth attempt of brewing anything usable he gave up and sat down, reading the letter from the Ministry again. It was a week now and he hadn´t told Rose. Actually they hadn´t talked much at all. No wonder that she was suspicious. Remus had warned him already.

Severus huffed. What he really needed now was a drink and Remus´ open ear. Obviously exactly what Rose was looking for too as often as she went to see Remus, though probably sans the drink.

A small journey through the castle later, Severus knocked at Remus´ door, being called inside instead of having someone open the door.

Severus peeked around the corner to the living room. It was empty.

“Severus,” Remus said as he came from the bedroom, looking surprised.

“Am I intruding?”

“No. Of course not. You´d like a tea?” Remus pointed behind him towards the kitchen.

“You don´t expect it back, do you? It´s so soft, I don´t think I´ll ever take it off again,” Rose said before Severus could answer. She slipped out of the bedroom as well, buttoning a light grey flannel shirt which reached down over her thighs. Her naked thighs as Severus noticed with a sinking feeling.

His breath hitched and his blood froze in his veins. He gulped visibly, unable to find anything to say, anything to voice the betrayal he felt.

Rose stopped in her tracks. A smile spread over her face only to change into a puzzled expression. “Are you all right?”

“Splendid,” Severus snapped and turned to leave, but Remus held him back.

“You don’t understand.”

“Believe me, I understand quite all right.” Severus jerked his arm out of Remus´ grip.

“No, you don´t. Rose had an accident and I gave her something to change into after I treated her wounds,” Remus said insistently.

Severus’ jaw worked, but he said nothing more nor did he try to leave anymore.

“You didn´t think Remus and I…Severus! Honestly. A Wolpertinger attacked me and shredded my clothes. They´re in his office you can go and see them. The Wolpertinger are in Remus´ office I mean, my clothes have been irretrievable and Remus banished them…” Rose snapped her mouth close as she caught herself blabbing.

Severus looked from Remus to Rose, saw Remus shift uncomfortably and Rose frown over her whole face. Severus chuckled nervously.

“I´m sorry, I jumped to conclusions. It´s…Today is not my day. I cocked four potions up already.”

Rose inclined her head briefly and then went and embraced Severus. She kissed his cheek. “You´re too tense. Let´s do something against it. I only need clothes and then I have the perfect idea how to get you to relax.” She grinned, wriggling her eyebrows meaningfully.

“Yes,” Severus said, gazing at Remus who watched them with carefully blank expression. Severus´ brows twitched into a brief frown.

Rose kissed his cheek again, letting go of his neck. She turned to Remus and embraced him.

“Let´s repeat this…maybe without me being the scratcher for your creatures.” She kissed Remus´ cheek as well, smiling up at him.

***

“You and Remus are rather close,” Severus said casually and stroked some soap bubbles over Rose´s shoulder and down her chest before his hand disappeared under the surface of the warm water. Rose had been right, a bath did relax him indeed, even though not his thoughts.

“Yes, I guess. I like talking to him. He makes time whenever I need him and he makes the world´s best hot chocolate.” Rose turned her head slightly, so she could peer up at Severus, adding, “You don´t have to be jealous.”

Severus was all about to say that he wasn’t jealous, but he knew as well as did Rose that this would be a lie, so he only sighed and tightened his arms around her, sinking a little further into the warmth of the bathtub.

“Severus,” Rose said. She wriggled out of his embrace and sat on her knees, gazing intently at Severus. “There is nothing between me and Remus you have to be jealous of.”

“Ok.” Severus nodded. “Ok,” he repeated and pulled Rose close, his lips finding hers, claiming them in a passionate kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

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“I´m sorry you had to wait,” Elise said, hurrying down the corridor towards Rose.

“No, don´t be. I was late too.” Rose grinned and followed Elise into her office, looking curiously around. “Wow, that´s cosy,” she wondered and walked to the dark red, extra-large armchair. It was so stuffed with pillows one had barely room to sit down, but Rose found a way and hugged one fluffy pillow to her chest, snuggling into the remaining ones. Elise watched her with a grin.

“You like it?”

“I love it.”

“Very good. You´re the first who uses it and when you approve, it has to be fine.” Elise chuckled and then sat in the opposite armchair which was a light grey and had not a single pillow, looking a little stiff and uncomfortable. “How do you feel today?”

Rose looked down on the floor and heaved a big sigh. “Actually not too bad, but…Severus doesn´t stop behaving like a suction pad.” She looked up at Elise who nodded encouragingly. “I tried to talk about it but he blocks it completely. I feel as if I talk more with Remus about my relationship than I talk with Severus.” 

“So you spend much time with Remus?” Elise asked with polite curiosity.

“Yes, I do. It just happened.” Rose shrugged indifferently. “We´d started to get closer after I moved in with Sirius and I really like Remus. He always listens and has some advice or at least he tells me his thoughts about what I´m saying and he knows exactly when I need a hug.” Rose looked out of the window, recalling the events from the evening before. “Though, Severus is jealous and I fear Lavender currently invents new gossip which will make it only worse.”

“Why should Severus be jealous of Remus?” Elise probed.

Rose thought for a moment she saw Elise's eyes glitter with something that looked much like devilish excitement but the next second Elise smiled her usual soft smile and Rose dismissed it as a reflection from one of the candles.

“Go and ask him. I have no idea. It´s all so confusing at the moment and Severus doesn´t really talk to me but makes this silly love bites.” Rose stood up and walked over to the window. She didn´t look out, only turned and leaned against the sill, arms crossed over her chest.

“Of course I can only make assumption from what you´re telling me, but could it be that Severus´ jealousy isn´t reasonless?” Elise shifted in her chair, gazing intently at Rose who felt all of a sudden not well at all with this gaze that seemed able to see right into her head.

She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Why?”

“You say he´s anyway a jealous man and now you spend much time with another man which is, as I understand, his friend. And this friend gives you something Severus can´t or don´t want to: he talks to you. And not only that, he talks to you about your relationship.”

Rose stared at Elise. “There is nothing between me and Remus. I only like being with him. And it has no hidden meaning when he embraces me or when he kisses me. That´s strictly platonic.”

“You´re kissing?” Elise raised her eyebrows in surprise.

Rose groaned. “Not like that. We´re not snogging. It´s just a kiss on my cheek or temple or something like that.” Somehow she felt she shouldn´t tell Elise about the occasions where Remus kissed the corner of her mouth, something Rose didn´t find strange and never really had. It just had developed into this.

“Remus,” Elise said thoughtfully after a minute of silence. “Tell me about him. What is he like?”

Rose smiled a little relieved, that was an easy task. “He's gentle and nice, an unbelievable understanding person and good listener. He...He is that kind of person you go to when you need to hide and who will take you in his arms and hold you until you feel better.”

“And does he look good?”

“Uh.” Rose started. “I guess he does. Yes.” She felt her cheeks grow warmer with a blush colouring them red and lowered her gaze.

“I don't know him. Would you describe him for me?” Elise asked and nodded for Rose to start.

“Yes. Of course. Uhm.” Rose cleared her throat, looking at Elise again. “Remus is tall. A little less than Sirius, though definitely taller than Severus. He has brown hair with lots of grey in it. It's a little longer at the moment and most of the time shaggy and falls into his eyes. He loves cardigans and wears them all the time.” Rose frowned but then looked at Elise, indicating with a slight shrug that she was done.

“That was rather superficial. If I close my eyes and try to picture him after your description I wouldn´t be able to recognise him.” Elise interlaced her fingers in her lap. She still smiled at Rose. “Try again?”

“Ok.” Rose paused and tried to picture Remus. “So, uhm, he´s tall. Tall enough I just reach his chest when he embraces me. And he´s lean. Fit, I´d say but not in such an overly muscled way but, uhm, defined. I never thought he´d have such a body and I´m afraid I stared at him as I saw him the first time.” Rose giggled about the thought then swallowed as she saw Elise´s curious gaze. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “He has scars on his right cheek. When he smiles there are dimples on his cheeks and crinkles around his eyes.” Rose smiled then added, “I like his eyes, they are warm and kind.” She fell silent, picturing Remus when he laughed and how his face brightened and his eyes shone. She liked his scent too, somehow it made her feel like home, even if that sounded ridiculous even in her thoughts.

“Rose? Are you still here?” Elise chuckled lowly.

Rose blushed yet again and hurriedly went on. “Remus has big hands but his fingers aren´t as long as Severus´ more like, I don´t know, they are manly. Not that Severus has feminine hands, no, definitely not, but his are long and slender and Remus´ hands are more…” Rose broke up and chuckled nervously. “Do you know what I mean?”

“Actually no.” Elise inclined her head.

“It´s silly…I don´t think you need his hands to imagine him.”

“But you already started.” Elise looked over at Rose, clearly waiting.

“Ok…Remus´ hands…they are strong but gentle. There are scars as well but smaller and not that obvious. His fingers are long but broad. All in all it´s what I think is very manly.” Rose shrugged, unable to describe more.

“What about his voice?”

“It´s pretty normal, I guess. But then, Severus is the one with the sexy voice, all deep and dark, that makes you shiver. Remus´ voice is gentle and warm but apart from that just a normal man´s voice.”

Elise chuckled but nodded. “I really don´t think that it´s too strange that Severus feels threatened, especially when you are a lot with Remus and like him as much as I read in your words and expressions when you talk about him.”

“Gosh, when you put it like that it sounds as if I have a crush on Remus.” Rose laughed.

“You haven´t?” Elise inclined her head.

“What? No!? I mean…wait, that was a trick question, wasn´t it?”

Elise grinned but then returned quickly into her serious demeanour. “What will you do about Severus?”

Rose was somehow glad for the change of topic. “What can I do? I mean, as long as I don´t know what bothers him, I can´t help him and I guess he won´t stop leaving bruises until his problem is solved.”

“Then you get homework from me. I want you to talk to Severus. If you like tell him this is about your therapy, but also tell him he has to talk to you. There are always two people in a relationship and he can´t use you for his stress relieve but don´t speak with you about his problem.”

Rose felt a little as if Elise had rebuked her and nodded sheepishly.

***

"Rose, a word."

Rose turned surprised to find Severus standing right behind her. She put the spoon full of cereals in her barely touched bowl and stood up to walk with Severus out of sight, despite the glances from the Head Table and more glances from the students.

Right after the door of a random classroom was closed behind them, Severus pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

"Stay with me tonight, yes?” Severus said, parting his lips only enough to make his words clearly understandable.

Rose grimaced and pulled away, gazing up. “I´m sorry, actually I wanted to tell you that I´m not coming tonight. The boys organized a game night for us and they didn´t consider that Wednesday is our evening. I already promised I´d be there.”

Severus stepped back and his expression went blank, something Rose read by now as the equivalent of being hurt. She closed the distance between them again and wrapped her arms around him.

“I´ll stay Friday night with you, ok? I sneak away after the Halloween feast,” she said and knew she did it as much for him as for herself. Even though she had noticed with growing amazement that she slept quite well with Severus´ shirt under her pillow she still slept better in his arms.

“I hate these feasts…Really, I have no idea why Dumbledore is so fond of them.” Severus sighed exasperated and returned Rose´s embrace finally, resting his chin on top of her head.

“They´re fun, just try to relax.” Rose snuggled closer.

The bell signalled the start of the first lesson and thus the end of their brief moment together.

“I refuse to acknowledge that I have to teach now,” Severus mumbled and tightened his arms around Rose, but she pushed him away, gazing up with a frown.

“Severus, what´s wrong with you? It´s not like you to be careless with your obligations.”

For a split second it seemed as if Severus would tell her, but then his expression closed off again and he shook his head.

“It´s nothing. Hurry now, we don´t want anyone taking points from you. Or me when it comes out that I´m complicit in your tardiness.” He made a face and left suddenly in a hurry even before Rose could reply.

***

Remus headed towards a late lunch. His last class had managed to upset the two Wolpertinger so much he had to sedate the creatures before he could set them back into a cage in his office. That had taken more time than he had anticipated and now he'd be happy if he could manage to get at least a small bite of food.

Approaching the Great Hall, several delicious smells wafted towards him and Remus quickened his step only to come to a stop completely as Rose walked straight past him, not looking anywhere particularly. She was followed by bats and seemed far away with her thoughts, given the bats her thinking was obviously connected to Severus.

Deciding it was more important to make sure Rose was all right, Remus abandoned his plans for lunch and followed Rose up the Grand Staircase. Before she could disappear through one of the hidden passageways, which Remus knew was nearby, he headed her off by taking her arm.

“Stop thinking so hard, it leaves wrinkles. Or bats in your case,” Remus smirked, looking up. Rose followed his gaze, peering above her head.

“Great,” she said as she saw two bats circling excitedly under the ceiling, chasing each other as if playing tag. Her face darkened as she scowled unhappily at the small creatures.

"What's the matter?" Remus asked and pulled her without warning into his arms, holding her tight.

Rose relaxed almost immediately, the tension leaving her shoulders as she buried closer and the anxious coil in her stomach loosened a little.

“He hides something,” she said, avoiding Severus´ name so openly in the corridor. “But he won´t talk to me. I know that there´s something that troubles him, but when I ask he says it´s nothing and finds excuses to change the topic or leaves.”

Remus rolled his eyes. It was about time Severus pulled himself together and sorted things out with Rose before they spiralled right into the next disaster which seemed to keep happening around them all the time.

“I´m sure he tells you when something is the matter. Maybe he´s only over-worked and tired,” Remus said in a, in his eyes, weak attempt to sooth Rose´s nerves.

However, Rose looked up immediately, hope shining in her eyes “You think so?” She really hoped it was that easy.

Remus only nodded in way of answering, his gaze flitted over her face, seemingly stopping at her lips.

Rose cocked her head to one side, holding perfectly still. Was she imagining Remus´ gaze? It wouldn´t surprise her much after the whole conversation with Elise.

Finally Remus gazed into her eyes. He blinked and then he smiled, the delicate crinkles around his eyes lining his face.

He brushed a little kiss on the corner of her mouth and Rose relaxed again, her expression lightened as she smiled too. “Do I see you tomorrow or at the weekend?”

“I hope I´ll see you tomorrow. I´m bringing your Wolpertinger-friends.”

“Idiot,” Rose chuckled. “Not in class.”

“Just come by when you´re free. I´ll make hot chocolate.” Remus winked and pulled her briefly close again, hugging her goodbye.

After Rose was gone, Remus resumed his way to the Great Hall, there was still a sliver of time for lunch. Though, he came not far because the next second he stood face to face with an unhappy, scowling Severus. Remus swallowed involuntarily.

“You seem closer than Rose ever let it appear,” Severus said lowly, narrowing his eyes.

Remus, grasping for his suddenly slipped composure, arched an eyebrow. “And that does mean what exactly?”

“I´m only wondering how close you are when you are not in public but every time she visits you in your rooms.” Severus´ mouth thinned into a tight line as he stared without blinking at Remus.

“Severus, are you implying that Rose and I…?”

“I´m far from implying anything,” Severus cut in. “It´s something that just crossed my mind after seeing you now and recently as I visited.”

Remus leant close to Severus, whispering over his roaring heartbeat, “You better wonder how to tell her the truth. Rose worries about your behaviour. She knows something´s going on. You´re so close to messing it up again.” Remus held his hand in front of Severus' face, thumb and index finger almost touching.

Severus narrowed his eyes at the fingers and then took a step back. He half turned to leave as he looked back again, uncertainty replacing the accusation in his gaze. “So you´re really not…?”

“Severus!” Remus said pointedly and dipped his head as if peering over the edge of glasses. “She loves you.”

“Ok,” Severus said, lifting his hands in a placating gesture, rather alike the one he had showed Rose after confronting her with the topic, and then covered his insecurity with a smirk. “Tonight at my place?”

“No, Charlie asked us over, but you could come too.”

Severus hesitated but then remembered that Rose wouldn´t come by and agreed.

***

Friday was Halloween. Rose´s mood was brighter than the days before what could be directly connected with the time she had spent with her friends exclusively. But now she sneaked down to the dungeons, knowing that Severus was already there preparing potions for their class today.

As she entered, he looked up surprised.

"Hello..." she said with a seductive smile.

"What are you up to?" he asked suspiciously while peering over one of 3 cauldrons. Hopefully at least Rose would spare him with further Halloween rubbish. It was really bothersome, in some points Halloween was even worse than Fool´s day. Everywhere bats and spiders and vermin, flying candles and every ghost found itself hilariously creepy. Buhuu…

"Nothing." Rose smirked and stepped behind him. She wrapped her arms around his body, playing and tugging on the many buttons of his robe.

"I need to finish this." He really had to. The class would need it for their task today.

"Hmmm," Rose hummed against his back, sending shivers down his spine. “I think I don´t want to wait for tonight, though…” Her hands finished opening the last buttons of his jacket and wandered further down, stroking lightly over his crotch.

Severus closed for a moment his eyes at the sensation of her touch. He swallowed and tried to keep his concentration on the potion. “Rose…This is important.” He would not allow her to make him screw this up. But then without warning or opening his belt, she slid her hand under his waistband and grabbed his cock, squeezing it whilst twisting her wrist lightly. Severus hissed through gritted teeth, moaning involuntarily and of course messed up the potion because he added definitely more than only 2 drops of basilisk venom.

He had a harsh comment on his tongue, but Rose directed him to turn around with her fingers still wrapped around his cock. And whatever he had wanted to say withered away as Rose dropped to her knees, freed quickly his hardening flesh from the restrictive clothes and wrapped her mouth around him. He knew, they really shouldn´t be this careless, but he couldn´t help it, not with Rose sucking vigorously on him. He closed his eyes and grabbed the edge of the desk for balance. Rose looked up, cheeky delight glittering in her eyes.

Within embarrassingly short time, she brought him to his orgasm leaving him a bit weak at the knees. Rose grinned smugly as she watched him closing the buttons.

“Feeling better?”

Severus only inhaled sharply.

“You see, I think I prefer this for your stress relieve instead of you dragging me somewhere and ruin my skin.”

Severus arched one eyebrow and extended one hand. He rubbed his thump over her lips, wiping drops of spit away. He just straightened a little and let his hand drop to his side as the door opened and the first students entered.

“Am I presentable?” he whispered and felt not at all like it.

Rose shifted so he stood with his back to the class. She smoothed over his jacket.

“Fine!" she spat as if they´d argued already for some time. “Then explain to the Headmaster why you won´t hold my lessons anymore.” With played fury she glared up, barely able to contain a chuckle due to Severus´ dumbstruck expression, and stormed past him to her chair, hiding her grin behind a curtain of hair.

Draco and Hermione sat down at each of her sides.

"What was that?" Hermione asked and looked confused from Rose to Snape's back. Draco said nothing but pierced her with his gaze.

Severus turned, not because he wanted but rather because he had to, though he still felt not presentable. He coughed slightly and put on his best cold glare.

No one dared to say a word about their Professors slightly dishevelled appearance.  But a lot of her classmate’s gazes darted to Rose.

"Oh you naughty girl," Draco whispered into her ear, followed by a low chuckle, "What have you done with him?" 

Rose just grinned.

Severus shot the first row a nasty look. Bad enough that Rose managed to make him forget any caution but he would not tolerate this smug grin of hers. At least not in his class. They had to maintain at least a little pretence. He cleared his throat.

"Today you will learn to find out how to identify ingredients in a potion without a recipe at hand and additionally you will determine which one of these," he gestured over to the cauldrons, "has an error and what exactly is wrong with it." At the last part he looked again to the first row. Rose slipped a bit down on her chair, trying very hard not to laugh.

"You start with identifying each potion for yourself and form then into three groups. Each group picks one potion."

All students went and ladled a spoon full of each potion into a vial, starting to test them.

Huddling a bit closer Draco leant towards Rose and asked once again, “What have you done?”

Rose looked around, seeing that Severus was at the back of the class, she leant over to Draco. “Let´s just say he had a hard time to concentrate with my hand and my mouth on his lower region…So he messed up with one of the potions.” She gestured to the cauldron on the left side of Severus´ workbench.

Draco fought to keep his sudden fit of laughter at bay.

Hermione gasped, “Rose!” and clasped one hand over her mouth to stifle her own laughter what drew Snape´s attention on them.

Glaring threateningly, Severus stepped up to them. “If it might be in your ability to wait until after this class to discuss private matters?” he asked tersely with merely hidden irritation.

“Of…of…course,” Draco managed to snort and earned a death glare.

“I´m sorry…” Rose whispered seriously. “It´s just…you look slightly flustered.”

“Oh…Do I? And whose fault is that?” He leant down to whisper directly into her ear. “You will pay for this later.” An ominous smirk spread over his face and Rose was not sure if she really should be excited.

A timid knock distracted everyone´s attention from the whispered conversation of the front row to the door.

“Yes?” Severus barked. Slowly the door cracked open. “Hurry up! I won´t wait the whole day for you!”

A lanky fifth grade Ravenclaw boy entered. “It´s for you, sir…” He held a parchment roll in trembling fingers. Severus snatched it and waved the boy away.

He returned to his desk, opened the message and read. His face got darker with every word. Briefly he glanced at Rose who watched him with furrowed brows.

Given that Severus' mood was obviously near boiling point after receiving the note, Rose and Draco sobered immediately and worked as hard as possible.

“Save the potion and your notes. You will work on it next week again,” Severus said dismissively at the end of the lesson and waved for the class to go.

Rose stayed behind, eying him cautiously. Something had happened. There was no way he could deny it again.

“What is it?”

Severus looked up and suddenly his mood changed. He smiled and drew her close into his arms.

“Nothing important. Don´t dawdle too long after the feast. I´ll wait for you,” he said with a mischievous grin.

Rose gazed unhappily at him. She wasn´t convinced at all and given Severus intense and watchful gaze he knew that too. However, in the end Rose decided it wasn´t worth the trouble to anger Severus and spoil their evening with prodding at things he obviously didn´t want to share with her. Certainly this particular problem could wait a day longer.

“Prepare for a long night,” she whispered, grinning.


	17. Chapter 17

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose entered the Great Hall with Pansy Parkinson barely two minutes after Severus.

“No! Is that? That can´t be…Ron, look! Is that Rose?” Draco turned in mock-wonder to Ron, elbowing him into the side to make him swallow faster.

“Looks like her,” Ron said quickly and stuffed the next sausage into his mouth.

“I´m not that much away,” Rose protested.

Hermione chuckled and exchanged a look with Draco. Even Neville grinned as if Rose had made a really good joke.

“You´re idiots, all of you.” Rose huffed and flopped on the free seat next to Ron.

“Thanks.” Draco leant over Ron and pulled at Rose. She overbalanced and landed in Ron´s lap where Draco tried to whisper into her ear which wasn´t successful at all with him laughing out loud and Ron struggling to get the two of them off him.

“What Draco tries to say is that Snape was in an exceptional good mood as he virtually bounced to his seat. We´re curious why.” Ron had to raise his voice so Rose could hear him over Draco´s laughter.

The first heads turned their way.

Rose, however, only smiled and buttered a toast. She kept silent to every question of her friends and was just done with breakfast as a warm hand settled on her shoulder.

“Good morning.” Remus smiled down at her. “You like to walk with me?”

Rose gazed briefly at Remus before her eyes flitted over to Severus who didn´t look like being in a good mood at all. He watched Remus and Rose like a hawk ready to swoop down on its prey.

Rose couldn´t help but think about Elise again, after all she had been the one putting the idea of Severus being right to be jealous in her mind. What was it Severus saw right now, Rose wondered.

Remus frowned about Rose´s hesitation and already nodded. “It´s all right if you don´t want to. I´m fine on my own.” He smiled again, though this time it seemed a little forced, and moved to leave as Rose stood up, flashing him a toothy grin.

“Around the lake?” She looped her arm around his and pulled him gently into motion.

Loads of people watched them leave together but no one as intently as Severus who gritted his teeth and Lavender who looked curious with a wicked glint in her eyes.

***

A chill wind blew from across the lake and made it unmistakable clear that, despite the sun and cloudless sky, it was closer to winter than to summer. Rose wrapped her cloak tighter around herself.

“We can go back inside when you´re cold.” Remus pointed over his shoulder at the castle.

“No, it´s fine. I just didn´t think it would be that cold.”

“Wait.” Remus slipped out of his cloak and then his cardigan, holding the latter out for Rose. “Wear it. Come on, it won´t eat you.” Remus chuckled about Rose´s wary gaze.

Slowly Rose accepted the offered garment and changed into it. She had to roll the sleeves up so they bunched around her wrists and it was a bit tricky to pull her cloak back over but after a small struggle she succeeded, feeling already much warmer.

“Better?”

“Thank you.” Rose smiled. She watched Remus watching her. His eyes glittered in the sun and a few lines appeared on his face as he smiled softly. The wind blew his hair into his eyes and ruffled it more than usual. Rose caught herself staring and turned away. Ok, so obviously Elise was right. Remus was a handsome man, maybe not commonly but enough to attract her. Attract her? Rose started about her thoughts. Really, where did that came from? She really shouldn´t think anything like that.

“Severus was in a much better mood than yesterday. I take your private Halloween party was a success?” Remus asked from behind her.

Rose heard the grin in his voice but kept staring ahead, hopping over a little rock instead of walking around.

“Essentially, yes, but he has secrets. He got a letter yesterday and after reading it he was really pissed off. I asked after the lesson but he changed the topic and lied that it is nothing. You´re his friend, don´t you know what this is about? Does he talk to you?”

Remus kept silent for so long that Rose turned around. He regarded her with an anxious expression.

“Remus, please, just tell me if you know about it.”

Ever so slowly, Remus nodded. “Yes, I know what troubles him, but I can´t tell you. I mean, of course I could but it´s not my place to do so. That´s exclusively something Severus should explain to you.”

“But he doesn´t. He only shuts me out.” Rose stamped her foot on the ground and crossed her arms, pouting petulantly.

Remus sighed and softly one of her arms, pulling it out of the tight coil in front of her chest. “I told him he should talk to you. I can do it again, but I can´t promise he will follow that advice suddenly only because he hears it for the umpteenth time.”

Rose opened her lips slightly. Her tongue prodded against her teeth. Her expression was exasperated.

“Rose…”

“No, it´s all right,” she snipped, pulling her arm out of his light grip. “I just stop asking and accept that no one tells me important things. Like always.” She swirled around and stormed ahead, unable to control her sudden anger.

She hadn´t come far as Remus grasped her hand and held her back.

Her hand was chill but Remus´ was not, sending waves of warmth into her skin. Rose´s breath came in agitated puffs. She was so very aware of Remus’ touch that her skin started to prickle, but that was not what was on her mind the most.

After turning around she´d looked at Remus and now she couldn´t look away. His gaze held her more in place than his hand did and the longer their eyes were connected the more confused Rose became. Her heart picked up in its pace, thumping with jittery beats.

“Sorry,” Remus said finally, pulling first his hand and then his gaze away from Rose. “I forgot what I was about to say.”

Rose took a step back, bringing room between Remus and herself, trying to dislodge the awkward feeling that started burning in her chest. She still couldn´t form coherent thoughts.

“I´ll…uh…I´ll go back. To the castle, that is. For homework.” Rose snapped her mouth shut, horrified about her stuttering, and brushed past Remus who, however, held her back again.

“Rose, are you all right?” A line of worry formed between his eyes as he frowned.

Rose took a deep breath, berating herself inwardly for behaving so stupidly. She squared her shoulders and smiled, hoping it looked natural.

“Yes. I´m fine. I just need to tackle this pile of homework before I go back to Severus later.”

“Oh, so you won´t come for tea?” Remus´ mouth turned slightly downwards.

“I´m not sure yet. If Severus is too busy with grading, I´ll drop by.” Rose touched Remus’ arm in a placating manner and giggled as he quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug.

“What do you think about if I´d tie Sirius to a chair so he´d be there when you visit?”

Rose peered up, seeing the mischievous grin on Remus´ face that made his eyes sparkle boyishly. “Shouldn´t you save that for bed?”

Remus closed his eyes and shook his head, his whole body vibrated with laughter.

“I´m sure with this prospect he´d agree happily to stay like this until you´ll leave again.”

“No…Please don´t plant such pictures into my poor, innocent mind,” Rose cried, laughing too.

Remus pulled her close again so her head was tucked against his chest, still laughing. “I´m rather sure your mind is everything but innocent.”

***

“Ah!” Lavender grinned as she looked over at Rose who just climbed through the portrait hole.

Rose didn´t like the grin she saw on Lavender´s face or the worried glances from her friends who sat across the room in front of the fire.

“You know, for some time I really, I mean **really** , thought I´d be right with my assumptions of you and Snape,” Lavender started. “Even though you rejected it vehemently.”

“Lavender, whatever you think you know, it´s not true,” Rose said defensively, fearing the worst and indeed Lavender delivered immediately.

“Oh, so all your visits to Professor Lupin and your behaviour around each other are not as it looks like?”

Rose gaped. “Honestly? That's your conclusion? I denied a relationship with Snape for months so you just take the next person I´m spending time with to insinuate there´s something between us? Why not suggest I have something with Sirius?” Rose snapped even though she tried to stay calm but it was difficult with Lavender´s persistent grin.

“I saw you,” Lavender said with a sweet voice that reminded too much of Umbridge for anyone´s comfort. “You´re barely able to keep from kissing in public.”

“We´re not...we’re just…Lavender you´re so wrong it hurts!” Rose spluttered. She tried to ban the images from her mind, how Remus had looked at her just now at the lake. She could feel his hand touch hers and his cardigan smelled strongly like him.

She shook her head, this unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach made her slightly nauseous.

By now the whole common room was silent while everyone listened avidly.

“So you stared for a whole minute or so at each other just for fun? Not to mention all that touching.” Lavender´s eyes travelled triumphantly over Rose. “And that isn´t his cardigan either, I´m sure.”

Rose closed her eyes, grabbling for composure. “I was cold.”

“That´s exactly why my boyfriend would give me his jumper too.”

Rose felt a headache build and rubbed over her temples, finally saying, “Lavender it´s just like the last time. No matter what I´m saying, you won´t believe me and honestly I´m not in the mood to argue about your flight of fancy.” With that Rose rounded Lavender and climbed the stairs to the dormitory, returning after a few moments with her school bag.

“I´m in the library if anyone has to know.”

She´d come only as far as the first stairs as she heard footsteps behind her. Peering back she saw Hermione, Draco and Ron climb through the portrait hole and she was definitely not in the mood for their suspicions as well.

Hurriedly Rose slipped around a column near the stairs and waited for her friends to pass her then she changed directions and took every short cut she knew to come as fast as possible to the dungeons.

Severus opened with an impatient scowl, already snapping, “Mister Grant, has no one ever taught you…oh, Rose…” Severus peered around the door frame and ushered her inside. “What do you want, I´ll have someone for detention tonight.”

“Do I need now an official invitation to see you?” Rose frowned. Severus´ lips twitched lightly in something that looked a lot like disapproval.

His eyebrows rose and then rose higher as he looked more closely at Rose. “You´re wearing Remus´ clothes again,” he remarked.

Rose huffed. “And you´re unreasonable jealous again,” she retorted promptly.

They stared at each other, both setting their jaws.

“I don’t want you to be so close to him,” Severus said finally tersely.

Rose snorted. “That´s ridiculous and you know that.”

“Ridiculous? Do you actually notice how much time you spend with Remus? Always under the pretence of having tea with Black only that he´s never attending those meetings. Just coincidentally, of course.” Severus had paled in his anger, hands clenched to fists at his sides.

“We´re just friends.”

“You must know.”

“Yes, I must know.”

Rose turned with the knock on the door, almost knocking the student behind down as she stormed out of the office and down the corridor.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> thank you to everyone leaving comments or kudos, it´s highly appreciated and I love reading your opinion. I always smile when I get the notification about new kudos or comments, it´s really elating :)  
> I know you´re a little confused at the moment as to what is happening and where it will lead us to. I promise there is an ulterior motive and I have my reasons. As always you have to be patient with me.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

The whole Sunday, Rose had neither seen Remus for tea or otherwise nor Severus in general. Not that she´d not tried at least with Severus. But as she went to him around lunch time, he didn´t open. Filch had found her knocking repeatedly and grousing. He´d told her then that “The Professor went into the forest, collecting stuff for his brewing business.”

Rose had given up then and hoped she´d see him later, she couldn´t let their argument stand between them. Though Severus didn´t appear for dinner either and again didn´t open as she knocked.

While Severus seemingly ignored her, the new gossip about Rose´s relationship with Remus spread like wildfire.

On Monday morning Rose entered the potions classroom to find Severus in such a horrible mood that she´d preferred to leave again. But he had seen her already and she didn´t want to make everything worse with running away.

“Back to your potions. I´ll collect your notes after the lesson. No points for everyone who hasn´t finished identifying the potion and the ingredients until then.” With a flourish of his black robes he disappeared into the storage room, shutting the door with a thwack.

“Thanks ever so much, Lavender,” Rose muttered.

“You really have to clear that. He hasn´t been that ill-tempered for ages and actually it only fuels the rumours.”

Rose directed a questioning look at Draco. Maybe not listening to Lavender or the talk in general wasn't a good idea in the end.

“Lavender noticed his mood drop as the talking about you and Remus reached the teachers,” Draco whispered. “She claims he´s jealous.”

Rose groaned and quickly went to fetch their cauldron.

***

The end of the lesson was signalled by Severus sweeping into the classroom and waiting impatiently for the students to hand him their notes. Rose deliberately waited until everyone else had lined up before taking the last position in the cue.

As she extended her paper she didn´t let go with the unfortunate consequence that it was ripped in two as Severus pulled at it.

Severus´ eyes narrowed.

“Looks just like you´re returning to earning zero points for your work,” he said silkily.

Rose gulped. “That´s not fair. It´s not as if I couldn´t repair it.”

“So?” Severus´ eyes glinted maliciously. “Show me how you manage that.”

Before Rose could react, the paper crumpled to ashes.

“You…” Her eyes had gone wide and right now she was beyond caring if they were alone or not. “Have you lost your mind? Are you so jealous that you have to behave like a sulking toddler?”

Thankfully Hermione had possessed enough foresight and had ushered everyone quickly out of the room so no one overheard Rose's shout.

For a split second it seemed as if Severus would relent, but then his expression closed off again and a cold sneer stretched his lips.

“Ten points from Gryffindor,” he said and, ending the argument before Rose could start it, stalked out of the room.

Rose gritted her teeth then whirled around and stomped away.

She´d reached the entrance hall and had just set her mind to leave the castle for some time as someone called her name. Someone she really didn´t want to see right now, but she had obviously no choice.

“You look like a thundercloud,” Remus said carefully.

“What a surprise,” Rose snapped and tore the portal open. The wind from the weekend had picked up and had brought rain clouds which had started emptying itself in a soft but constant and cold drizzle about an hour ago. Rose resumed her steps, storming outside.

Remus hesitated but then followed, heading Rose off as she turned towards the Quidditch pitch.

“What´s happened?”

“Severus believes Lavender´s blathering.” She pulled her arm free and marched away, her shoes started to get soaked on the wet grass. Rain clung to her glasses, made it difficult to see.

With a roll of her eyes, she acknowledged that Remus still followed her. He jogged past her and stopped her yet again, holding her by the shoulders.

***

Severus watched Rose storm down the corridor for the second time in two days. Silently he slipped out of the shadows and followed her. She seemed genuinely angry and he wondered if he hadn´t overreacted after all. He already worked out what to say to her as he watched Remus follow Rose out of the castle. Immediately his jealousy flared up again.

With some distance he walked after them, watching as Remus took Rose´s hand. She still seemed angry and stormed away, but Remus followed again and stopped her. From where Severus stood, he couldn´t distinguish their expressions or hear what they talked about but close around them was no hiding place, no tree, bush or rock, only plain grass. Risking to get caught nevertheless, he disillusioned himself and crept closer. As he was close enough to listen he stopped.

“Ok,” Rose said and looked at Remus who smiled sadly.

“It´s the right thing to do,” he said then. Remus´ hands slipped from Rose´s shoulders to her waist.

Severus clenched his hands into fists as Rose leant against Remus, her arms wound around him.

“You better talk to Severus quickly, it only gets worse when you wait too long.” Remus pushed Rose away and then bent down.

Severus stood slightly behind Rose, but there was no mistake that this was a kiss. No peck on the cheek. Remus kissed Rose.

Severus growled and hastened away.

***

Rose swallowed.

“Maybe you should stop this. Kissing me seems not very smart with all the talking.” The small voice in the back of her mind called for attention again. It sounded an awful lot like Elise and pointed happily out that they must indeed look like a couple to everyone else.

“It´s no real kiss,” Remus protested but relented immediately. “I see your point and from afar it might look very different. I´m sorry.”

“I´ll tell you when I need your help.”

Rose walked back into the castle. First thing she wanted to do was change into dry clothes. But entering through the portal she stopped as she heard and then saw a group of people shouting at each other.

“I **saw** them!” Lavender insisted. Her hair hung limp and wet over her shoulders.

Rose groaned. She could imagine vividly what exactly Lavender had seen.

“And it fits perfectly. The love bites, her secrecy, her wearing his clothes. I mean honestly it´s not the first time she comes back and has something from Professor Lupin. Last time it was a shirt. Did you know she sleeps in it?”

“You´re talking bullshit!” Draco snapped. “You jump to conclusions based on assumptions.”

Lavender hesitated as she spotted Rose coming closer.

But Rose said nothing. She shook her head and headed towards the Grand Staircase just as Sirius came from upstairs.

“Rose! What is all that talk about Remus and you?” he demanded to know loudly.

“No.” Rose said. “Not you too. Please tell me you don´t believe it.”

“Well…”

Rose huffed in frustration. “You´re stupid! All of you! For once use your common sense!”

***

Rose was angry enough that no one dared to talk to her as she stormed past everyone and disappeared into the girls´ dormitory. Well, everyone except one.

“Rose?” Hermione poked her head into the bathroom. She watched for a moment how Rose angrily towelled her hair dry. The long locks fell now even messier than usual over her shoulder. With a sigh Hermione brandished her wand through the air and Rose´s hair was dry and a little less wild.

“Remus is downstairs. He´d come up but is unsure if you want to see him. But now our housemates goggle him like a rare insect…Well he gave me this in case you don´t want to come down.” She gave Rose a small roll of parchment.

Rose looked at the note, pocketed it and closed her eyes for a moment

“Why would anyone think there is something between me and Remus?” she asked, gazing through the mirror at Hermione.

“Oh, well…You know…Lavender isn´t completely wrong. You´re rather close and you spend much time with Remus alone and…and I thought I saw him kiss you too. Recently after lunch.” Hermione gazed sheepishly at Rose, blushing ever so softly.

“But there is nothing by Merlin´s beard!” Rose turned and stormed out of the bathroom, pulling her jumper over her head and peeling her jeans off even before she reached her bed. Why was everyone seeing something that wasn´t there?

Hermione followed slower while Rose still groused.

“I just like him, nothing more. Would Sirius understand Severus better I´d probably talk to him.” Rose pulled dry clothes out of her trunk and dressed. “What?” she asked as she caught Hermione´s gaze.

“It´s obvious that you like Remus. But as a more objective person than you I can tell you that, when you´re together, you don´t look like _just friends_ or whatever you are.” Hermione had emphasized the ‘just friends’ with making quotation marks in the air.

“Fine. And how do we look like?” Rose rolled her eyes.

“Well…you see…I won´t go as far as to say like a couple but it´s a close thing. You are so familiar with each other and Remus hugs you all the time and there is **something** when you´re together.” Hermione had spoken very quietly as if afraid Rose would lash out.

But Rose did nothing like that. She pursed her lips and pulled the air in through her lips, creating a high squeaking sound, frowning heavily.

“Just hypothetically speaking, could I have a crush on him without noticing?”

Hermione stuck her bottom lip out, humming thoughtfully. “Do you think you have?”

“That´s why I´m asking. Look, I know how it felt as I started having feelings for Severus, but what I feel for Remus is…nothing like that. But with everyone pointing out that there seems to be more it´s…I have this thought in my head now and I keep stumbling over it if I want to or not.” Rose frowned unhappily.

“It´s about **your** feelings. You must know what you feel. But when you say it isn´t anything romantic then it will be true, won´t it?”

And there was it again: She had to know…

Rose sighed.

“Remus is downstairs?”

Hermione nodded.

Most of the students had left for their afternoon classes. The common room was therefore rather empty, except for the few students having a free period.

As Rose came downstairs, Remus stood at one window gazing outside. He turned as Rose approached.

“I´m sorry.” Remus looked pained.

“Me too.” Rose stopped close to Remus.

“I spoke to Sirius, he´s sorry too and knows he overreacted.” The briefest smile crossed Remus face before his expression turned troubled again. “I also tried to speak to Severus, but he slammed the door into my face and told me unequivocally to get lost.”

Rose took a quivering breath. “Tell me what to do and how to get through to him and I´ll do it.”

Remus raised both eyebrows while inhaling slowly then he nodded to some internal train of thought. “There´s an obligatory meeting in the staffroom after dinner. Severus can´t stay away. Maybe, with everyone else and especially Albus there, he´s more inclined to listen.” 

***

Rose was more than nervous as she sat in the staffroom. With every opening of the door her stomach clenched and unclenched as it was again not Severus.

But then every other teacher was present and Dumbledore peered with a frown at the clock.

He stood up and welcomed his colleagues, announcing the points which had to be discussed, as the door opened again.

Severus slipped inside and with neither an apology nor an explanation for his lateness sat down next to Minerva McGonagall. It was the only free chair and it wasn´t by chance that it was opposite from Rose. Severus, however, didn´t look in any other direction as to where Dumbledore stood.

Rose had to wait the whole meeting in which Severus´ gaze wavered not once from the Headmaster. But then Dumbledore wished everyone a good night.

Rose stood up before Severus had time to push his own chair back.

The room was oddly silent as she addressed Severus.

His eyes narrowed as he stared at Rose who quickly moved towards the door and reached it just in time with him.

“Go away. I don´t need your explanations. I saw enough,” he snapped and closed his hand around the handle.

Rose didn´t move. “If you´d listen, you´d see that you saw nothing.”

Severus spat out an aborted laugh, pulling at the door. Rose blocked his attempt to leave, pressing herself against the door.

“Wouldn´t you be so damned secretive and talk to me instead of keeping everything to yourself it wouldn´t have come this far.” Rose pushed again against the door, trying to keep her stance.

“Is that your explanation for breaking up with me? Unload the blame on me?” Severus tore forcefully the door open, sending Rose tumbling to the floor.

“But I don´t…” she started but already spoke to the air alone as Severus rushed away.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like emotional rollercoaster?....

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

The wards to Severus´ office didn´t let her through. Rose banged her fists against the unyielding wood and howled in frustration.

“Rose?” Elise appeared at the other end of the corridor. “Did something happen?”

“No, of course not I´m trying to break into this room just for fun,” Rose snapped and thrummed against the door again.

“Stop it!” Elise said unfamiliar stern but in contrast touched Rose´s shoulder gently. “You should take a step back from this situation. Literally.”

Rose was still too agitated to calm down but she followed Elise nonetheless.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elise offered as Rose sat in the patient´s chair, hugging a big, violet pillow to her chest.

“He thinks I´m breaking up with him because I´m with Remus now. He didn´t even listen or waited for my explanation, he just ran away.” Rose swallowed heavily.

“Ok, so Severus thinks the rumour is true and believes you capable of betraying him and subsequently leaving him for his best friend?”

Rose only nodded to Elise´s pretty accurate summary of the current events, startling as Elise added, “But it isn´t true, is it?”

“Blimey! You drive me crazy!” Rose shouted, louder than she´d intended. “Why does everyone assume I have something with Remus just because we´re close?”

Elise´s expression betrayed nothing of her thoughts as she waited calmly for Rose to finish her outbreak.

“I can only speak for myself, but what I hear about this man from you and how you are when you talk about your time with him…My feeling is that you have deeper feelings for him than you want to acknowledge.”

“Is that so?” Rose asked, arching her eyebrows in disbelieve.

Elise smiled softly. “The heart is a complicated thing, full of secrets and miracles.”

Rose couldn´t help but snort at this and quirked her eyebrows.

“Tell me how things are when you are with Remus. What are you doing?” Elise asked, obviously not offended by Rose´s reaction to her words.

“We talk.”

“More detail please. Tell me from the last time you met.”

“That was earlier. He followed me after I had an argument with Severus. I don´t see what use it is to talk about that.”

Elise sighed. “When you visit Remus in his rooms, what are you doing there?” she asked, ignoring Rose´s unwillingness to cooperate.

“He makes tea or hot chocolate. We talk. That´s all.”

“Rose, you´re deliberately unhelpful. I know that there´s more than just conversation.”

Rose deflated visibly. She sunk back into the pillows and lowered her head, thinking about the question. “We sit often on the sofa together. We cuddle often when we talk and most of the time he strokes my arm or plays with my hair. There´s always some kind of connection between us whether because Remus touches me or because I hug him or whatever.”

Elise gazed intently at her but instead of commenting on this obviously rather intimate relationship, she asked, “What do you feel when you go to him? There has to be a reason why you seek him out to confide in instead of your friends or your godfather.”

This time Rose didn´t hesitate with her answer. “I feel safe with Remus and he understands me. He knows Severus too and I can talk to him openly.”

“Ok.” Elise nodded satisfied. “And now describe me how it is between you and Severus, given that you don´t argue.”

“Uhm, Severus works a lot and most of the time I sit on his sofa and watch him. Often I have to remind him that I´m there but when I go to him he stops working and…It´s not all the time like that. Sometimes he´s already waiting for me, mostly with an air of impatience.” Rose smiled as she thought about Severus sitting in his study, glancing every few seconds at the clock while he waited that it was finally time for her arrival. “We don´t talk overly much. That doesn´t mean we don´t talk at all, but that is mostly after we…uhm…after we had sex.” Rose blushed. “Mostly we talk in bed and Severus likes to hold me close and play with my hair.” Rose blushed more and was grateful that Elise didn´t look at her but seemed captivated by the pattern of the carpet.

“And you feel safe with Severus as well. You have even some very good reasons for that.” Elise glanced at Rose and noticed her agreeing nod. “Did you notice how similar your descriptions are? Both Remus and Severus have close physical contact to you, naturally Severus more intimate than Remus but still. And you feel safe with both of them, seeking them out for comfort when you feel unwell or when something happened to you or around you. Like as you fell in love with Severus and felt miserable, what is understandable given the circumstances, you spoke with your closest friends but who really comforted you and was successful was Remus.” Elise fell silent, watching Rose process her words.

“You never meant it as a trick question as you asked if I have a crush on Remus, did you?”

Elise met Rose´s frown with a smile.

“I´m not in love with Remus,” Rose said firmly and rose to her feet.

“You must know, don´t you?” Elise said, smiling even more.

“Yes. I do.” Rose turned and left without looking back, hating how similar to the recent argument with Severus this conversation had ended and to her conversation with Hermione as well. It was just as if everyone doubted her ability to know her own feelings. Even she wouldn´t be able to miss something like falling in love with the best friend of her boyfriend and the partner of her godfather. Honestly what did everyone think?

***

Rose had brooded the whole night about Elise´s words. She´d tried to get an objective view on her feelings but failed naturally. The only thing she´d managed was to become confused and start doubting her intuition.

In the morning she stood up with a bad mood, treating everyone with silence and caustic glances.

She contemplated ditching breakfast just to avoid the other students, but her stomach growled loudly and anyway at the moment she felt more like greasy bacon and sausages instead of enduring Transfiguration on an empty stomach.

Rose reached the entrance hall without any fuss, maybe her death glare was indeed enough to scare everyone away.

Though, not really everyone. Obviously.

“Rose, are you all right?” Remus stopped at the doors of the Great Hall.

For a split-second, Rose was about to snap at Remus, but then it wasn´t his fault that everything was just as it was right now. She shrugged.

“I tried to talk to him, but he has added something to his wards so I couldn´t enter. Elise found me attacking the door and took me with her to talk,” she confessed sheepishly.

“And did it help?” Remus gazed compassionately at Rose, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

“Five points from Gryffindor for blocking the door,” a cold voice snarled from behind them. “And five more for displaying such an inappropriate behaviour.”

Rose flinched and jerked away from Remus. Severus´ eyes glittered murderously.

“Seve…” she started. The plea to listen to her already forming in her mind and on her tongue as Severus squared his shoulders.

“Do you need an extra invitation to enter or do I have to take more points?” Severus spat caustically, his expression twisted into a furious glare. “Or maybe you want to retreat to somewhere more private? An empty classroom maybe?”

Remus pulled Rose aside, letting Severus pass them. They watched how he stalked rigidly through the Great Hall to sit down at the Head Table.

“Why won´t he listen?”

“I think he can´t at the moment. But, let´s not talk here.” Remus eyed the watching crowd wearily.

For the first time, Rose hesitated to follow Remus but let him guide her away from the noise of the chatting students and their curious glances anyway. They walked the whole way to Remus´ office in silence, though as soon as the door was closed behind them, Remus spoke at once.

“He can´t listen because he´s half mad with jealousy.”

Rose gazed at her hands, chewing on the inside of her cheek. What would happen if she told Remus about Elise´s suspicions? Would he laugh? She didn’t think she could stand that. Most likely, though, he would suggest to stop seeing her in private how he had done already the other time and that was as well nothing Rose would want to risk. She wouldn´t lose her talks to Remus over such nonsense.

Remus shifted closer, his shoes appearing in Rose´s field of vision. He touched two fingers under her chin, tilting her head up.

“What´s wrong?”

Rose looked into Remus´ eyes and the words fell out of her mouth before she had time to filter them or think about if she really wanted to tell Remus. “Elise thinks I have feelings for you which I don´t have acknowledged until now and Hermione thinks there´s more between us than only friendship and I can´t stop thinking about all of it. Could it be true and everyone sees more than me?”

Remus seemed frozen for a second, unable to react or unsure how to react at all and Rose felt the pressing need to run, but then he started smiling. “This Healer really plays with your head, darling, doesn´t she? As one part of ‘the two of us’ I can tell you that I don´t think you have any suppressed feelings for me. I think you´re rather clear about your feelings and that you love Severus. I never thought it is more than, well, let´s keep calling it friendship.” Remus waited a moment but as Rose kept silent he added, “I like how it is between us but if you want more distance and less affectionate behaviour then you have to tell me.”

“What? No. The whole nature of our relationship is part of why I love being with you so much and why I think I can tell you everything.”

Remus smiled and pulled Rose into a comforting hug, stroking her back.

“Then maybe you should start giving a damn about the opinion of others and do what is good for you.”

“Severus is good for me,” Rose whispered, adding “How can I make him listen?”

“How you changed his mind every time. Don´t let him get away with it.” The left corner of Remus´ mouth twitched. “Corner him. Hex him if necessary.” Now Remus chuckled.

“I´ll try,” Rose said, grinning a little too. “Thank you for being here.”

“I´m always there when you need me, especially for hugs and so on.” Remus grinned.

***

The following Transfiguration class seemed to be the longest Rose had ever attended. Every few minutes, sometimes even only seconds, she glimpsed at her wristwatch. She shifted restlessly on her seat and sighed repeatedly.

“Miss Potter, what in Merlin´s name is so much more important than your education?” Professor McGonagall snapped as Rose sighed yet again and pulled her sleeve over her arm.

Rose peered up, not able to give a satisfying answer, at least not in front of her classmates. She apologised and glanced ruefully at her desk.

McGonagall regarded her with a stern gaze but returned without further ado to the lesson.

Rose still fidgeted on her chair but kept herself from checking the time. However, as the bell rang she was the first to jump up and disappeared with nothing more than a brief, “I have to go.”

She went at first to the Potions classroom, but Severus wasn´t there. Actually the whole dungeon seemed to be deserted. She didn´t meet a single student. But most of all she didn´t meet Severus who wasn´t in his office or private quarters either. A little clueless, Rose walked back up into the much warmer entrance hall.

Draco headed her off, pulling her aside.

“Severus is in the library. I´m not sure you should go to him, though.”

Rose pursed her lips. “That bad?”

“Worse.” Draco gave her a meaningful gaze.

“Thanks for the warning, but when I don´t talk to him it only gets really, really bad.” Rose grimaced something like a suffering smile and started towards the staircase.

“Rose!” Draco called and waited until she looked back. “Good luck.”

***

The library had a closed sign at the door. Rose stopped and frowned. The library never had been closed, not in all her years here at Hogwarts.

Cautiously she peered through the glass but the room was indeed empty.

Rose tried the handle anyway and was relieved to find it unlocked. She glanced over her shoulder, but the corridor was as empty as the library. Quietly she closed the door behind her and went in the direction she assumed Severus to be.

She found him finally in the restricted section. Sighing, she ignored the “no admittance” sign and walked up to him.

“Severus?”

He didn´t turn or acknowledge that he was aware of her presence in any kind, only the growing tension in his shoulders showed that he must´ve heard her.

“Please listen to me.”

He still didn´t look at her, but he also didn´t run away again so Rose decided that that was the most she would reach and started her explanation.

“I know you believe the rumours about me and Remus, but you shouldn´t. They aren´t true. There is nothing between us. Please, you have to believe me.”

“Do I now?” Severus snarled. He thumped the book he was holding on a table in front of him. His shoulders rose and fell with each panting breath. “I saw you together.” He barely opened his teeth as he forced the words out.

Rose made a tentative step forwards. “Whatever you saw you misread it.”

“Indeed?” Severus whirled around. “How should I misread that he kissed you?”

Rose shook her head. How many more people had watched that scene?

“Remus…He kissed the corner of my mouth. You know he does that.” Rose stepped closer, backing Severus against the table behind him. Cautiously she reached out for him. “Please believe me.” She touched his chest, felt his heartbeat under the tips of her fingers. “I love you.”

Severus didn´t move one muscle.

“Severus…say something. Anything. Please, talk to me.” Rose had now both her hands on his chest.

Severus opened his mouth but kept silent. Without warning he slung his arms around Rose, pulling her against him.

“I´m sorry for not believing you. I was stupid to think that you and Remus…I should´ve known you´d never…” he broke off, searching seemingly for words.

“Yes,” Rose said sternly but then smiled. “If you´d have just listened to me…”

“I was afraid to lose you. I couldn´t think clearly. Forgive me.”

He had moved closer, his breath brushed warm over Rose´s skin. And then his lips touched hers.

The kiss went quickly from comforting to demanding and passionate. Neither of them paid heed to the risk of getting caught as Severus started with sure fingers to open her trousers and shoved them together with her knickers down before he lifted her up on the closest table and fumbled on his belt.

Rose kicked the hindering clothes aside and wrapped her legs around Severus. He groaned as he buried himself into her.

“Rose,” he moaned lowly after the first erratic thrusts and bent down to her neck, sucking the soft skin and leaving a bright purple mark right above her pulse point . Rose arched up in response and moaned something incoherent as her orgasm hit her completely by surprise.

Severus groaned and thrust harder.

The bell rang, signalling the end of lunchtime and surely the close arrival of Madam Pince and the one or two students usually occupying the library.

Severus gripped Rose´s hips, pulling her closer to the edge of the table.

Quite as Rose had assumed they heard voices at the door, one of them Madam Pince reprimanding someone for shoving.

Severus groaned and Rose already feared they would get caught as he stifled his final moan at her shoulder. His frantic strokes stilled, as the door opened, the voices got louder. There was absolutely no way to deny or whitewash the situation. It only took someone to peer through the centre aisle.

Warily Severus glanced at the door and, clearly reluctant, pulled away from Rose and yanked his slacks up. Then he took Rose´s wrist, grabbed her clothes and dragged her to the back of the library, hiding behind the last shelf in the restricted area.

Rose had both her hands over her mouth and tried to silence a bout of laughter.

“I go straight to hell…” Severus groaned and straightened his clothing while Rose dressed.

“I´ll accompany you.”

Severus looked at her, his expression changing from disbelieve, due to what had happened in such a public location like the school library, to rueful.

“I´m sorry for that.” He touched the love bite at her throat.

“You know that everyone will think that it is from Remus, don´t you?”

Severus´ expression darkened. “Yeah, I do.”

Rose hesitated for a moment then asked, “What speaks against finally telling everyone about us?”

“Everything.”

“Honestly? I mean, look. Of course people talk about Remus and me, but I´m not under the impression it is such a big issue that he´s my teacher, it´s more the fact that he actually is with Sirius and everyone wonders how that works.”

“Stop there,” Severus interrupted her. “Remus isn´t Deputy Headmaster.”

“No, but he´s my Head of House.”

“That´s different.”

“I tell you what is different. It´s your attitude. You don´t want to make us official and that´s why you try to find excuses,” Rose seethed. Her happiness from only moments ago was gone completely.

“I assure you that is not the reason. Please, don´t let us fight again.” Severus looked honestly tired.

“When it´s not that, and I´m gracious and believe it, then what is it? You know the only explanation left is that it has something to do with this ominous letter you received last Friday.” Rose inclined her head slightly. She raised both eyebrows, challenging Severus to contradict her.

“You know what?” Rose snapped as Severus gave no sign of answering. “Keep your secrets to yourself. I won´t bother you again. Best I bother you with nothing ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my dear ones,
> 
> the great confrontation lies right ahead...you might´ve guessed that already. Severus can´t avoid telling the truth any longer...  
> Be prepared, new drama is about to come.
> 
> *author runs and hides under blanket*


	20. Chapter 20

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose ignored Severus the whole Wednesday, of course that included that she didn´t come to their “tutoring lesson”.

Severus went to Remus that evening, bringing him personally the last Wolfsbane potion for that day instead of sending a house-elf. Rose was there but after seeing him said a quick goodbye to Sirius and Remus and walked with her head held high out of the room.

Remus only gave him a pointed look before he gulped the vile potion and brought Severus to the door. He held the handle and whispered, “I told you you´d mess it up when you don´t talk to her. Severus, seriously, what are you thinking? Are you aware that she considers leaving you for real?”

“Yes,” Severus choked out and fled with billowing robes.

However, the next morning he was standing in front of the desk and watched the students filter into the Defence classroom. Rose was the last to come in, stopping dead as she spotted him.

“Sit! I don´t have all day!” He glanced around the class. “Professor Lupin doesn´t feel well today so I agreed to assume his classes. Open your books to chapter thirteen.”

Severus noticed Rose´s inquiring gaze linger on him.

“Sir?” Hermione lifted her hand, driving his attention away from Rose. “Professor Lupin had planned to let us work practically today.”

Severus suppressed a groan. Would there be one day this girl wouldn´t interfere?

“Yes, Miss Granger, I´m aware and Professor Lupin will catch up on it the next time he´s present in your class until then it is up to me what to teach you.”

While starting on his choice topic, Dark Magic and why it was considered dangerous, he tried to make eye contact with Rose but even though her gaze almost burned holes into his chest, she didn´t seem to really see him. After ten minutes of unchanged staring he had enough.

“Rose! Pay attention!” Severus scowled. He was sure she hadn´t heard one single word of his lecture.

Rose lowered her gaze, still not meeting his eyes so Severus resumed the lesson, but after he started with how to categorise spells, he noticed Rose doodling in her book.

“Potter!”

Her eyes snapped up. Severus barely kept from growling in frustration.

“10 points from Gryffindor, for not paying attention.” The students muttered and some shot nasty looks towards Rose. As if they weren´t used to her losing them points.

However, Severus´ hopes that Rose would pay attention now were in vain. Barely after another ten minutes, her attention drifted somewhere else and she fiddled absent-minded with her quill. Severus stopped midsentence and stared at her. Hermione indicated to shake her, but Severus shook his head and waited.  

The whole class held their breaths as he walked to Rose´s desk. Again he waited a moment in front of her before he smacked his Defence book on the desk with all he was worth. “Rose Harriet Potter!” He glared furiously down at her. “Go and report to your Head of House!”

***

It had been a long time since Severus had been so angry because of her.

Even though her inner resistance flared burning hot into life, she blushed embarrassed.

“Remus is Head of House and I thought he´s not well…” She looked up, absolutely aware of the throbbing vein on Severus´ temple. She heard him crunch his teeth before he exhaled and clicked his tongue.

“Right. The Headmaster then.” His voice was dangerously calm. Rose hadn´t seen him in this state for a long time. At least not because of her. Scrambling to her feet, she was already halfway up to Dumbledore´s office as she noticed that she had no idea what the password was. Unsure she stopped. When she went back now, Severus would behead her. Well…Remus´ office wasn´t far, maybe she could go there, anyway.

“Rose….Why aren´t you in class?” Remus frowned as he opened the door. His face looked greyish and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked miserable and Rose, feeling completely stupid, couldn´t bring herself to look at him.

“I…er…Severus sent me to my Head of House because I didn´t pay attention,” she said to her shoes.

“Well, come in and tell me from the beginning.” Remus stepped aside and signalled her then to go over to his private chambers. Groaning, he sat down in an armchair and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.

“You look really not well…I should better let you recover in peace.” Rose stood next to him and looked unsure down.

“Don´t be silly. You´re already here and listening to you won´t kill me. It was just a rough night. That happens sometimes, even with Wolfsbane.” Remus sighed and reached for his tea cup, holding it up to Rose. “You too?”

“No, really. I´m fine.” Rose smiled. Gently she touched her fingers to Remus´ forehead. “You feel warm. Have you seen Madam Pomfrey?”

Remus chuckled. “Yes, Poppy had this delicious potion, but it doesn´t seem to help much.” Remus had pulled a face at mentioning the potion.

Rose grinned. She knew not a single potion that was at least remotely tasty. Most of them were really disgusting.

She stroked a few strands of hair out of Remus’ eyes and then settled finally on the sofa opposite him, starting to explain why she´d come here in the first place. After 20 minutes of mostly ranting about Severus, Rose fell silent. Remus let out a long sigh.

“You shouldn't provoke him. Of course he's hurt. You´d be too. And believe me he knows what is at stake. You should consider giving him the time he needs and don´t threaten him to break up.”

“He already had lots of time...” Rose huffed.  

Remus inclined his head. “I know it feels awful not to know what troubles your partner. But as much as I understand your point, I understand his as well.”

“You're on his side?” Rose asked, rising from the sofa.  

“I'm on neither side.” Remus stood up too. “Hey...Come here.” He opened his arms and smiled as Rose complied without hesitation. He embraced her tightly, whispering into her hair, “Don't give up on him. Not so fast.”

***

Severus narrowed his eyes as Rose came back followed by Remus who dragged himself slowly forwards.

“I´m bringing your student back. She didn´t know the password for the Headmaster´s office and came to me. Is anything else? Otherwise I would prefer to go back to bed.” Remus leant heavily against the doorway as he waited for Severus´ answer. He panted and sweat glistened on his face.

“No, there´s nothing more.” Severus gazed at Rose whose eyes were fixed on Remus, showing a worried expression.

Severus glanced at them for a second longer then said, “Rose, come here.” He pointed to a chair beside his desk.

With a knot in her stomach, Rose sat down and saw the sympathetic looks of her friends. Obediently she waited for everyone to copy the homework description from the blackboard.

As the students had left, Severus closed the door and leant against it while he stared at Rose. Minutes elapsed and he kept staring.

“Severus…” Rose said impatiently, accusingly.

“Are we still together?” he asked with slightly quivering voice.

Rose pursed her lips but then crossed the room and took Severus´ hand.

“Will you talk to me?”

“I want to. I have to, but I don´t know how,” he whispered.

“Goddamn it, Severus! What frightens you that much?” Rose let go of his hand and threw her own in an exasperated gesture over her head.

“To lose you.” His voice sounded hollow.

Rose exhaled loudly. “Can´t you see that you´re losing me already? You drive me away, you shut me out. What could be that horrible that you still don´t talk to me?”

“My past,” he answered simply but truthfully, adding quietly, “It finally catches up with me.”

Rose didn´t understand. She gazed at Severus with a frown.

“What happened?”

Severus swallowed. “I´m summoned. Neither Albus nor Kingsley could stop the Wizengamot from pressing charges against me. My trial will be at New Year´s Eve.”

“And you couldn´t tell me that?” Rose felt betrayed. Did he trust her so little?

“It´s not the trial itself.” Severus shook his head. “But what it will mean for us.”

Rose opened her mouth to ask further, but Severus already spoke again, quick as if he wanted to stop her from talking.

“I have two classes after lunch. We meet afterwards in my chambers.” Without waiting any longer he opened the door and rushed away.

Rose stayed where she was and had a bad feeling. A very bad feeling, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, by the way. I know I said the confrontation would be in this chapter...obviously it isn´t, but instead in the next and then definitely.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.”  
> ― Khaled Hosseini

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With a knot in her stomach, Rose paced nervously up and down in Severus´ study, waiting for him to finish his last class.

It was almost 5 pm as he came, but instead of greeting her, he walked straight over to a small cabinet where he took out a bottle with an amber liquid and a glass. After considering briefly, he took a second glass, filled both and sat down in his armchair.

“Sit.” He gestured to the other chair.

Rose nodded silently. Her stomach clenched with fear. He looked too serious for her liking.

Severus took a small calming sip of his whiskey, felt it burn down his throat and emptied the rest of his glass in one gulp. He refilled it and sighed.

“Please Severus, could you just tell me what it is?” Rose asked, ignoring the quiver in her voice.

“My trial,” Severus said darkly, “They want me to account for everything concerning my time as a Death Eater and the time following the…when I…My time as a spy for Dumbledore. I have to explain each decision and action of my whole fucking live,” he explained with growing agitation. He jerked his glass to his mouth, whiskey sloshing over the rim.

“Severus…” Rose stood up and touched gently his cheek, but he shrugged her hand away, stood up and turned his back on her, gazing into the fire. As he faced her again, his eyes were pleading, pained and so utterly sad that Rose took a step forward, reaching for him again. Severus shook subtly his head.

“I have to tell you my story before you read about it in the Prophet or hear it from Merlin knows whoever else. You deserve the truth without one Rita Skeeter tempering with it.”

“You frighten me.” Rose swallowed heavily.

“Taste the drink,” Severus said, emptied his second glass and settled back down in his armchair.

Rose only eyed her glass as she sat back in her armchair. She interlaced her fingers, one of her thumbs rubbed repeatedly over the back of the other. Her heart raced. She didn´t want to hear anymore what Severus had to say. Certainly they could get over with all of this without her hearing it. But Severus started talking despite her sudden unwillingness to listen.

“I´m not a perfect person. I made wrong choices. I have done hideous things. Most people consider me a bad man.” He swallowed and Rose shook her head.

“No, don´t say that. You are not bad.”

“I changed who I used to be many years ago and I try my best to be the man you deserve, but you don´t know me. Not really.” He looked at Rose, her confused gaze but stubbornly set jaw and the final realisation hit him. The mental punch was hard enough to make him gasp for air. Rose knew nothing about his past. She had not the slightest idea how he had been and what had happened, why he´d changed after all. No one had ever told her and that it was now he himself of all people who had to tell her the whole truth was indeed cruel irony of the fate.

Rose hadn´t noticed his moment of realisation and remained stubborn. “I know enough.”

“No. No.” Severus shook his head. “You´re wrong and that´s why I need you to listen. There is so much you have to know. About me. Who I am. And all the things I have done which the Wizenamot will uncover meticulously.” Once again he swallowed, felt fear creeping up and guilt gnawing on his insides. Thankfully Rose kept silent, biting the already red and swollen flesh of her bottom lip.

“Where should I start?” Severus asked mainly himself. He had avoided this conversation not for no reason. His gaze wandered through the room, but finally he started his explanation, at the very beginning.

“I was a lonely boy with no friends until I met your mother. My father despised everything magical. That was why he despised me, maybe even more than my mother. I tried to spend as much time away from home as I could and I sought comfort in exploring my magic. I had my mother´s old books and I started reading them which led me to be able to control magic to some degree, but certainly I knew more hexes and jinxes as I arrived at Hogwarts than some of the seventh year students. Your mother promised to stay my friend even if we´d be sorted into different houses. You know that exactly that happened. I was angry with the Sorting Hat and I was frustrated because I feared I´d lose Lily so soon again.” Severus grimaced. He stared for a moment ahead, obviously reminiscing the past. “Lucius Malfoy took me under his wings as I was sorted into Slytherin and soon I was included in his group. Quickly it turned out that this group was not exclusively interested in ‘white magic’. They discussed Dark Arts en mass and I started to partake after a while. It was a path I never choose consciously at first. But for the first time I really belonged to something. I was no outsider when I was with them. Your mother greatly disliked my Slytherin friends and tried to persuade me to keep away from them. I tried to spend as much time with Lily as was possible but then, after the falling-out with her, I had no one else as the people she disliked and I was only with them anymore. It was the last step to completely turn their way.” Severus chuckled darkly. His eyes flitted to Rose but quickly left her again, staring past her into the fire. “Everyone of this circle became a Death Eater after leaving school and I was so eager to prove myself worth the place they had given me that I joined the Dark Lord as well. I embraced every opportunity to show that I was one of them. I followed the Dark Lord with all my heart, even as he set us out to murder and torture.” Another glass emptied itself into his throat and burnt pleasantly, reminding him of things that burnt worse. Rose stared at him with unblinking, big eyes.

“The Dark Lord made me his potioneer. I brewed and designed whatever he wanted. Lily worked meanwhile for the Order and thus we stood completely on different sides in that war. We had become enemies.” Severus fell silent.

“But you changed your mind. You stopped believing in Voldemort,” Rose said, sounding desperate.

“I did change my mind, yes, but only after I…Oh god Rose. I made so many mistakes but not a single one like this last. If I could turn back time and start all over again,” Severus shook his head fiercely, “I´d never become one of them.” Suddenly he stood and crouched next to Rose´s chair, seizing her hand. He kissed her wrist again and again, not consciously noticing that he mumbled, “I love you. I never meant this to happen. Rose, please forgive me. I´m so sorry. I can´t take it back. Can´t change it. I want to. I´d give anything to change it…” Rose´s second hand touching his face woke Severus from his uttered pleas and apologies. He looked up and groaned as he saw her compassionate gaze.

“Severus, what have you done that is so horrible that you ask for **my** forgiveness?” she asked, kneeling on the floor next to him.

“It´s all my fault. Everything that happened to you. Because…I was the Death Eater who told the Dark Lord about the Prophecy,” Severus whispered.

Rose froze, stared at him and then slowly she shook her head, faster and faster until everything became a blur. She leant back, away from him, but Severus grasped both her hands.

“I didn´t know that would happen. As the Dark Lord decided to go after you, I tried to fix it. I begged him to consider his decision. I couldn´t convince him, so I…Rose, back then I was a young, foolish man, barely out of school and driven by the desire to belong to something. I hated your father. I would never deny that. But Lily…Lily was everything to me. I never meant to harm her…”

Rose furrowed her brow. “I don´t understand…”

“Lily loved you. I…I knew she would rather die than let anyone hurt you. I was desperate and there was no doubt that when the Dark Lord would find you it would inevitably mean Lily´s death. I crawled back to Dumbledore. I promised anything if he only protected Lily. I begged him to hide you all,” he said between broken sobs, clutching desperately at Rose´s hands.

Rose tore her hands away from Severus and jumped up. Her face was twisted with emotions as she tried to process what she had heard.

“You asked to hide us all only because you hoped it would save my mother? So, wouldn´t it have been for her you would´ve done nothing? You wouldn´t have spared another thought about a murdered baby? Is that why you couldn´t stand me? Because your plan didn´t work? Because I lived and my mother died?” There was so much grief, pain and ire in her voice that it threatened to fail. Her hands clenched into fists by her sides while her chest heaved with each laboured breath.

“You would´ve been safe too,” Severus said desperately.

Rose snorted. “But that was not what you wanted. It was merely a side effect of your actual intention.”

Severus deflated, visibly. He felt so utterly empty and at the sight of Rose, his patched up heart shattered…again, like so many years before when he had found Lily, dead and broken. The hurtful truth slammed into him and he couldn´t do anything to stop it. She was right after all. He had never really thought about James or Rose. Not back then.

“You disgust me!” Rose spat and stormed away.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...what can I say? Most of the last comments were rather brief. Have I managed to make you speechless?  
> Anyway, today was a shitty day and what helps me most is when someone I follow uploads a new chapter, so I thought you´d like to read earlier what happens next between our two stubborn and complicated dunderheads ;)

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_“You disgust me!”_

Rose´s words resounded in his head, again and again.

Severus felt defeated. How could he ever mend this? And her words. Her words were exactly the words Dumbledore had said to him. Then. As he had begged to keep Lily safe.

Stumbling, he came to his feet and followed Rose. He caught up with her in the entrance hall.

“Rose…”

She had just reached the staircase. The Great Hall buzzed with conversations. The whole school was at dinner.

“NO!” Rose screamed, her voice toppling over. “Don´t you dare talk to me!”

“Let me explain…” Severus begged.

“You explained enough!” Rose yelled.

“I trusted you!”

She took one step forward.

“I gave you my heart!”

A second step.

“My love!”

Step.

“And you…”

She took a deep breath, shaking visibly.

“You killed my parents!”

Step.

“You promised, Severus!”

Step.

“You promised we´d always be fine. That you´d do anything for it!” Rose cried raggedly, barely able to breathe through each sob.

“You know what? You did enough!” she screamed right in his face and slapped him, leaving a red stinging hand print on his left cheek. Severus swayed but neither reacted nor said a word.

“You destroyed my life!” Rose lifted her hand again for another strike.

“Enough!” Dumbledore thundered behind them. 

Unnoticed from Rose and Severus, the whole Great Hall had watched and overheard them.

Absolutely everyone stared. Professor McGonagall had one hand over her mouth, her eyes wide in shock. Hagrid, an unreadable expression on his face, held Sirius back, while Sirius raged and struggled to get free. But in front of them was Dumbledore who stood straight as an oak. His eyes didn´t twinkle. He didn´t smile his kind and gentle smile. Instead his eyes were like steel, hard and rigid and his mouth only a tight line.

“To my office! Both of you!” he demanded in a voice that would have made even the hardest man buckle.

Rose followed Dumbledore immediately but slowly. She felt like a shell. Empty. All feelings had left in favour to give room to her thoughts which were in a riot.

It was a dream. It could only be a dream. A bad dream. This could not really happen.

On the contrary to Rose, Severus didn´t move at all. He hadn´t even stirred since Rose had slapped him.

He knew the students and his colleagues gawped at him, felt their eyes burn into him while he heard them whisper. But he couldn´t move. His whole world stood still and he watched it falling apart, unable to make it stop. He felt tears in his eyes, but he couldn´t bring himself to care about. Merlin, he was only human, too, like all of them. And at the moment he was filled to the brim with the pain that Rose´s reaction and words had left.

“Severus. Come on,” Remus said, grabbed his shoulder and pushed him in the direction he had to go.

***

Professor McGonagall knew she had to act to prevent further chaos.

A student shouted such terrible accusations to one member of the staff. Though of course it was true at least almost. But Rose had attacked Severus physically for everyone to witness. And the one and only Severus Snape stood there and had seemingly lost his precious self-control. His ever present mask had dropped and tears dripped down his face.

She heard the student’s whispers getting louder.

“Enough! All of you!” McGonagall faced the crowd. “Back to your common rooms. Immediately!”

Draco, Ron and Hermione changed worried looks. What the hell had happened?

***

Remus guided Severus into a chair beside the fire and walked then over to Rose who stroked over Fawkes´ red feathers. Remus touched Rose´s shoulder, carefully. She whirled around and hid her face at his chest. He murmured softly into her hair, stroking her back, but watched Dumbledore who didn´t face the room.

The Headmaster´s gaze travelled over Hogwarts´ lands. Only when Minerva McGonagall entered the room too, he turned, observing the situation.

Severus looked like a picture of misery. His face strained with agony. Whereas Rose looked like she would faint any second and only still stood on her feet because Remus had his arm around her. Though, Remus looked as worn out as the others.

With a deep sigh, Dumbledore sat down behind his desk. “Please, does anyone mind to tell me what happened?”

“I told Rose,” Severus´ voice was rough and very low, just above a whisper.

“You told her what?” Remus asked with a sense of foreboding. Rose trembled in his arms.

“About my involvement with the Prophecy.”

While McGonagall closed her eyes and shook her head, Dumbledore smiled sadly and nodded. “I see.” Shortly he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I absolutely agree with your decision, Severus. Better this way than another. He turned his head towards Rose who still refused to look anywhere but kept her eyes tightly closed.

“Rose, my girl...” Dumbledore stood quickly up as Rose suddenly sacked completely against Remus, almost sliding to the floor. Remus and Dumbledore carried her over to an armchair. Dumbledore conjured a glass of water.  

Severus' eyes were wide with worry, but he didn't dare to move let alone to touch Rose.

It took her a moment then Rose straightened and took a sip of the offered water.

Dumbledore watched her closely until he finally said, "I understand that the things you've heard stir you up and that it is hard to comprehend them."

"Do you?" Rose asked with flat voice. "It's a lie. Everything is a lie."

Severus squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away at her words, the pain stinging anew.

"Why do you think it's a lie? Are your feelings not real?" Dumbledore inquired with soft voice, crouching next to Rose and holding cautiously her hand.

"No they are real, but that is worse. How can I possibly love someone who took everything from me?" Rose didn't know what to think. She loved Severus, but right now she didn´t want to. If she could stop loving him, she´d do it, but then again, she couldn´t imagine leaving him. Why was everything so complicated? 

"Take your time Rose. Think about all of it. And think about why," Dumbledore squeezed her hand and stood up.

"Why?" Rose shook her head in confusion. She had no idea what the Headmaster had meant.

"Why did you fell in love with this man? You knew always he had a past, a dark one. But you chose to think it makes no difference."

"It made no difference. The past was past. But I didn´t know all of it, did I?" Rose made a small sound, something between a sob and a huff, and shook her head again.

"And still it is the past and it will always be. Nothing can be changed anymore, but you can make new decisions."

"Learning it changed **me.** " Rose stubbornly ignored Dumbledore´s obvious attempt of making her forgive Severus.

"But so it did change Severus. He is not the man he was then. Don't you think?"

Rose replied nothing further. She felt a headache cling to her brain, making her thoughts fuzzy and hard to grab, and she was exhausted.

"I advise you to visit the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey will give you something so you can sleep," Dumbledore said to Rose and turned around. "You too, Severus."

"What? No. I will go to my own chambers and..."

“I´ll go with Remus,” Rose said at the same moment, looking pleadingly over at Remus.

"It was no suggestion." Dumbledore looked over his spectacles. "Come on then."

Rose took Remus´ hand as she followed the Headmaster reluctantly. She refused to let go even as they reached the infirmary.

"Poppy, please would you be so nice and give these two something for a quiet sleep?" Dumbledore gestured at Severus and Rose.

Madam Pomfrey eyed first Dumbledore and then her new patients. She nodded but said nothing and hurried away.

Dumbledore took his glasses from his nose and wiped them thoughtfully on his grass green robes. “Remus, we should let Poppy overtake from here,” he said putting his glasses back on.

Rose clutched Remus´ hand tighter and turned against him, face pressed against his chest.

“Do as the Headmaster says. Tomorrow everything might look different.” Remus pushed Rose gently away. He stroked her cheek and kissed her hair. “Sleep well.”

Dumbledore nodded gratefully and led the way to the doors, turning again before closing them. "I hope you find a way to sort things out. I really believe you belong to each other. Good night."

Rose looked down at her hands not sure what to think about Dumbledore´s words. She wished Remus would have stayed.

Every now and then, she felt Severus' gaze flicker over her. Usually she loved when he watched her, when he seemingly couldn´t invert his eyes, but now his gaze burnt and she felt uneasy with it.

After a long, awkward and silent moment, Madam Pomfrey came back, a small bottle and two steaming cups in her hands.

"Oh dear, why haven't you two changed already?" she scolded them with a soft tut-tut. "As Professor Dumbledore required something light, you will drink the tea and take this." She held the small bottle up. "It will calm you down and give you a good night´s rest. But it will take a moment until you feel tired enough to sleep. Now off you go and change!" She pulled curtains around them and waited until both sat in their respective beds. For a moment her gaze lingered on them, but, all professional, she said nothing and gave them the 'medicine'.

With a brief "good night" she hurried away and into her small office.

The silence expanded once again. Rose drank her tea as fast as possible and lay back on the soft pillow. Her thoughts were a mess and she couldn't fix them, but slowly she felt tiredness creep though her and make her heavy. Maybe it was just the exhaustion and the warmth and softness of the bed or maybe the sleeping draught operated faster than Madam Pomfrey had said. She felt her eyes drift close as she heard a rustle beside her. She turned her head and peered over at Severus. He lay on his side, watching her.

Her heart stuttered at the expression on his face.

"I´m so sorry, Rose," he whispered gravely. A single tear rolled out of the corner of his eye and into the pillow.

Rose drew in a shuddering breath and turned to the other side. She shut her eyes and tried in vain to keep her own tears behind her closed eyelids. Behind her, she heard Severus´ muffled sob.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day after...

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Madam Pomfrey gave them permission to leave the next morning. Severus waited but as Rose continued to hide behind the curtain he left. As she finally was ready to leave too, she felt not like going back and joining the other students. She was less then eager to answer questions or hear the roaring gossip. Without really thinking about it she ended in front of Remus´ door, knocking timidly.

He opened after a few seconds. His expression changed from politely curious to empathic.

“Rose, darling.”

“Can I stay here? I can´t go back and answer questions or have them all looking at me.”

“Of course. Come in.”

Remus wrapped her into a thick blanket and made tea then he sat into the armchair opposite of Rose.

Rose chewed on the inside of her cheek, the flesh had gone raw since the previous evening, but every time she actively stopped it she found herself not long later again gnawing herself bloody.

“Why hadn´t anyone told me ever before?”

Remus gave her a pained glance, sighing deeply through his nose. “I briefly thought about telling you as you came to me, all worked up and crying last winter, but then…You told me you fell in love with Severus and it felt wrong, petty, to reveal such a truth to you especially with what had already happened between you.”

Rose took a ragged breath. She pulled the sleeves of her shirt over her hands and crossed her arms in front of her belly, slightly bending forward. Her gaze was directed to the floor.

“It wasn´t on me to tell you. It had to be Severus.” Remus stood up and sat down next to Rose. He touched her shoulder. Immediately Rose fell into his arm and sobbed. Remus pulled her into his lap. He pressed his lips to her temple, murmuring, “I know. Ssshhh. It´s going to be all right again.”

Rose cried until she was exhausted, but even after she stopped she stayed right where she was and snuggled into Remus´ calming presence.

***

Later that day Sirius stopped by. He smelled like wind and rain and said not really anything, except a brief inarticulate mumble, as he sat next to Rose on the sofa and pulled her into his arms. Remus watched them for some time with a smile until Sirius jerked his head, indicating to sit down too.

Rose adjusted her position, leaning now more into Remus with her legs draped over Sirius. Neither said a word and Rose closed her eyes, feeling completely content for the first time that day, as it knocked.

Sirius went to open and came back moments later with Elise following him.

She stopped, gazing at Rose and Remus but didn’t comment on the scene. However, Rose virtually could see the thoughts on Elise´s face and sat up, moving away from Remus.

“Rose, I´m sorry I´m interrupting unannounced. I couldn´t miss the talking about what happened and I wanted to make sure you know you can come to me whenever you need someone to talk to not only when you have your appointment. Though, it seems you´re well cared for.” Elise´s eyes flashed to Remus before she smiled at Rose.

“Thank you,” Rose said, sounding not at all grateful. “I´m not sure I want to talk about it yet. I´ll let you know when I do.”

***

Not long after Elise´s visit, Rose left Remus and Sirius. She´d hidden the whole day there and even dinner had passed already. She couldn´t delay her return to Gryffindor tower any longer, at least not when she wouldn´t want to sleep on the sofa.

 “Oh dear,” said the Fat Lady and grasped her voluminous bosom, “from what one hears you have a horrible taste in men.”

Rose stared at the painting, utterly bewildered.

“Honestly?” she snarled finally and added in a furious hiss the password. However, the Fat Lady was not at all inclined to open yet and went on and on about relationships between teachers and students and how inappropriate it was and anyway, a man like Snape and such a beautiful young woman like Rose, there had to be something shady going on.

At some point Rose stopped her efforts in repeating the password and was all about to go back to Remus and Sirius as the Fat Lady stopped mid-sentence and swung open, revealing Draco peering out of the portrait hole.

“We thought we heard someone yelling,” he explained.

Rose stood in the corridor and was torn. She saw a few of her housemates peering over to her. Maybe she should better return to Remus. A night on the sofa seemed not that bad anymore. Slowly she turned away from the entrance to the common room, but Draco stepped out and took hold of her hand.

“Come, you don´t have to tell anyone anything, but come with me.” He tugged gently on her hand until she followed him.

Dead silence hung over the room and every single student gawped at Rose. She licked nervously over her lips, her body taught and ready to escape.

“Let me. I can´t,” she said and pulled her hand away from Draco, backing away towards the exit. But she came not far. As she turned to leave, she came face to face with Lavender who looked at her with a frown.

“Hey, don´t run away,” she said unexpected gentle and placed a sure hand on Rose´s shoulder, steering her through the room and to a chair in front of the fire. Then she turned towards the common room. “Go to bed,” she said to the assembled students, though her tone gave no room for back talk. In the end everyone except Lavender herself, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Parvati had left. Rose avoided studiously to make eye contact and stared instead down at her hands.

“What happened?” Draco asked after almost ten minutes of tense silence.

Rose swallowed. Her heart started racing in her chest.

“Here,” Lavender said and pressed a bottle in Rose´s hands. Slightly dumfounded Rose blinked at the liquor and then at Lavender who only shrugged. “Nicked it from my dad. Drink. It will help your nerves.”

Without hesitation Rose tilted the bottle and took a generous swig. She coughed. Her eyes watered, but she took another gulp. The alcohol filled her stomach and warmed her somehow pleasantly. The third swig was almost tasty and all of a sudden she felt calmer than in weeks. She gave Lavender the bottle back.

“It was Severus,” she said lowly, ignoring that she shouldn´t talk about him with his first name. “He was the Death Eater who overheard the Prophecy and told Voldemort. He is the reason all of that happened to me.” Her friends gasped in shock, but Rose choked out a hollow laugh.

“Rose?” Lavender asked. “Before you slapped him, you said that you love him.”

Rose drew in a shaky breath. Her face scrunched up while she tried not to cry. “I do,” she said simply.

Lavender looked contemplative into the bottle of cheap Whiskey and then took a swig, handing it afterwards to the others.

“Bloody hell, Rose. You lied all the time.” Lavender muttered but frowned as Rose shook her head.

“There is nothing between me and Snape,” she said firmly. “I developed feelings for him, but he…he doesn’t feel the same. He loved my mom and he still does.” Rose sobbed. “He begged Voldemort to spare her. But only her. He cared a fuck that I was only a baby and that megalomaniac snake-face wanted to kill me. He only wanted my mom for himself.”

“Rose…” Draco said.

“No! He told me. Those are his words. He only begged for my mother´s life. He only returned to Dumbledore so he´d help him. If it hadn´t been for my mother, Snape had never changed sides.”

“Blimey Rose, don’t blab such rubbish!” Draco shouted and jumped to his feet.

“Rubbish? Draco, he was loyal to Voldemort right up to the day Voldemort decided to go after me. Only then Snape changed his mind and only because he feared for the life of his great love!” Rose snapped, standing too.

“But he changed sides and he turned his back on the Dark Lord. And this was long ago. He´s not like that anymore, now he…” Draco stopped himself from saying anything more. He tilted his head slightly to one side, brows drawn down.

Rose stood in front of her friend, tense and trembling. Lavender was the only one who wasn´t watching paralysed and stood up, touching Rose´s shoulder. Rose flinched and then cracked and collapsed into a sobbing heap of limbs.

“I want to hate him, but I can´t because I love him too much,” she whispered as her tears had dried. Lavender handed her wordless the liquor.

***

The eight Gryffindor´s roamed the nightly castle. Giggling, they bumped into each other and loads of corners, walls and one or another suit of armour. With all the ruckus they produced it was a real wonder that they hadn´t been caught until now.

“I miss Blaise…” Ginny whined lowly, clinging to Rose´s arm.

Rose stopped mid-step, sending Ginny stumbling to the floor, and fumbled for her wand. It took six attempts until she produced a Patronus.

“A bat?” Hermione asked with much too shrill voice and Rose turned to glare at her.

“Sorry,” Hermione mumbled. Lavender gazed thoughtful at the ceiling but kept quiet.

Rose looked at the bat and ordered her to go and fetch Blaise. Their small group giggled and whispered and finally Neville sent in the same fashion a message to Luna and Padma.

Fifteen minutes later the students met in the entrance hall. Blaise came with Pansy in tow and looked with raised eyebrow at the gathered group. Though, he grinned as Lavender pushed the second, and sadly last, bottle of Whiskey in his hands.

 “We should go outside,” Neville said, looking out of a window.

A heated debate ensued whether or not they should break out at night. In the end Hermione decided for them all.

“Shush,” she giggled and flicked her wand to open the portal. The great door swung open with a clearly hearable creak. The group of people gazed around and then squeezed quickly outside. Giggling, they sprinted away from the castle and over the grounds.

“Shite,” Rose said thoughtful and looked down at the empty bottle in her hand. Then she giggled. “Accio Firewhiskey.” Everyone stared at her and waited. At first nothing happened, but then they heard glass shatter before a cloud of bottles soared towards them. Rose jumped and ran away, shrieking and laughing and chased by liquor.

“Jeez, who´d thought there´s so much alcohol in this school,” Blaise drawled but looked impressed.

“Fuck!” Draco muttered and pointed to the lights flickering into live behind several windows.

Each of them grabbed one or two bottles and, laughing even more than before, they chased farther away from the castle into the direction of the Forbidden Forest.

Though their little trip was cut short as the portal opened and at least five teachers spilled on the ground, holding their wands high to illuminate the area.

Rose immediately recognised Severus with Remus at his side. Giving a closer look, she saw Sirius behind them. There were others, but at the front was unmistakably Professor McGonagall who hurried ahead with an expression that bode not well.

“What are you doing out of bed? Out on the grounds?” she shouted more than she asked. Her eyes darted to the bottles of liquor. McGonagall´s mouth thinned into a tight line. Neither of the other Professors said a word. They simply followed suit and ushered the giggling, drunk group of students back inside the castle and led them straight to the Headmaster´s office. On their way, Severus positioned himself close to Rose, but at noticing that, she worked her way through the group to its front, walking now next to Pansy with whom she finally linked arms.

Headmaster Dumbledore regarded the students with a long, unreadable gaze. Then finally asked only one thing, “Why?”

“We only wanted to cheer up Rose. I mean it´s really fucked up to love someone who sort of got your parents killed,” Lavender blurted. The four students who hadn´t listened to Rose´s explanation looked bewildered. The rest of the room´s occupants stared in a mix of shock and horror at Lavender.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “Well, tonight you broke not only school rules but also windows and doors and whatever else was in the way as you summoned those bottles.” He gestured to the table where no less than seventeen bottles of Firewhiskey stood lined up. “You will serve detention until next Friday and each one of you loses ten points from their house.”

Surprisingly it was Hermione who stood up at that. “Sir, that isn´t fair. Gryffindor would lose much more points!”

Professor McGonagall gasped, but Dumbledore was quick in his reply. “Plus twenty more points from Gryffindor for contesting my decision,” he concluded unfamiliar frosty.

Hermione paled. It wasn´t usually her who lost points and if at all then never so many at once.

“Professor Flitwick and McGonagall will guide you back to your houses,” Dumbledore said and fixed his eyes on Rose. “You stay.”

Rose shifted from one leg to the other. The alcohol coursed through her blood and at the moment she felt more like throwing up than calmly listen to whatever Dumbledore had to say. She grasped the closest chair as her world tilted suddenly sideways.

Dumbledore sighed. “Severus, would you please fetch Rose a sobering potion?”

“No,” Rose interjected, shaking her head. Though, she regretted it immediately as a wave of nausea churned in her stomach.

“Don´t be silly,” Severus said, creeping into her focus. He looked concerned.

“I won´t take anything from you!” Rose spat and backed away. She saw Severus´ throat work as he swallowed, his expression closed into an unreadable mask.

“Rose, what have you told your friends?” Dumbledore inquired, directing Rose´s attention his way.

“Nothing important. Only about the Prophecy and that it´s me who´s in love…” Rose said slowly, concentrating on the words. She was not sure that they sounded like they should.

“And what about me?” Severus asked tersely.

Rose snorted. “Yeah, what about you?” She arched an eyebrow. “Chill out…I said it´s only me because you still love my mom,” she said and then turned to Dumbledore. “Can I go?”

“Please escort her,” Dumbledore said to no one in particular. Rose saw the men exchange looks and knew already before he said it out loud who would offer to bring her back.

“I´ll do that,” Severus said.

Rose pursed her lips and then met his gaze. Fighting against the effect of the alcohol, she said more firmly than before, “Please don´t. I know you want to talk to me…but I can´t. Not now. I need some time to think things over.”

Severus hand jerked as if he wanted to touch Rose but restrained himself. They gazed at each other. In the end, Severus nodded and Sirius brought Rose back to the common room, holding her back in front of the portrait. “Don´t drink and roam the grounds. It´s dangerous at night.”

Rose gawped. “That´s all?”

“Everything else you have to sort out on your own.” Sirius hugged her tightly against his chest before he kissed her briefly on the head.


	24. Chapter 24

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The following evening at half past eight all 12 rule breakers met in front of the library where the Professors Lupin and Snape already waited.

“In the following week you will report here every evening and take stock of the books. You´ll receive inventory lists and tick off every book you can find in the library. The missing books are to be compared with the file of borrowed books. You will annotate when there are any mismatches. Furthermore you will dust each shelf and arrange the books in alphabetical order. **Without** the use of magic,” Severus said instead of greeting. He tried to catch Rose´s eyes, but she refused to look up at all.

The students groaned but were clever enough not to object.

“Professor Snape and I will be there for any questions which may arise. Besides that you´ll work on your own. There is no reason why you shouldn´t talk, unless you forget to work. In this case we will see to appropriate measures,” Remus added with a sideways glance at Severus who arched an eyebrow but said nothing.

Quickly everyone had a list and was busy working through it. In fact they were so busy that no one spoke even one word and an eerie silence spread through the library only interrupted by the rustling of paper and occasional thump of a book on the shelves.

Rose felt Severus´ gaze on her all the time. When she turned to look at him, he held her gaze. Every time it was she who looked away.

Deciding to stop looking at him, Rose plunged into brooding.

“You can stop for tonight,” Remus´ voice brought her back into the world outside her thoughts. Confused, Rose gazed around.

“They´re all gone already,” Remus explained and pulled a chair from the closest table, sitting down. “How are you?”

Rose shrugged. “Tired and angry. Everyone stares at me. I mean more than they do anyway. I´m not even sure how often I told someone to piss off because everyone dies to know how the hell I could have fallen in love with ‘that greasy git’ and then there are those who think we pulled the best stunt ever with getting drunk and all.” Rose pulled a rather pained face, looking completely done.

Remus pressed his lips together, half supressing a smile, even though it was sympathetic.

“If you like, you have my permission to stay a little longer away from your common room and much beloved housemates.” He grinned. “I could make hot milk with honey for us maybe it will help you calm down a little.”

Rose pondered that offer for a moment then nodded.

Remus took her hand and held it all the way to his quarters. Sirius looked up from the desk in the far corner as they entered. He exchanged a gaze with Remus but kept silent.

After preparing the promised hot milk they settled on the sofa with Rose leaning against Remus´ side. She hadn´t even started drinking as her eyes fell close.

***

On the third evening of detention, which was Monday, Rose had left her friends as soon as they´d been back in the castle from their afternoon Herbology class. She couldn´t stop thinking about Severus and the things he had told her. And she was so tired, but she couldn´t bring herself to put Severus´ shirt back under her pillow. That adding to her anyway chaotic thoughts meant she didn´t sleep well at all. The only time she´d found some rest was on Saturday after the first detention as she´d slept in Remus´ arms.

Her head was so full of thoughts that she paid no attention were she was going and almost got knocked down as she stumbled into a hastily retreating group of students.

“This was my last and only warning, should anyone ever again mention his opinion about last week I´ll get you expelled!” Severus snapped. His expression was livid but changed ever so quickly as he spotted Rose.

The students around them disappeared as fast as they could and Rose was all about to follow them as Severus spoke again, softly this time.

“Rose, wait, please.”

“Leave me alone,” Rose muttered.

“You weren´t in class this morning,” he said.

“You don´t say,” she remarked but regretted her words immediately as she saw Severus looking even more hurt than anyway when he looked at her. She had no idea what to do about him, but she didn´t actually want to add to his pain. Not really, anyway.

“Can´t we talk?” Severus sounded more pleadingly than before, taking a tentative step forwards.

Rose shied back, her defence mode kicking in.

“No. I don´t want to talk to you and I don’t want to see you more than I have to.”

Severus´ expression crumpled, his shoulders slumped forward, but he heeded her answer and left in the other direction. His usual swift walk, however, was slow and his robes merely swung softly from side to side instead of billowing dramatically.

***

Rose looked up as she found herself in front of a door. Unconsciously her steps had brought her to Remus again. Before Rose could decide to knock or to leave, the door opened, revealing Remus with a stack of books in his arms.

“My wards went off. Is something wrong?” Remus asked slightly alarmed at seeing her eyes tear up.

Instead of answering, Rose threw herself without warning against him.

“Is that about Severus?” Remus asked, ignoring the books that lay now strewn on the floor.

Rose nodded against his chest. “It hurts. Why does it hurt so much?”

Remus sighed deeply. “You´re not the only one who´s hurting. Come on in.” He led her into the living room.

Rose stopped. On the sofa sat Severus, holding a glass with a familiar amber liquid and, with his eyes red rimmed, he looked like he´d been crying. Or he hadn´t and it was the fault of the alcohol, who knew. Anyway, she didn´t want to see him yet again.

Remus stopped her attempt of fleeing by holding her back on her arm.

“Rose. Talk with each other.”

Rose glanced at Severus and shook her head. She felt not ready. “I can´t. Not yet.”

“But you have…”

“No, Remus. Leave it be,” Severus said and stood up. He glanced once wearily at Rose before brushing past her and Remus and left.

Rose hung her head and closed her eyes. That was all so messed up.

“Come here,” Remus said softly and opened his arms for her.

Rose leant against him and after a brief moment felt her eyes falling close and her head becoming heavy. She heard Remus chuckle. He pushed her gently to the sofa and sat down, pulling Rose into his arms again. It took not long until Rose dozed off with her head rested comfortably on Remus´ chest.

It felt like a second later as Remus shook her softly. “It´s time.”

Groggily Rose looked up. Remus gazed down at her with a soft yet strangely intense expression. Rose shifted a little away and gazed back.

“Come on. It won´t do if we´re late,” Remus said, standing up. His hands smoothed his clothes repeatedly before he turned to leave.

Together they walked to the library, not talking. Every now and then Rose felt as if Remus would look at her, but every time she glanced over, his eyes were trained stubbornly ahead. As they reached their destination, only the other students were there, waiting for their task lists. Remus frowned but said nothing about it.

Severus didn´t show up this evening at all. Rose, despite herself, worried about him. Was he all right? He hadn´t looked well, more like she felt herself: wretched and miserable.

Did she wrong him with avoiding to talk to him?

At almost two in the morning, she stopped tossing around in bed and stood up. She roamed the empty corridors, landing yet again in front of Remus´ door. She hesitated, but then knocked anyway.

She waited a moment that seemed to stretch indefinitely but was in truth only ten seconds.

She knocked again and already had taken a few steps back, ready to leave, as the door opened and Sirius peered out.

“Rose?” he rasped and rubbed over his eyes.

Rose prodded her toe against the floor, mumbling, “I can´t sleep and I thought…”

“Let her in already,” Remus said as he appeared in the door as well, securing the belt of his dressing gown, face tired but alert.

Sirius shrugged and turned away. “I´m in bed.”

Rose peered sheepishly up from under her eyelashes, but Remus seemed neither angry nor disgruntled. He smiled softly and took Rose´s hand, pulling her towards the sofa where he tucked her then into his arms.

“What keeps you from sleeping?” he asked, shifting into a more comfortable position.

“I can´t stop thinking about Severus.” Rose yawned widely.

“Yeah, but you have to sleep.” Remus peered at her then added, “You can stay here. Just close your eyes. I´ll stay with you until you´re asleep.”

Rose hummed sleepily, eyes falling shut already. She turned her face into Remus´ dressing gown. A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth and then she went slack.

Remus stroked her back and sighed.

***

In the following two days Rose´s evenings went according to that Monday. After detention she returned with her classmates to their common room and went to bed only to toss and turn around and eventually stand up, going to Remus. Curling into his embrace was like a sleeping spell and it took only moments before she was fast asleep.

Rose sighed as she thought about it. Everything seemed much easier with Remus´ arms around her and his reassuring words, when only his warmth alone made her drowsier than any sleeping potion could do. But there was the problem. Remus had dismissed Elise´s insinuations, but Rose started doubting again. It couldn´t be normal what happened between herself and Remus, could it? Or did she again read too much into it only because the rumours hadn´t lessened yet or because even Hermione shot her suspicious glances every morning when she returned to their dormitory for a shower and fresh clothes?

With a brusque movement, Rose pulled the next book from the shelf in front of her and berated herself for her thoughts as the more nagging topic of her current life pulled at her attention.

Severus stared at her again and it was really unnerving. She tried to concentrate on her task but found it barely manageable anymore. After ten minutes she gritted her teeth and turned, her eyes blazing at Severus who stood only two metres away where it had been almost seven at the beginning of the detention. Her temper got worse with each evening being forced to be near him when all she wanted was stay away and be able to really think about everything without having him lurking somewhere close, painfully obvious trying to make her talk to him.

However, before she could do more than take a breath, Remus placed his hand on her lower back and pushed her gently but firmly into another aisle and away from Severus.

“Don´t start a fight,” he whispered insistently and left Rose to speak to Severus.

Rose peeked through a gap between the books and saw Severus´ shoulders slump before he turned and sat down at Madam Pince´s desk, bending over the paperwork he had brought.

Hours later, Rose turned and tossed in her bed again, unable to find any remotely comfortable position to stay in.

“Rose!” Lavender snapped thirteen minutes after one. “If you can´t lay still stand up and leave or I´ll hex you!” Her indignant shout abated into grousing mumbling and stopped eventually completely.

Rose sat up and hugged her legs. It really wasn´t that she wasn´t tired, she just couldn´t calm her thoughts. Why was it so hard to fall asleep when she was in her bed and so easy when she was with Remus? Blimey, she was of age it could be expected that she was able to find some sleep on her own, couldn´t it?

She peered out of the window, only seeing a dark blur without her glasses. Her eyes felt itchy and as if someone had thrown dust into them. She rubbed at them, only making it worse. She lay back down, wriggling a little. What should she do about Severus? Was it even possible to be with him again and not think about what he had done? Should she explore her feelings more closely, regarding Remus?

Rose huffed in frustration. There, she thought again about Remus. Hadn´t she decided to not think this way?

Elise and her stupid questions about things Rose had never wasted any thought on before. What had been between her and Remus was just fine until Elise had questioned it.

Rose huffed again, rolling onto her stomach.

No. Elise wasn´t alone with it. Lavender had started those new rumours and Severus had been suspicious too, the sole reason for his jealousy. And even Hermione had expressed that it looked like more between Rose and Remus.

Rose didn´t notice that she fidgeted again until Lavender stood at her bedside, looking murderous. “Potter!” Lavender pointed her wand at Rose. “Get out of here. Get out! Get out! Get out!”

Rose scrambled without arguing to her feet, grabbed a pullover and hurried out of Lavender´s line of fire.

The common room was cold, dark and barely welcoming. Rose shivered. Her mind was in knots as was her stomach and she felt not only tired but miserable. She didn´t like the path her thoughts had taken at all. It was hard enough to think about a solution for the whole Severus mess without having to wonder about her feelings for Remus.

Rose slumped into the closest chair and pulled her pullover over her bend legs, trying to stay warm. She knew exactly what would help her now, but she couldn´t bring herself to give in.

At four in the morning, Rose eventually gave up anyway, desperate for a moment where her thoughts calmed enough so she could sleep, and sneaked through cold corridors to Remus. She knocked and prepared for a longer wait, but to her surprise the door opened within seconds.

Sirius stood in front of her, still completely dressed and obviously in the middle of grading. He had red ink smeared over his cheek and looked tired. And annoyed.

Rose´s heart sank. “I´m sorry…I…”

“Can´t sleep again?” Sirius asked gruffly but not unfriendly and beckoned Rose inside. “Take the sofa if you like, I´m not finished but have to.” He shot a disdainful gaze at the desk, adding to Rose, “Remus only went to bed an hour ago. I think we should let him sleep.”

Rose nodded, feeling guilty for having come here anyway and was disappointed about only finding Sirius awake.

Sirius watched her for a moment and how she stood a little lost and undecided between door and sofa. “Are you all right?”

Rose shook her head, snivelling. There was so much not all right at the moment, but it was for sure that Sirius would freak out if she told him about her new confusion regarding Remus, so she kept quiet.

Sirius crunched his teeth audibly. “I´d love to castrate Snape for hurting you.”

Rose´s lips twitched, briefly, but she didn´t quite manage a smile. “What would you do in my place?” she asked, taking the offered topic for the more urgent problem.

“I´d have his balls and leave him,” Sirius said immediately, but just as quickly added, “But I´m not you. You have to find your own way and what to do.”

Rose thought about that, nodding slowly. “I´m not sure I could. Leave him, I mean. It feels not right. But then, nothing feels right at the moment.” She settled finally on the sofa, but felt not tired anymore, at least not enough to go to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”  
> ― Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

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Remus found Rose and Sirius the next morning in his office. Sirius slept on his folded arm, still sitting at the desk. Rose lay curled up in the tiniest possible ball on the sofa.

He watched them for some time until Rose started stirring. He then walked over and cautiously touched her knee. Despite the fire she was cold.

Rose opened her eyes, smiling softly as she recognised him.

Remus put one finger over his mouth, nodding toward Sirius who´d started snoring soundly.

Rose grinned and quietly followed Remus next door into the living room.

“When did you come?” Remus asked, preparing tea for them.

“Late…or early, depends on your point of view.” Rose shrugged and accepted the tea with a frown.

“Uh oh, frowning so early in the morning never means anything good,” Remus said teasingly but sobered immediately as Rose looked at him even unhappier than before.

“It´s about us.”

“You mean like the ‘us’ in the student´s gab?” Remus sat down next to Rose, pulling a blanket over her bare legs.

“Yes…I feel so much better when I´m with you that I´m sometimes not sure if Elise isn´t right after all.” Rose gazed down into her tea. Her insides felt as if snakes wriggled through her.

“Darling…” Remus paused, causing Rose to look up. He seemed to weigh his words cautiously. “I´m far from trying to persuade you into believing that you feel nothing for me if you do after all, but truth be told, I think you´re just confused because of Severus.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Rose admitted slowly and pursed her lips.

“Don´t think your brain into knots. It will come out all right in the end.” Remus smiled. He emptied his tea and stood up, gazing questioningly at Rose´s untouched cup.

“How can it come out all right when I have no idea what to do about Severus?” Rose asked lowly, almost whispering.

Remus placed his mug on the coffee table and sat down again. He took Rose´s cup, putting it aside as well, and then her hands in his. “Forgive him.”

“I don´t know if I can…” Rose pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms around her legs.

“You forgave him being a Death Eater, you forgave him hurting you, you even forgave him drugging you. So tell my why do you think you can´t forgive him that he made another mistake?” Remus inclined his head inquiringly.

“He killed my parents.” Rose almost chocked on this four little words as tears constricted her throat.

“He hasn´t come to your home and wielded the wand nor has he uttered the curse that killed them,” Remus said lowly. He reached out to Rose and took her hand again, kissing the back of it. “He regrets nothing more than having told Voldemort about the Prophecy and he did everything in his power to make amends for this miscalculation of the situation. You asked what you should do and I told you what I think you should do. Go and talk to him. Try to forgive him. Stand at his side when he has to face the Wizengamot.” Remus released Rose´s hand and stood up. “You should go now. I´m always here for you and if you need me, you can come to me at any time. But now it´s time for breakfast and you have to change first.” Remus smiled and went ahead of Rose to the door. Before opening it, he embraced her tightly.

***

“Yes, I know I´m late and yes, I know I haven´t slept in my bed. Again. No I´m all right, mostly at least and no I don´t want to talk about Severus, Remus or whatever man features any rumours with me. Thank you for your concern. Ron, please give me that toast, will you? And the egg. Thank you ever so much. I´ll see you in a minute.” Rose drew a deep breath after her monologue. She folded Ron´s, thankfully already buttered, toast and hurried away with her meagre breakfast before her friends could possibly regain their wits to hold her back.

During Transfiguration they hadn´t enough time to talk about anything not lesson related and as the bell rang, Rose was so quickly gone again that no one got a chance to breach the current topic of her and Severus.

But then it was time for the Friday´s Potions lesson and Rose dreaded those two hours, caged into the dim classroom and with too much proximity to Severus.

“Rose, jeez, stop running from us!” Draco caught her and stepped in front of her to prevent any attempt of escape from her.

“I´m not running from you. I´m just tired of explaining myself. And I don´t want to go in there,” she said, looking at the door.

“You can´t avoid him endlessly,” Hermione said.

“Or is it after all true that you´re with Professor Lupin now?” Pansy asked from behind, startling Rose.

“I´m not with Remus. I…I have just no idea how I can…how I can forget what **he** told me.” She glanced at the door which opened suddenly, revealing Severus who peered into the corridor. He looked as if he had heard the conversation, his gaze was fixed on Rose, however.

Rose looked back. Her stomach clenched. Gods, how much she missed this man. But as much as she wanted him to hold her and assure her they could get past this, she couldn´t actually imagine to be this close to him ever again.

And still Remus´ words rang in her head.

In the corridor was dead silence, neither of the students dared to move or even breath too loud.

Severus, finally acknowledging his students, straightened. “Get inside,” he said with a deep sigh and stepped aside.

Rose stayed where she was and finally turned away, walking down the corridor and away from Severus.

***

Rose wandered already for hours through the corridors. It was long past nightfall. Her brain rushed from thought to thought, unable to pick one and think it to its end while her feet dragged her along. Only as she started climbing a narrow staircase, Rose acknowledged at last where she was. She walked all the way up.

Cold wind pulled on her hair and clothes as soon as she stepped out from the safety of the walls and onto the platform of the Astronomy tower. Though after a first glance around she noticed that she wasn´t alone.

Ahead stood a dark figure, black cloak billowing and flapping in the wind.

Rose swallowed as she saw his face.

Severus had cried, unmistakably this time, the traces of tears still clinging to his eyelashes.

“Rose,” he croaked, not moving.

“Severus,” Rose answered lowly. She shivered as a new gust of cold wind tugged at her. “I shouldn´t be here...” She turned but only reached the first step as fingers closed loosely around her arm.

“Please, don´t go.”

Rose looked over her shoulder. Her heart ached as she saw Severus´ pleading, hurt expression. She knew she had to make a decision, they couldn´t go on like they did, neither knowing if they were still together or if everything was over. Complete suspense.

She laid her hand on his, feeling the coldness of his skin.

“Please let me think again.” Gently she opened his grip, leaving him standing in the cold wind on the highest tower of the castle.

***

Rose had spent her night in a nook not far from the Astronomy tower. She´d slept a little, but most of the time she´d sat there, thinking. Severus had walked past her in the early morning, rousing her from an unpleasant dream. She´d watched him drag his feet over the floor, clearly dolefully and depressed. She´d almost reached out for him but then it didn´t feel like the right moment to tell him about her thoughts.

Rose stood up and stretched her stiff muscles. Given the grey light, it was early but not too early for breakfast. Something hot would be nice, a coffee maybe. She shuffled downstairs and started slightly as she entered the Great Hall and found it full of students. Rose glanced around and quickly walked over to her friends.

“Jeez, where have you been?” Hermione regarded her critically.

“Astronomy tower. What time is it?”

As it turned out breakfast hadn’t just begun but was almost over again. The thick mist outside seemed to have fooled her properly. Quickly Rose filled a cup with coffee and sipped it carefully.

“And there he is again,” Ron mumbled around his roll and glanced at the entrance doors. Rose turned and saw how Severus looked searchingly over the Gryffindor table. As he saw her he walked over.

“What do you mean with again?” Rose asked.

“He came looking for you for the past two hours,” Draco answered instead of Ron whose mouth was too full to say anything.

Rose looked over her shoulder just as Severus reached her.

 “Rose, let me talk to you. Please?”

Several heads whipped around.

Rose stared at him. “Why can´t you wait until I come to you?” She´d feel better if she could choose location and time for their talk.

Severus felt the stares from all over the hall and he knew without looking that Dumbledore´s gaze pierced his back. It went quieter too as everyone tried to listen.

He bent down to Rose, whispering in her ear. “I know that you waited much longer until I finally spoke with you, but I can´t stand this suspense. Please speak with me.”

“Severus…” Rose started but then stopped. She looked for a moment blankly in front of her before glancing at the Head Table. Remus gave her a pointed look and jerked his head towards Severus. Rose sighed. “Ok. Meet me in twenty minutes.” She hesitated for a second then added, “In the entrance hall.” She´d decide then where they would go from there.

***

The still persisting wind had cleared the mist and the sun shone brightly through a gap between clouds. Severus and Rose walked in complete silence, ambling closer and closer to the Forbidden Forest. Rose glanced back over her shoulder. There was a small crowd of students following them. They tried to appear casually uninterested, though. Rose rolled her eyes and huffed as she recognised Lavender. After long minutes of silent walking, Rose stopped.

“You wanted to talk.”

Severus peered down at her. A small gust of wind blew through his hair and swept it in his face. Rose couldn´t help herself and smiled. She lifted her hand and casually brushed the hair out of Severus´ eyes. Though instead of pulling away again, she let her hand linger and stroked softly over his cheek.

“Why is it never easy for us?” she asked, her hand dropping to his chest. She noticed out of the corner of her eyes the other students drew closer, eager not to miss anything. 

Severus covered her hand with his, closing the distance between them further.

“Where do we stand?” he whispered.

“I´m not sure.” She pulled her hand from his chest, throwing it in an exasperated gesture in the air. “I have thought endlessly about everything you said and did and about my feelings.” 

Severus swallowed. Waited. Croaked, “Have I destroyed what we had?”

Rose inhaled deeply. She held her breath for a moment and then let it out in one long sigh.

“Two days ago I might´ve said yes…But today? No.” She shook her head. Suddenly she groused, “Oh for fuck´s sake. It´s not as if I suddenly don´t love you anymore. I do love you. But I can´t simply forget what you told me and it hurts. It hurts to know that one single decision changed everything, for both of us. I can´t stop thinking that if only someone had held you back or if you never had been in the pub at all…nothing of that would have happened. Voldemort would never have known about that bloody prophecy.” Rose shook her head again and stepped away from Severus. Leaning back against a tree, she looked up into the thin canopy of leaves which still clung stubbornly to the twigs above. A few lost their battle and sailed with the wind, spiralling through the air before joining their brothers and sisters on the ground.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

Severus waited until Rose looked back at him. They stood only three steps apart, but she seemed unreachable far away. Her gaze was open, though. She waited seemingly as much as he waited.

“What must I do to fix this? Just tell me.”

“You can´t,” Rose said and Severus closed his eyes in defeat. He should have known that she wouldn´t be able to forgive him.

“I believe you already made enough amends,” Rose added. She had thought her brain into knots the last night, taking everything into consideration, especially what Remus had said to her lately and Dumbledore before him. But then it had been so simple. As she stopped thinking about everything what remained was her love for Severus and the knowledge that she wanted to be with him.

Severus' eyes snapped open. Rose looked pensive.

“Dumbledore was right. I knew you have a past. However, I accepted it implicitly as a part of you and never asked about it. It was the past and what we had was now. I fell in love with the man you are now not the one who chose to be a Death Eater. You payed for your mistakes and I believe, you´re as much a loser in this as I am.”

Severus was like frozen as he listened to Rose. His heart raced in his chest in expectation of her decision.

“I love you and I don´t want to leave you.”

“You won´t leave me?” Severus asked timidly but hopeful.

“Do you want me to?”

Instead of an answer, Severus pulled Rose away from the tree and into his arms. In the first seconds, Rose stiffened, but then she felt Severus´ warmth, the familiarity of his body and how effortless she fit into his arms. His scent engulfed her and she closed her eyes, leaning into his embrace. She inhaled deeply, snuggling even closer into Severus´ arms, though she looked surprised up as Severus growled.

“Thirty points from each house,” he grumbled and glowered at the different groups of students, loitering in some distance, far enough to be out of reach for direct eavesdropping but still close enough that a little spell would permit them to listen nonetheless.

“You haven´t…” Rose said in disbelieve but laughed.

“And how I have.” Severus looked almost smug.

Rose laughed louder and then, gazing calculatingly around, stretched up and kissed Severus´ cheek. However, he hindered her to step away and returned the favour. His kiss, though, landed considerably closer to her mouth, already brushing the very seam of her lips.


	26. Chapter 26

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Of course the gossip started anew, with several students swearing they had watched Rose and Professor Snape in a passionate kiss. Rose was confronted with it the moment she climbed through the portrait hole.

“You goddamned liars!” Lavender shrieked and the common room plunged into silence. “Don´t even dare to deny it! You **are** together. Right? RIGHT?” 

Rose would love nothing more than to stop denying it, but was unsure if confirming it was the right thing to do either. In the end she settled with an unconvincing, “It´s none of your business, Lavender.” But then added with a little bit of glee, “And you should watch out what you say, he already took points from every house for eavesdropping. I´m quite sure he has no objections to take some more.” Rose turned. At the moment it seemed better to leave and hope Lavender would calm down until she came back.

But like always Rose had underestimated Lavender´s stubbornness. She was like a niffler, once caught her prize she wouldn´t let go of it again.

And with Lavender´s persisting questions every day, no one calmed down. Quite the opposite. Rose had never felt so watched and that was an achievement given who she was.

A week after Rose had had her clarifying conversation with Severus, they both were at the end of their patience. It was virtually impossible to find someone who wasn´t gossiping or pointing at Rose or Severus. While Rose was constantly annoyed, Severus took points without end, but without the expected result either. The hourglasses were almost empty on this Friday morning and Severus´ mood quite obvious abysmal.

“I don’t know,” Rose said, gazing at Severus. “Maybe you should stop taking points. No one cares and besides, there are only fifty left. Altogether.” Rose glanced at the hourglasses and the few lonely gemstones. Severus followed her gaze and scowled. Dumbledore had also suggested to stop taking points and he´d had the audacity to grin while saying so.

“Rose,” Severus said haltingly and took her hand. “We should put an end to this.”

Rose lifted her eyebrows questioningly.

“Let´s tell them,” Severus suggested cautiously.

Rose´s eyes grew wider. “Really?”

“If you want to. I mean, we´re still getting over our fight and…”

Rose stopped him with placing a finger over his mouth, nodding. She smiled and then giggled as Severus scooped her into his arms, her feet dangling above the floor.

Two Ravenclaw girls walked past them and looked back over their shoulders.

"By all means, go ahead and tell everyone," Severus called and snorted as the girls hurried into the Great Hall, looking downright terrified.

"Do you really want to do that?" Rose asked, still in Severus' arms.

"Yes. Let's talk to Albus about it." He placed her back to the floor and together they entered the Great Hall. Feverish whispers wafted towards them. Severus rolled his eyes.

"See you later," Rose said brightly and turned away just as the morning post rushed into the hall, drowning the whispers with the noise of fluttering wings and shrieking owls.

"Wait." Without warning, Severus took her hand and pulled her back. Her momentum spun her directly into his arms and before Rose could process what was happening, Severus had his arms around her waist and held her.

“Sorry,” he whispered but with a grin. “Meet me for lunch, I don´t want to wait the whole day to go to Dumbledore.”

Rose laughed. “Oi, so impatient suddenly.”

“Indeed,” Severus said and straightened with haughtily raised eyebrow. Rose laughed even more but made her way over to her friends.

“He´s such a dork sometimes,” she said and plunged onto a chair next to Hermione. “What?” she added as she saw the horrified expressions of her friends.

Wordless Hermione handed her the Daily Prophet over.

** Finally justice? **

Rose blanched and scanned the article.

_Amidst greatest effort…obtain knowledge…kept under lock and key…Severus Snape…Death Eater…finally trial…end of the year…Responsible for death of Lily and James Potter…Rose Potter orphaned…All those years at Hogwarts…How could Dumbledore trust such a man?...hopefully sentenced with appropriate time in Azkaban…to free our society from scum like Severus Snape and other Death Eaters._

_By Rita Skeeter_

Rose´s blood rushed so loud through her ears that she, at first, couldn´t hear the swelling noise in the Great Hall. What was this woman thinking? And how the hell could she know about her parents? Rose´s hands crumpled the newspaper until someone prised her fingers open.

“Rose,” Hermione said and watched her worried.

Rose took a deep breath and looked over at the Head Table. Severus spoke intently with Dumbledore who all the while gazed with narrowed eyes over the assembled students. The noise grew louder with each passing minute. Everywhere students huddled together. To say that Rose was angry was quite an understatement and finally she had enough. She jumped up and climbed on her chair the same moment Dumbledore seemed to decide he should enforce discipline. Rose, however, was faster.

“What the fuck do you know?” she yelled. Everyone gazed at her, surprised, frowning or curious. “Which right do you have to be angry with him? Or to insult him? Goddamn it you all! No one is flawless! Everyone makes mistakes. Some are bigger than others. And some cost people’s lives. If anyone is allowed to be mad with him it is **me**! And believe me, I **was** mad with him. But then I understood something. What he did changed everything but not only for me. It changed him as well. And since then he was never again on Voldemort´s side. Something this sensationalistic woman **didn´t** mention! Severus Snape is the reason I am still alive. He risked his life for our course time and again.” Rose´s voice trembled and she swallowed heavily. All eyes without exception where glued to her. “He´s the bravest, the best man I have ever met.” Her eyes briefly connected with Severus´ who stared at her in open wonder. She glared again around her fellow students. “But you stupid sheep  only believe what the Prophet tells you without even questioning if this is the whole truth or just another sensationalised article with cropped information from a bitterly, old bitch!”

Shocked silence hung over the room until a chair screeched over the stone floor. Rose looked at the Head Table and saw Severus hurrying towards her. His whole expression was so open and vulnerable, he looked so deeply moved that Rose held her breath, unsure what was about to come.

Everyone watched Severus approach, everyone with equally confused or cautious faces.

But Severus ignored the students around him and simply snatched Rose from her chair and wrapped her into his arms.

“Darling…” he said, his deep voice carrying through the hall.

He smiled and then kissed her.

If possible the silence grew even heavier, almost as if someone had cast a silencing charm. No one moved as they all witnessed the confirmation of the persisting rumours.

“Goddamn it, I knew I was right,” Lavender groused but with not as much fervour as anyone would´ve suspected, least of all Rose who peered almost sheepishly over Severus´ shoulder.

Severus placed Rose gently back on the chair and turned to Lavender. He considered her with a long, pensive look before simply saying, “Yes, Miss Brown. You were right. But it was never our wish or your task to shout it from the rooftops.”

“So you are really together?” Seamus called from the farthest point of the table, wearing a horrified expression.

Severus inhaled and pursed his lips. Rose waited how he would react, gazing at him cautiously and ready to drag him away if he should be mean.

“Indeed. And it is still nothing of your concern,” he said tersely and looked at Rose, brows furrowed unhappily.

“That was not exactly like you´ve planned this to happen, was it?” Rose chuckled.

And Severus, remembering his own words back at Grimmauld Place after the Order had found out, slung his arms once again around Rose´s waist.

“No.” He grinned and kissed her for the second time in front of the whole school. Though, this time it was Dumbledore who interrupted them as he stood suddenly out of nowhere behind Severus.

“I´m happy for you. But I´m not sure this was the wisest decision. Please let us talk.” He strode past them and left Severus and Rose to follow. They exchanged an uneasy glance while hurrying after the astonishing quick old man.

***

“I´m afraid you couldn´t have chosen a more inconvenient moment to declare your love publicly,” Dumbledore said the second the door to his office was shut. “Kingsley has held every information about the trial back. I don´t know how Miss Skeeter could obtain the information and in addition the knowledge about your involvement with the Prophecy.” Dumbledore sank down into his chair and steepled his fingers on his desk. “Anyway, it´s no use crying over spilled milk, is it?”

“Who from the people who know could have talked?” Severus asked. His trademark scowl had replaced the content expression from only a few minutes ago.

“I can´t say. Too many people already knew about you. I can´t say that I trust every one of those implicitly.”

The men fell silent, brooding. Rose gazed from one to the other. The silence expanded to three minutes until Rose couldn´t hold back anymore.

“What does that mean for us now?”

“For the moment nothing. If at all you can even relax because you don´t have to hide anymore,” Dumbledore said and his gentle smile slipped back in place.

“Hmmm, so it would be all right for me to spend my nights with Severus?” Rose asked full of hope and grinned at Severus.

“I know of nothing that would speak against it.” Dumbledore´s eyes twinkled.

“Oh, but I should’ve known the whole issue would have a twist,” Severus sighed in mock-exasperation.

“I won´t interfere in your arrangements as long as it won´t interfere with your obligations concerning classes.” Dumbledore´s eyes flashed mischievously and Rose couldn´t help but blush. She was sure the Headmaster knew too much of the things she preferred him not to know. “And talking of obligations I believe you have to be somewhere else at the moment.” With that and a last twinkling smile, Dumbledore shooed them away.

***

Rose had no good feeling as she left the Transfiguration class and spotted Lavender right outside the room, leaning with crossed arms at the wall.

Everyone had looked at Rose as she came halfway through the lesson and sat down with pink cheeks. She had known Lavender would want to speak with her, but at the moment Rose felt not really like explaining herself.

“Rose,” Lavender said with a broad, false smile, showing her teeth.

“Lavender, please you must understand…”

“Of course,” Lavender cut in, her smile fading. “I somehow understand you couldn´t confirm the rumours. But what bothers me is…we are friends, Rose. At least I thought we are. It hurts that you thought you couldn´t trust me enough.”

Actually Rose had expected Lavender would shout and make a scene but this quiet statement was somehow unsettling and muted Rose completely. She only blinked a few times helplessly.

“I hope you´re happy.” Lavender turned around and linked her arm with Parvati.

“Lavender. Wait.” Rose walked after the other girl. “I´m sorry. But it was so hard. No one could know that it was true. I wanted to tell you, more than once. Even more so as you started this rubbish about me and Remus.”

“But you didn´t.”

“No I didn´t. But it was never about not trusting you, only about protecting Severus.”

“Protecting Snape?” Lavender narrowed her eyes.

“The Board of Governors would´ve sacked him for being with me. I wasn´t 17 yet as we came together. And now there is this other trial and it could make everything so much worse.”

“Oh…” Lavender´s gaze grew distant. As she focused on Rose again she looked thoughtful. “They wouldn´t let the opportunity pass to hold that against him too.” Lavender nodded as if confirming her own words then she chuckled. “You´re really strange and with a horrible taste in men,” she said and hugged Rose out of the blue.

“That´s what the Fat Lady said too,” Rose snuffled.

“Well, must be true then. Come one. You need chocolate that will cheer you up,” Lavender said with a grin and dragged Rose along.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Rose asked confused.

Lavender stopped suddenly, almost sending Rose to the floor. “You know,” she said, “I´m rather sure I´d have done the same for Steven. Maybe next time you remember that you can trust me.” Lavender shrugged.

“Steven?” Rose asked.

“Oh…he´s my boyfriend.” Lavender grinned and then hurried ahead again.


	27. Chapter 27

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

“We should do this more often in the future,” Rose said and placed the breakfast tray on the floor.

“Which part?” Severus asked and peered over the edge of the newspaper he had just opened.

“Both…or all three…”

“Three?” Severus frowned, counting on his finger, “Sex, breakfast in bed and…yeah. No. It´s only two.” He leant back against the headboard, watching how Rose pushed the blanket back and crawled on his lap.

“Three.” She emphasized, grinning. “Put that silly newspaper away and kiss me.” Rose brushed her lips against Severus´ and tried to pluck the paper from his grip. He kissed her but didn´t release the newspaper.

“I can´t. No yet. Give me a moment. I´m an old man…” he joked but pushed Rose gently away.

With a grumpy huff, Rose sat back next to Severus and slurped sulkily her tea. Severus regarded her with a cocked eyebrow but didn´t grant her the satisfaction of commenting her drinking noises, instead he opened the Daily Prophet, intent to ignore Rose, but cursed immediately.

“What?”

“Listen: Only two days ago we reported about the imminent trial of the known Death Eater Severus Snape. But new information reached us now. According to an anonymous source, Snape started an illicit relationship with our darling girl and young heroine Rose Potter. Not only is the man still her teacher, but the affair also started at a time as Rose was still underage. I ask myself now, would a beautiful, young woman like Rose really choose a man like Snape? Isn´t it more likely that she was forced or skilfully seduced? For me not even the use of the Imperius Curse seems too farfetched, given Snape´s past.” Severus stopped to take a breath, a vein at his temple throbbed dangerously. “This goddamned woman!” he shouted, flinging the newspaper away.

Rose shifted to comfort him but was interrupted as it knocked harshly at the bedroom door.

“Severus!” Dumbledore called urgently.

Quickly Rose and Severus slid in some clothes and went to meet the Headmaster who was not alone. Kingsley Shacklebolt stood behind him, wearing a grave expression.

“You read the article?” Dumbledore asked.

“Of course. Who the hell is her source?” Severus said through gritted teeth.

“We don´t know. But whoever it is has informed the Wizengamot as well and has officially filed a complaint of abuse of a minor under your responsibility,” Kingsley said and handed an official looking letter to Severus. “They added sex offence to your charge.”

“But that´s ridiculous!” Rose gazed from one man to the other, waiting for confirmation which refused to come. Everyone shook gravely their head.

“It isn´t. This anonymous person must have sufficient proof otherwise the new charge wouldn´t have been made.” Kingsley sighed. “It is really unfortunate, but we can´t do much more than wait and hope the best. I´m sorry to spoil your Sunday.” He turned with Dumbledore to leave.

“Kingsley.” Severus gazed up from the letter. “They antedated the trial but appointed no new date. I shall be ready for departure at any time.” He arched one eyebrow. “Honestly?”

“I can´t say anything to that. I´m sorry. But I will ask and call you as soon as I know anything.”

“That´s not fair,” Rose said after the two men had left and turned to Severus. “I´ll testify and tell them how it all happened. They can´t punish you for loving someone. Jeez! For what am I Rose Potter if I can´t change their opinion?”

“You won´t achieve anything. All those exalted Ministry officials want me locked up ever since Albus defended me and stopped them the last time to start a hearing. No one will believe I´m innocent of anything. Don´t you understand? They will use any whatsoever farfetched proof to send me to Azkaban and I will not ever come back when they reached their goal.” Severus turned abruptly away.

“I won´t let them reach this silly goal. Do you hear me? I will do anything, to whatever cost to make them see how wrong they are!” Rose stepped in front of Severus and looked over the edge of her glasses up at him.

But Severus, instead of agreeing, pushed Rose away, forcefully so. She stumbled backwards and against one of the armchairs.

“Go.”

Rose lifted her chin defiantly, her eyes narrowed into slits. “What do you think you´re doing?”

“I told you to go!” Severus shouted and threw the first thing he could grab from his desk towards Rose.

The ink well missed her head by a good metre and burst at the wall, sprinkling everything in reach with red ink.

“You can´t simply send me away! That concerns me as much as you!”

Severus took another object, a heavy, leather-bound tome, and threw it across the room. It landed in the fire and immediately went up in flames. Smoke billowed through the room.

But Severus had obviously only started. He strode with long steps to the nearest shelf and threw books out of it. Book after book flew through the room, whole or in pieces, ripped apart and reduced to only loose pages. After the books, Severus turned to the cabinet with glasses and bottles of liquor. Every single piece in it shared the same fate as his beloved books as the glass shattered on the floor.

Severus raged and shouted incoherent snippets of sentences until he was exhausted and hoarse, but even then he toppled his desk over. Papers flew everywhere and mingled with the other chaos.

Rose stood aside and watched in shocked immobility how Severus tore his study apart. A few times she tried to hush him, but every time something flew in her direction or he became only more furious. The only thing she could think about was that he hopefully would stop before throwing his potions and ingredients around.

But then, after kicking the desktop a while, Severus turned abruptly and slammed the bedroom door shut behind him.

Cautiously Rose followed him and tapped softly against the door.

No answer.

Rose tried the handle, but the door was locked. She knocked again, but the only answer was silence.

Unsure what to do, she sat down next to the doorframe and waited.

After almost one hour of waiting and repetitive knocking, she heard the creaking of the bedsprings.

“Severus?”

“Go away!” Severus´ voice came from directly behind the door and the soft thud could be his head as he bumped it against the wood.

Rose leant her forehead against the door, placing her hand next to her face and imagining Severus on the other side doing the same. “Please, come out. I´m not your enemy in this.” She really hoped he would at least unlock the door. But he did neither that nor said anything else.

Rose waited a moment longer but finally gave up.

Her gaze roamed over the chaos in the study. Her first impulse was to tidy up and repair what she could, but on second thought she decided against it. Severus had destroyed his room all by himself and now he hid like a sulking, little boy in his bedroom and didn´t want to talk to her. Should he deal with it by himself.

With a last huff, Rose hurried out of the room and towards the common room.

***

Rose neither heard nor saw anything from Severus the remaining Sunday and, how convenient, the Monday Potions lesson got cancelled. Her lack of understanding for his behaviour turned slowly into pouting irritation and concluded in her not going down to him for her Wednesday extra lesson.

By the end of the week Rose was veritably angry with Severus and let off steam on Remus.

“I swear,” she groused after having ranted for already fifteen minutes non-stop, “if his class is cancelled tomorrow too I´ll shred his doors and pull him on his ridiculous robes out of his rooms.”

Remus knew better than to argue her idea and only nodded mildly, making a second cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

For everyone´s luck the class took place as usual.

All students sat already in their seats as Severus strode into the room with banging door, long strides and swooshing robes. His scowl seemed to be ingrained in his face and his lips were pressed tight until he had to open them for talking.

“Today you´ll go for research into the library” His voice had his usual snide and he pointed his wand once with a sharp flick at the blackboard. “This is your topic. At the end you turn in your notes. You may go.” He made a dismissive gesture and turned towards the storage room.

Her classmates shuffled towards the door, but Rose followed Severus next door.

“Is this your new plan? Ignoring me? You certainly remember that it wasn´t me who said such rubbish and accused you publicly of…” The rest of her sentence died unsaid in her throat as Severus pressed his mouth hard against hers. His hands roamed over her body, tugging restlessly on her robes until he found a way under it and reached bare skin. In one deft motion, he opened her bra and pushed it up to cup her breasts but abandoned them quickly and stroked down her sides. Before Rose really knew what happened, Severus had opened her trousers too and one hand snaked inside her knickers. He slid between her legs and dipped one finger inside her, coated it with her own fluids and stroked her with only the slightest pressure. Rose pressed against Severus´ hand and moaned. Her head swirled with the sudden onslaught of emotions and even more so as Severus suddenly knelt in front of her and pushed her trousers down. All Rose could do was getting hold on his shoulder and bury one hand in his hair as he replaced his finger with his mouth and sucked.

“Gods…Sev…” Rose moaned and more incoherent words fell from her lips as he continued his ministrations. It had to be painful as her grip on his hair tightened, but she couldn´t release him and he didn´t complain. Hot sensation pooled between her legs. She moaned louder, babbled even more.

“Oh…don´t stop…yes…” Only his hands on her hips prevented her from falling to the floor as her knees buckled and she jerked uncontrolled to increase the friction as her orgasm reached its highest point.

Breathing heavy, Rose loosened finally her death grip on Severus´ hair and stroked soothingly over his head. Some stray thoughts in the back of her mind reminded her that she still was angry with him, but she managed successfully to push them away, for now.

Severus stood up. He reached for Rose´s hand and brought it down between them. The hard bulge of his erection strained against his clothes. 

“Yes. Take me,” Rose whispered between kisses and felt Severus shudder. She rubbed the heel of her hand over him before stepping completely out of her trousers. The rest of her clothes followed swiftly.

Severus didn´t hesitate and pushed his own trousers down, his erection bobbed between them.

The small table he usually used when he picked out ingredients was gladly empty as he lifted Rose onto it. He held her legs in her knee pits and looked down. Rose blushed as he stared so shamelessly at her, but Severus didn´t prolong this moment. He closed the distance between them and entered Rose in one stroke. His eyes shut as he buried himself into her. He stayed for a couple of seconds like this, breathed deeply through slightly parted lips while his heart pounded faster with every passing beat. But then he pulled Rose closer to the edge of the desk to gain a better angle and started thrusting into her, accompanied by low moans. Rose´s encouraging moans and single words of “faster”, “more” and “there, yes, there” brought him fast to the brink of his release and as she flexed her muscles on purpose and tightened even more around him, he lost the small battle of holding on and came with a strangled moan. He rocked a few more times against Rose, eyes still closed and lips parted.

But then Rose sat up straighter and slung her arms around Severus´ neck. Her lips teased the rim of his ear as she whispered, “Don´t think we won´t talk about your behaviour only because you made me come.”

Before Severus could do more than take a breath for his answer, a plopping-sound next to them announced the appearance of a house-elf.

Severus plucked Rose from the table and wrapped his long cape around both of them. It was not the first time that he was immensely grateful for his clothing habits.

“What is it?” he snapped at the elf.

“Headmaster Professor Dumbledore wants to see you in his office, Professor Snape, sir,” the tiny, and obviously very young, she-elf answered sheepishly with trembling, high-pitched voice. She stared on a point somewhere at the height of Snape´s knee.

“Tell him I´m on my way,” Severus told her, making an effort of sounding friendlier.

The elf dipped her head in a brief bow and disappeared.

“Oh god…” Rose giggled and buried her face in the warm fabric of Severus´ coat.

“Quite. And I haven´t told her to shut up so I´m sure Dumbledore will be well informed when I arrive.”

“She looked young.”

“Yes, she´s certainly new in the castle. I better hurry and **you** should join your classmates.”

Severus turned away and pulled his trousers up.

“Can I come down later?” Rose asked before he opened the door.

Severus looked over his shoulder and smiled. Rose stood there, still naked, and wore the sweetest frown he had seen in a long time.

“Yes, please.” It took all his will to part his gaze from her but he couldn´t let Dumbledore wait.

***

“Headmaster.” Severus inclined his head as he entered Dumbledore´s office and noticed someone else in the high backed chair in front of the desk. The other figure peered around the backrest.

“Severus,” Kingsley nodded seriously.

“Please, take a seat, my boy.” Dumbledore smiled. “Tea?”

Severus, like so often, accepted the tea even though he actually wasn´t thirsty. But he had learned quickly that it was never wrong to have a cup to prolong the time to answer while taking a sip of the always flowery brew or what was far more important to occupy one´s fingers with holding the fragile china instead of drawing the wand and simply kill the Headmaster and finally stop this damned twinkle.

Together with the tea, Dumbledore slid a bowl with Sherbet Lemon closer to Severus.

“Help yourself.” The smile grew broader, Dumbledore knew exactly that Severus despised Sherbet Lemon.

With a sigh, Severus ignored the sweets and leant back in his chair.

“So, what is it?”

“Ah, right to the business. Good, good.” Dumbledore nodded. “Kingsley sadly could not find out when your trial will be. Between now and the original date everything is possible.” 

“Indeed?” Severus frowned into his tea. He´d expected nothing else.

“I´m really sorry. I never noticed how secretive the Wizengamot could be.” Kingsley Shacklebolt shrugged in an apologetic manner.

“And that they already agreed to my resignation and therefore won´t allow me presiding the trial isn´t helpful either,” Dumbledore said with a frown. “But there´s another matter. I have to leave for a few days and hope you can manage Hogwarts again.”

“Of course. Is this all then? I have to return to my class.” Severus felt not the slightest urge to prolong his stay in this office and already made his way to the door.

“Ah, Severus, one thing.” Dumbledore stood up too, “I had to send little Minky twice and I´d prefer if you´d use the potions and ingredients room only exactly as that for the next time you feel…certain urges.”

Severus couldn´t help the guilty expression that crept over his face right before he blushed. Wordless he nodded and cursed the damned old man behind his desk for his smug smile and the bloody amused twinkle in his eyes. Hurriedly and with drastically decreased mood, he swept through the castle. This whole trial was already nerve wrecking before it really had begun.

The faint pink of the blush still lingered on Severus´ cheeks as he entered the library.

“All notes to me,” he snarled. Without warning but a swift motion of his wand, the parchments flew in his arms. “Dismissed,” he added already on his way back to the dungeons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we´re coming closer to the end of this part...
> 
> But what I´m curious about, has anyone of you ever listened to one of the songs I borrowed my titles from?   
> I listen to them a lot to get into the right mood, either for writing or for editing.


	28. Chapter 28

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose turned around and smiled softly even before she´d opened her eyes.

“Do you have to stare at me every morning?” she asked and yawned.

“You´re beautiful,” Severus whispered hoarsely and stroked over Rose´s cheek.

Now she opened her eyes. The smile faded into a worried frown as she saw the sad expression on Severus´ face and the suspiciously bright eyes.

“Please, stop worrying. Everything will be fine. I´m sure.” She bent forward and kissed him.

“Last night I dreamed of you.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. I was sentenced to life in Azkaban and you fell in love with a handsome, intelligent wizard. Turned out it was Remus. You had four children, two boys and two girls.” Severus swallowed heavily.

“Severus, is this still because of the rumours and all?” Rose asked quietly.

Severus gazed at her, something desperate flickered through his eyes.

“You are so close already…I really thought I´d lose you to him. And once I´m gone…”

“Severus! Don´t make assumptions. Wait for the trial and don´t talk as if they´d already sentenced you guilty.”

“We don´t know how things will turn out and…”

“Exactly,” Rose interrupted him. “We don´t know. Now hush.” She grazed her fingers softly over his jaw settling for diversion. “Let´s do something nice today,” she said, slapping on an enthusiastic grin.

Severus puffed out a sigh but then accepted the change of topic and smiled too, even though it was a little pitiful. “I missed my Sunday morning walk. Again. We could go together.”

Against her usual grumpiness in the morning, Rose jumped out of the bed and snatched an armful of clothes, disappearing in the bathroom. As Severus followed her two minutes later, she stood already under the shower, brushing her teeth while rinsing her hair.

“Are you ill?” Severus asked with the slightest hint of amusement.

“No, but I want to get the most out of this day.” She stepped out of the shower and grinned again. “You take a shower and then we grab something for breakfast.”

“Do you really want to go under people?”

“We´ve spent the whole Saturday down here. We have to show some presence. Besides, I´d like to talk to my friends, at least for a few minutes.”

Severus made a noncommittal sound but did as Rose had told him.

Fifteen minutes later, Rose took his hand and dragged him from the safety of his chambers out into the castle. On their way upstairs, they met a small group of Slytherins.

“Oh hey, Rose!” Pansy grinned and eyed Rose and Severus. “Professor Snape,” she added with a nod.

“Do you go to breakfast?” Rose asked and fell into step with Pansy, still not letting go of Severus´ hand. Pansy affirmed and the girls started an easy conversation.

After two corridors, Severus stopped his subtle fight against Rose´s grip and instead interlaced his fingers with hers. She glanced at him and smiled. Severus snorted softly and shook his head.

Many students turned their heads towards the door as Rose and Severus entered, followed by Slytherins.

“See you around,” Rose waved to Pansy and turned to Severus. “Give me half an hour, ok?”

“Whatever you want.” Severus shrugged casually and went towards the Head Table.

“Severus,” Rose called as he was a few steps away. He looked back, but Rose said nothing, only grinned and winked.

***

Severus and Rose spent most of the time until lunch outside. They walked circuit after circuit around the lake. They talked not much but held hands all the time. Every now and then Severus stopped and pulled Rose into his arms. He ignored the few students outside happily as well as the possibility to be seen from the castle. And anyway, the longer they walked and the more often they stopped for kissing the less interesting they became and soon most of the curious bystanders disappeared into the warmth of the castle.

“We should´ve done that all along,” Severus said as they strolled over the grass and in a huge curve back up to the castle.

“What exactly?”

“Showing what we feel for each other, maybe we would´ve had more time to enjoy it.”

“Severus!” Rose arched an eyebrow. “You do it again. You promised to stop being so pessimistic.” She braced her hands on her hips and stared at him pointedly until he tilted his head.

“You´re right. I should remember who I am, true, Potter?” Severus straightened and loomed in his habitual intimidating manner over Rose. Though, looming over her was not too difficult, really, considering that most people were taller than Rose. Maybe except the first years, but they were almost on eyelevel too.

“Idiot! Don´t Potter me,” Rose said but laughed about his sudden change in demeanour.

“You think that funny, don´t you? Maybe you need a week of detention so you´ll remember **your** place again.” Severus smirked and stepped closer, his eyes glinting.

“Detention, sir? But I haven´t done anything.” Rose fluttered her eyelashes and cocked her head innocently.

“You never are responsible for anything, I already know that and I know that everyone treats you like a princess, regardless your cheeky mouth and disobedient behaviour,” Severus whispered and wrapped his arms around Rose, pulling her roughly against him.

Rose gasped. Her eyes widened.

“Oi, Professor,” she whispered, “Is that your wand or are you so excited to keep me for detention?”

Severus groaned lowly. “Inside,” he rasped. “Now.”

***

“We missed lunch,” Rose said and stretched contently on the bed, wriggling and arching off the mattress. Severus watched her intently. His eyes darted hungrily over Rose´s skin.

“I don´t really care. Concerning me, we could stay here forever and let Dobby bring us food,” he mumbled into her bellybutton and prodded it teasingly with his tongue. Rose giggled and jerked away, but Severus chased after her. However, he stopped teasing her soon and instead mouthed his way over her stomach to her breasts, nibbling on the soft skin.

“Mmmmm, staying here is an excellent idea,” Rose said with a hum as Severus softly bit into one nipple. “Let´s…” She broke up and looked at the door, frowning and propping herself up on her elbows. “Do you expect someone?”

Severus frowned too, considering the door thoughtful then he scrunched his face up. “Right. I told Miss Lovegood to come down today.”

“No! Severus! No brewing today!” Rose whined and disappeared under the blanket.

It knocked again.

With a suffering sigh, Severus peeled himself off the bed and quickly slid into his trousers, buttoning his shirt on the way to the door.

Rose heard him opening and telling Luna to wait a moment. As he came back into the bedroom, Rose lifted the blanket to peek out.

“Come on. I have to brew Wolfsbane for Remus and I thought you could help and I´ll tell you more about it,” Severus said lightly and pulled the blanket away, his eyes travelling again over Rose.

“Wolfsbane?” Rose sat up, interested.

Severus smirked and walked to the door, saying while walking out, “Hurry, we won´t wait for you.”

As Rose joined them five minutes later, Severus had his sleeves rolled up and his hair tied back into a ponytail. Rose grinned.

“Suits you.”

“It´s ridiculous. I really need to cut them a little.”

“You look aristocratic,” Luna said and smiled. “You should keep it this long and wear a ponytail more often. You have perfect cheekbones for that.”

Severus stopped in his attempt to browse through his ingredients cupboard and turned with bewildered raised eyebrows to Luna who already followed her thought further.

“Or you cut it short. I mean really short. That would have the same effect. So, what do we need for the potion?” She looked up as if the whole hair-cut-topic never had taken place.

Rose snickered behind her hand but then gazed at Severus who still stared slightly puzzled at Luna.

“I´m curious how it would look like if you had short hair,” Rose said, inclining her head thoughtfully.

“That won´t happen. Not as long as my hair isn´t hopelessly filthy and tangled or I singe it accidentally off.” With a determined nod he swirled around and resumed collecting ingredients while starting to explain everything notable about the Wolfsbane potion.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo...here comes the end (at least for this part)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

On Tuesday morning everyone sat bleary eyed and drowsy as usual in front of their breakfast and tried to wake up enough to go through the day. A few heads turned as the doors opened and a mildly giggling Rose followed by Severus entered. He shook his head in fond exasperation but couldn´t stop the chuckle, quite as shock for the students who barely had seen their surely Potions Professor honestly smile but now he even grinned and laughed even in public. Before their ways parted Severus kissed Rose´s cheek, whispering something that made Rose giggle again.

“Ah, good morning. Do we have to ask or will you tell us why your mood is so extraordinary good today?” Draco grinned and held the last egg, Rose had grabbed for, out of her reach.

“Give…it…back” Rose stretched and tried to get her breakfast back. This all ended in spilled milk and juice, sprayed cereals and finally a whooping Rose who held victorious the egg up like a trophy, sitting more on Draco´s lap than on her own seat.

A lot of students looked over to their small turmoil as well as virtually all teachers.

Sirius gave her a thumbs-up and earned a cuff to the head from Remus and a glare from Severus who redirected his attention to Charlie who raised both thumbs and grinned foolishly. Severus leant closer as he said something and smirked as Charlie paled visibly before he lowered his head over his breakfast.

Rose chuckled and lifted quizzically her chin, but Severus only arched an eyebrow and sipped pointedly unimpressed his tea.

“So, now, what was the matter?” Of course Draco wouldn´t let it go.

“Actually nothing important just a bit bickering…We talked about classes and I reminded him of our start and his very first lesson with me in his class.”

“He was pretty unfair to you,” Hermione said with pursed lips.

“Yes and I recited a part of his little speech,” Rose chuckled.

“Oh you mean the…” Ron started and Rose grinned and nodded.

“Ah, yes, Rose Potter. Our new – _celebrity_ ” Rose mimicked Severus´ soft voice and his expression, straightening on her seat. Her friends laughed.

“I remember **that**!” Draco snickered. “And then he went full into his topic: You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making,” he chanted in an even better imitation as Rose who went on, “As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic.”

Ron tried hard to gulp down his food without suffocating whilst laughing so hard that already tears streaked down his face. To everyone´s astonishment Hermione joined in and said in a nearly perfect soft whisper, “I don´t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes,”

“…the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins,” Draco said again followed by Rose, “…bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…” By this point most of the surrounding students listened and chuckled behind their hands and Rose and her friends had to stop as an unruly fit of laughter overpowered their ability to recite.

“Potter!” Severus stood suddenly like sprouted from the ground behind them. He had one hand on Rose´s shoulder and the other on the table in front of her as he leant down. “Make more fun of me in front of the school and I quiz your knowledge here and now.”

Rose managed to look as innocent as possible as she blinked from under her eyelashes up to him.

“Fun, sir? Me? Never would I dare to make fun of you, Professor Snape.”

Severus clicked his tongue, his eyes twinkled a spur dangerously as he bent further down.

“I should give you detention. You know, I do not take cheek from anyone, Potter . . . not even ‘the Chosen One’,” he stage whispered. Rose felt his thumb stroke over the crook of her neck and his smile against her ear as he added, “Tut, tut – fame clearly isn´t everything,” he enunciated every single word pointedly and with small breaks between them.

Everyone in earshot who had heard that and had been there in their first year burst into laughter. Rose turned and squeezed Severus´ hand before he swept gracefully back to his seat on the teacher´s table, head held high.

Remus, like most of the teachers, chuckled as he winked down to Rose.

With a huge grin Rose turned back to her friends and dug into her breakfast.

***

However, Rose's elation persisted only over the morning, namely until she sat completely unsuspecting in the afternoon lesson of Defence. Remus was just about to pair them up for a demonstration as the door was thrown open with a loud bang.

“Rose! Rose!” Sirius barked and sprinted into the room, startling everyone. “They took him. The Ministry sent two officials to fetch him. No one knew and Dumbledore´s still not back.”

“What?” Rose asked confused and tried to make sense of what her godfather was saying.

“Severus. They brought him away.”

“No. When?” Rose stood up, not even asking if she could leave and hastened out of the room, Sirius close on her heels.

“Right before lunch. Filch saw them but thought we knew. I found out only now.”

Rose quickened her steps. She´d seen that Severus hadn´t come to lunch, but that wasn´t unusual and so she hadn´t thought anything of it. Damn, if she´d only have gone down to him. Was that even legal? To simply drag him away?

Unwanted pictures of a struggling Severus who finally was stunned by two hulk-like Aurors bounced through her mind. Rose gasped for air.

“Rose, Sirius. Wait.” Remus ran after them. “What are you doing?”

“I need to know what will happen now. I need to tell them the truth,” Rose spluttered frantically and jogged further down the corridor until Professor McGonagall called all of them back.

“Rose, not so fast. I have a message for you.”

Rose stumbled to a stop and doubled back.

“The Headmaster is on his way to the Ministry he awaits you there. Severus´ trial was set to take place as soon as they brought him in.”

“What? But no one asked me to go there. How can they hold court without asking me?” Rose asked.

“I´m sure they don´t want anyone to testify for him. I wouldn´t wonder if the sentence was already fixed beforehand,” Remus said darkly and took Rose´s hand, squeezing it.

“Please, bring me to London. I have to be there.” Rose looked pleadingly up to Remus, grasping with her free hand for his shirt.

“Yes. Go. Go. I´ll look after your class,” McGonagall said, making a shooing motion with her hands.

They departed immediately, ran more than they walked to get past the anti-apparition-wards and arrived seconds later in front of the Ministry. The whole process of getting inside, the security check and registration of their wands took so long that Rose almost lost the little bit of restraint she still possessed. But eventually they were allowed to proceed. Rose wrenched the door to the court room open and stumbled inside. Everyone turned to the three incomers. Flashlights illuminated the room as every reporter shot photos of Rose, shouting questions. But Rose ignored them. Her eyes fixed on Severus, she stalked closer to the middle of the room. Only a guard stopped her from walking straight to Severus who looked ghostly pale and wore a haunted expression. Rose saw him swallow as he looked at her.

“Please stand for the honourable Wizengamot,” a speaker announced as about twenty people in plum-coloured robes entered the room. Rustling of clothes sounded as the spectators stood up as told.

For a moment Rose was relieved, they were still in time. Surely she could give her statement and this whole topic could be closed. But then the chairman, an ancient little Wizard with long white hair and astounding sharp gaze, cleared his throat and Rose felt her confidence slip as she acknowledged the truth. Severus was already here for hours, the incoming Wizengamot and the looks of Severus couldn´t mean that the trial was only about to start now.

Rose grasped for Remus who laid his arm around her shoulder. Out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed that the door opened again and Dumbledore arrived finally. He looked windswept and more than furious. Magic cackled in the air as he strode towards Severus. The guard tried to stop him too, but shied away after a stormy look and let him pass.

“Why has no one informed me?” Dumbledore asked with cold rage in his voice. “Since when does the Wizengamot hold court in such an important matter without hearing witnesses?”

The chairman narrowed his eyes. He seemed unfazed by Dumbledore´s presence and accusations. “You have been informed, haven´t you? And now I ask you to be silent for the sentence or I will have to remove you from court.”

Dumbledore and the other wizard regarded each other with a cold look. In the end it was Dumbledore who took a step back and laid his hand on Severus´ shoulder.

The chairman nodded and then spoke with clear, strong voice, “The High Wizarding Court has listened today to the testimonies of Severus Tobias Snape regarding his past as Death Eater in service of You-Know-Who, his involvement in misanthropic and violent acts conducted in this service and finally his relationship to an underage girl, namely Miss Rose Potter. Based on the severity of the deeds, the Wizengamot came to following conclusion and degree of penalty.” The chairman made a small break to draw breath and gazed seriously at Severus. “Mister Snape, the Wizengamot adjudges you guilty for the time of your known membership of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named until you verifiably took service with Albus Dumbledore. Though we honour your efforts against You-Know-Who, we cannot discount your actions in his service and the disastrous involvement in the deaths of James and Lily Potter, nor can we ignore the fact that you worked sincerely for You-Know-Who until your change of heart. Alone your testified regular use of the Unforgivable Curses can only be charged with Azkaban.”

Rose held her breath, ignoring the dark blotches in her vision while her lungs screamed for air. Nothing of what the chairman had said so far gave reason to relax. Remus´ arm around her tightened and Rose grasped for his other hand, squeezing his fingers. At her other side, Sirius moved closer and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Accounting your time as spy and the valuable information you were able to obtain, we decided to let this act as mitigating circumstances.

Thus you will be sentenced to nine years of Azkaban for becoming a Death Eater and partaking in their ideological actions and to three years for your involvement in the deaths of James and Lily Potter.”

Rose gasped, almost launching forward. Remus held her back, silently communicating to keep quiet.

“Regarding the charge of an illicit relationship with a minor, we cannot express how outrageous it is how this relationship started. Bad enough that Miss Potter had not yet been seventeen, but putting her through such extensive emotional and physical abuse is beyond excuse. We sentence you therefore to eighteen years in Azkaban. Your sentence will be non-appealable. The case is closed.” The chairman stood up as hastily as he had announced the court´s decision and disappeared through a door at the back of the room, even before anyone could do as much as take a breath.   

Rose stumbled.

Thirty years…

**Thirty** years?

“Severus!” She tried again to get past the guard, but he wouldn´t let her. Severus turned towards her. Dumbledore spoke intently with the authorised Aurors who stood indeed back and gave Severus the opportunity to walk over to Rose.

“They can´t do that! They haven´t even heard me or Dumbledore.”

Severus took Rose´s hand in his. He lifted them to his lips and kissed softly her knuckles.

“They knew everything. Even about us, even of the truth serum. Whoever their source is, he knows us very well,” he said lowly. His gaze flickered over her face, taking as much in as possible. “I love you. You know that, don't you?” Severus' face twisted into an agonized smile.

“Of course,” Rose whispered, her voice taut and shaky.

“Good. Promise me you won't grieve about us for too long. Move on and live your life. Find love and be happy,” he said with depressing finality only adding, “Maybe it was fate after all that you and Remus have gotten so close...” His voice cracked.

“No! Don´t do that! You can´t give up. They can´t do that to you. I won´t let them lock you up. I promise, I won´t let them do that!” Rose sobbed, tears streaking down her face.

Severus inclined his head.

The guard to their left eyed them suspiciously but didn´t intervene as Severus bent over the barrier to pull Rose into his arms. Cameras clicked all around the room and the scratching of feathers over paper grew to a steady noise, grating in one´s ears.

“You are the best that ever happened to me. I love you. I love you so much,” Severus whispered into Rose´s ear before he cupped her face in his hands. His thumbs stroked some of her tears away as he smiled at her, a crooked, little thing that somehow only underlined the devastation in his eyes.

“That is enough now,” the guard said firmly, coming closer.

Severus ignored him and kissed Rose who grabbed handfuls of his robes and clutched at them. She couldn´t stop the tears from spilling over her cheeks, turning the kiss wet and salty, desperate.

Strong hands clamped down on Severus´ shoulder and turned him away from Rose, steering him to a door.

 “Severus!” Rose called. He turned his head even though the Aurors who marched him off didn´t stop in their strides. “I love you! I love you!”

Severus smiled. His gaze bore into Rose´s as long as he could twist in the Aurors´ grip then the darkness behind the door swallowed the three men.

The door closed with blatant finality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it, you finished the fifth part of this story. What do you think?  
> Please don´t hate me now for locking Severus up.  
> Changes are on their way and Severus will be indeed absent for some time, for how long you will see. I really hope you´ll stay with me (even through hard times) and don´t let the changes drive you away. It´ll all turn out all right in the end, promise!!!!!
> 
> However, I´m not sure when part six will start (I think I always say that when I finish a part, don´t I?), but I´m working on a fast release of the next chapter.
> 
> Now, I wish you a nice remaining Sunday and a wonderful start into the new week and hope to see you around for the rest of the journey (however long it will turn out :D )


End file.
